Chapter 15: Chapter 16: Strength
"No!" repeated Adoria for perhaps the fiftieth time now, glaring down at me with her huge frame. "It's ridiculous! What would we say if you were to get hurt? It would be pointless and I would be failing in my job!"
"Come on!" I retorted, frustration swelling up inside me once again. "It cannot be the end of the world to have me able to defend myself!"
"Those are two very different things, Your Majesty! Defending yourself will NOT entail me training you to fight in a war!"
"But what if we are short of people?! I cannot simply sit back and watch!"
Adoria's face was growing red with anger by now. It was a new look for her, and one that I hoped I would never be on the receiving end of ever again. It sent chills down my spine. Instinctively reeling back from the short distance between us, I fell silent long before Adoria thought of a response to that.
It was a simple glare for what felt like eternity. In the end, there was no long rant or overbearing lecture, just a simple refusal to teach me in the art of battle.
It was not like I did not understand her position, but seriously, if I were to be caught unawares or without protection, what was I to do? Perhaps I would not be able to run in that situation, and it would be better to be trained since I knew now that people would be out to take my life!
Was this not the natural course of action to take?
In the end, it her silence was broken with Adoria only dismissing my protests.
"Enough, Your Majesty! You are looking to run a nation, not fight in battle!"
"But Adoria! People will go to war and fight because of me! So that I do not have to!"
Adoria narrowed her eyes and her lips curled upwards into a small smirk, goading me.
"That's just it, Your Majesty! People fight because of you, so you do not have to! So show some gratitude for it and allow them to do their duty in protecting you!"
"Adoria, you are not understanding!"
Instantly, she was in my face again, looking down on me from her tall figure. An expression of utmost anger. In this moment, I was helpless to do anything save for brace myself for what was to come.
"No, I understand very well Your Majesty! That you wish to fight this war yourself! That you do not have need of people like me, who fight and are willing to die to keep you safe! If you truly wish to throw your life away in this war, then what good is it having us around?!"
That…that was not right. Not what I had meant at all. I simply wished to be prepared for it if the time should come where I would need to be able to protect myself.
Though that thought came, I found myself unable to speak. Stunned in to silence, I could only watch as Adoria now silently slinked back to her position beside the throne. It was clear that she did not want to be with me at the moment, but were I to send her away, I know that would only be worse.
For the next several hours, we simply sat in silence refusing to speak to one another. It was the worst fight of any kind we had since I took my position upon the throne.
It was not until Dahlia came by later in the day that either of us spoke again. It was almost condescending the way she spoke, as if she were mocking me. Even though she was one of the people I trusted the most by now, sometimes she could be just so irritating.
Tilting her head and placing her hands behind her back, she leaned close to me and asked
"Well? What has you down, Miss Sylvari? You seem awfully quiet today."
Truly, I did not feel like giving her a straight answer at the moment. It was an embarrassing moment for the both of us. Or so I had thought, until Adoria answered for me.
"Her Majesty and I had an argument. That is all."
Dahlia had already begun to stuck her nose in, there would be no stopping her now.
"Ah, I knew it. The two of you never seem this uncomfortable near each other. In fact, I remember how Miss Sylvari practically begged for us to promote Miss Adoria-2
"Enough, Dahlia!"
I could not help it. That was so embarrassing to bring up, speaking as if I was a child begging her parents for a friend to stay with me. How could I do anything save for interrupt her?
"Well," Dahlia continued as if nothing had happened speaking in a very matter of fact tone of voice "Knowing the two of you, I presume it is about the war?"
Both Adoria and I offered what felt like shameful nods. No words, only gestures as Dahlia continued with her lecture based on her guesswork that seemed frighteningly accurate.
"And because of the war, Miss Sylvari wishes to train in some self-defence arts, while Adoria believes it is too dangerous."
Adoria's mouth hung agape.
"How did you know with such precise detail?"
"Well, because I know the two of you well enough by now."
Somehow it did not surprise me that Dahlia had been expecting this. She had practically been raising me in her image as her successor so it was no wonder she could see the patterns that had been forming with us around. I wondered if she went through anything similar, taking over just after The Great War.
"Well, what should we do now Dahlia?"
Though I had not been surprised by her appearance, I was still unsure of what exactly her intentions were beyond putting a stop to our fight.
"That depends, Miss Sylvari. I for one do disagree with a Queen being able to defend herself. If you are sure you can handle it, that is." The trademark Dahlia smirk appeared on the older woman's face once again, she knew exactly what she was doing. Trying to simultaneously rile me up and lead Adoria to action. Though I knew what she was doing, my stubborn nature seemed to get the better of me lately.
"Of course I can handle it!"
After shouting that reply at the both of them, I could see a similar smirk slowly forming on Adoria's face for the first time today. She seemed to be looking forward to this, finally.
"I will warn you, Your Majesty. I will not hold back. And should I deem that you do not possess the talent or the skill for it, I will cease teaching you! Be ready!"
And so it had been decided that from now on, Adoria would train me in combat. Not only potential hand to hand combat, but swordplay and archery as well.
Over the course of the next few days, it was quickly discovered that while I had skills that I could be proud of when holding a bow, I was dismal in other areas.
That said, it was still unpleasant to be knocked down every day by Adoria. At this moment in time, she sat over me, my arm twisted in a manner that did not feel as if it should be possible.
"Your Majesty, you seriously need to improve your reaction time. In a real fight, you are dead within the first few seconds."
"Adoria, I am doing my best! Is it not enough to be skilled with a bow? I have a way to fight now!"
Adoria was swelling with rage again. She had become more agitated than usual the last few days. I suppose the pressures of both training me to defend myself as well as being the most trusted with protecting my life had been getting to her.
"Of course not! You said it yourself! What happens if you are caught without weapons? It's not like you carry a bow with you around the palace or when you go to meet some noble! Take this seriously!"
"Tch!"
I clicked my