Don't you think the post office is kind of like, empty?
"Gee, I don't know. Who is there near the entrance then?"
Let me get my glasses. Oh wait, you're the one that's blind. That person is just a pillar. The one holding the gate steady?
"Ok wise-ass. Don't you think all that happened was a little confusing? Why would anyone try to rob a park? There wasn't a bank nearby either."
"Who knows? Let's just get home for now."
"Just wait here. I'll be back in 5. Ain't that big of a package. Or I hope so."
Ever thought why Fred always has a look on his face? The kind of look that gives off the shit's not going according to the plan look. He's a damn trucker I'll say.
"How would I know? I'm not specialized in reading emotions and stuff. And shut up. You don't even know what a trucker is."
"Here it is. I think this is a book."
A book? From whom does it says it's from?
"Some guy named Joshua. Who the heck is Joshua?"
Your weird uncle Joshua. The one who is always talking about his alien collections and stuff.
"Huh?"
The one who carries around binoculars.
"Who now?"
Your hot cousin's dad.
"Oh that Joshua! Silly me I forgot."
Yeah dumbass.
*BAM!*
"What the hell was that?"
I don't know. But it came from outside. Maybe the car?
"Let's just go check. No use in thinking what it could have been."
"What the fuck! My fucking car."
"Fred! Calm down. Atleast you're safe."
"That cost me a fucking fortune man."
Umm. You guys do see the huge fucking meteor on top of the damn car. Right?
"Yeah, we... What? What the fuck?"
I see you did not. So ladies and gentlemen, so it seems he's as blind as he's dumb.
"Seriously! How the fuck? Fred's freaking out and all you're thinking of is sarcasm?"
Yeah. Otherwise what the hell did you think I was supposed to do? It's written here in bold letters. Be sarcastic.
"Wait what?"
The script. Oh I made some changes of my own too. If ya don't mind.
"So. What should we do about Fred? We can't leave him like this."
Time for a vote. I say leave him here. One and two. Let's leave him.
"Two? You and who? I can't see nob..."
YO!
"Who the heck? WHO ARE YOU?"
Yo I'm right here. Yeah I'm your other personality. We don't talk much nowadays. So I've seen this plot everywhere. Fred's deadmeat either way. Tell 'im to take a hike.
"Yes sir! Psst. He scared me near to death with his opinion. No wonder we don't talk much nowadays. I tell you, it's banishment for him. Let's move tho. Hey Fred. I'm going. See you at home."
-----------------------------------
He looks like a sad bag of potatoes. Yeah. Looks disgusting. Grown ass man crying for a fucking truck. Told you he was a damn trucker.
"Oh you did not mister. We're a long way from home. There's two men. We could ask for directions. Right?"
Sure why not. Wait. They kinda seem familiar.
"Told you, John. I told you a huge storm was coming."
"A storm of meteorites? What are you now? An Astrologer? Ma did say you were the crazy one."
Ofcourse. The two extras I eavesdropped on before. I tell you if that John dude can see me. I'm fucking killing him. He looks like a farmer, and a British reject. Like both a Farmer and a British reject both fucked and had an abomination. An abomination I tell you.
"Calm down dumbass. Hello gentlemen. I seem to be lost and in need of help. Can you point me to the direction of the nearest bus stop?"
"Kid. Have you not seen what's happening? There's a fucking meteor right beside you."
Whoa. Where the heck did it come from? I swear I did not hear crashing. And I surely did not see no meteorites here when we were walking. That brings me to did we just see a fucking meteor crash into Fred's car and just casually leave? I can barely see the post office now. Well he might as well as be dead by now.
"Huh, damn. I never thought of it like that."
Never thought of it like that? He's your freaking best friend and you left him there. Guess you wanted to follow the script so much that you broke into your own path.
"Shut up for a second. I believe that you still haven't given me an answer. I asked where the bus stop was. Or if what you're saying is true, then do you mind giving us a lift?"
"Us? Kid you ok? 'Cause I can see the only one of ya."
"Oh sorry that was what I meant. I was in the company of a friend just a few moments ago before his car broke down."
Should've just said we dumped him. Y'know. For the aliens to probe or chomp him down for lunch. You're one hell of a friend. Glad I ain't real. Now focus on Sam the psycho. He might just give us a ride.
"You just left your friend there? For whatever to happen. He could die or something. You are one hell of a kid. My brother John here is smarter than you. John, just get rid of him."
What was that fuck face? Just ignore him.
"Ok kid. I'll say this once. See that long tower."
"That's where I should go?"
"No. But I hear you can get sushi from a town near that tower."
"Umm John. The bus stop."
"Oh yes. See the road?"
"Let me guess. Leads to a shop where you heard they sell the most fantastic noodles?"
Maybe a small shop where he sold his common sense for gas.
"What the hell, no kid. Keep going straight and you'll arrive at a junction. Take a left and you'll arrive at the bus station to ummmm.. what's the name again? Sam help me."
"It's Avalon. The town's famous for raising crazies like John."
"Hey! Watch it."
"You watch it. You're the one who dragged me into this mess. I was happy back home."
Let's go whilst they are busy. We wouldn't get another chance like this. Crazy people.
"Yeah let's get a move on. Avalon hmm."
Avalon. Avalon. Avalon. Avalon. Avalon. Avalon.
"Shut up. Shut up shut up."
Avalon. Hmm. Hmmmmmmmmm.
"Just say what you want. I can imagine you saying that for the rest of the trip."
Avalon. Alone. AV Lone. Avalone. AV Lane. It's AV Lane dumbass.
"AV Lane? What the fuck's that?"
I don't know.
"Then why'd ya say it."
Just wanted to prove both that John and Sam have no brains. Calling AV Lane Avalon. Dumbasses.
"Who in the right mind would name a town AV Lane? Might be a cuckoo zone like Sam said."
So you agreeing with the crazy fellows. Might as well take over your body now. You're becoming useless.
"Take over? You can actually do that?"
You've been talking to me for 3 years now. There's a connection here. Who do you think does the shit you do when you go into a 'breakdown'? I was just testing the connection.
"Ok ok. Shut up about that. Scared me."
It's actually amazing. When you can't deal with bullies and people, I stepped up. You should be thankful. This. The small talks between us is what change my mind from taking over you.
"Ok boss. We're here. Your stupid AV Lane. Home of the cuckoos."
Think we'll find your Uncle here?
"The hot cousin's father?"
No you numbskull. Joshua.
"Oh him. Maybe. Wait what was that noise?"
I don't know but does hiding help you?
"Look at there and you'll know why I'm hiding."
Holy fucking shit. That's a Behemoth. Leviathan. Demon. Monster!
"Calm down, dumbass. Let it pass."
Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
"I am breathing!"
I'm not talking you.
"So this is what Sam and John was talking about? A monster the size of a house? Is every single one of them that size? You thinking what I'm thinking?"
Go back to the idiots? Yes I'm thinking that. Let's move. You silently.
"As silently as I can"
*Crunch*
You did not just do that. Obvious horror story plot. Run now. If you die I die.
"The monster ain't noticed me? Does it have ears or ability to hear? Let me check. HEY! HUGE GOOEY MONSTER thingy."
*GROWWWWWWWLLLLLLLL*
Was that what you wanted. Did I hurt you in any way? Wait don't answer that. Now for the love of God. RUUN! SPRINT! JUST GET A MOVE ON!
"I am. So much my tiny legs can handle."
Don't stop. Thank God the monster is slow as fuck.
"Ok. Don't stop."
I think I see them. Shout for them.
"HEY! SAM! JOHN! WEIRDOS! HELP ME! OR JUST RUN!"
"Hey it's that kid. Told you it wouldn't take long before he comes back to us, scaredy cat. Now let's kill the alien and save his ass."
"Whatever ya say Sam."
They seem to be coming towards us.
"Calm down kid. We got this."
"But it's."
"We know. Hideous. Now wait and watch."
They're going to kill that huge ass monster with a hand gun?
"There it comes. Umm Sam? John?"
"Holy mother of monstrosity. What the heck is that thing."
"I thought you got this. Sam. Now before we become chow, I say we put some distance from it. Kid! Move it."
"Ok. So our best chance is to run?"
"Yep."
Alright. Do that. Then our only way of survival is sticking with these weirdos. Now chop-chop.
"Are there more of that?"
"We don't know. We only dealt with the few small ones. Guess you're stuck with us kid."
Yeah, this'll be nice. A trip to nowhere with Grumpy and Mr. Drools a lot.
"Hey, don't be rude. And does Sam really drool that much?"
Yeah. It's here. Right in the script.
"Where? I don't see it!"
Right here. Right under the umm, actually nevermind.
"What is it?"
It's under worthless shit I might say part.
"Should've known! So guys. Any idea where we'll be safe or something?"
"Best idea? We head towards the Village of Onku Dak."
"What in the huh now?"
Illegal immigrants?
"How'd you get that?"
*Rustle* *Rustle* *Crunch*
"What was that? Enemy? Wolf? Gorilla? Anaconda? Godzilla? Mothra? Scooby-Doo?"
And I'm the weird one.
"Shut up kid. We aren't alone in here."
Oh is that right now? Huge ass Jungle. Ofcourse we're not alone idiot.
"Sam, go right. I'll go the other way."
"Food?"
He's a vile beast for even this mighty jungle.
"Hey. What about me?"
"Stay frosty kid. We'll be right back with possibly dinner."
"Alright."
*Pow*
"Sam. Where is it."
*Rustle*
"He's a damn kid. Let's drag him back."
My guess? It's the Natives. And maybe we're their food now.
"Fred?"
"The trucker kid you left?"
"No food?"
The heck did John say now?
"Does everyone see him as a trucker? Just because he owns a truck?"
"At this age? Yes."
"Not food?"
Push the damn emergency button. John has gone Stone Age on us.
"Guess we'll wait until he's awake. Can't carry him to the village."
"So this Duck Gang. Is it a safe place?"
"Kid. What the hell is Duck Gang? I said Donkey Bunk."
"Idiots. It's neither. It's King Kong."
It's Onku Dak. And seriously. The hell's wrong with you, John. Even Sam got it wrong.
"It's Onku Dak."
"Kid. You were listening. So John, after this Fred the Trucker wakes up, off to the Jedi Island."
"Onku Dak!"
"Yes. That one."
I'm beginning to think Onku Dak is just something else. Both of them has said it incorrectly for about a million times now.
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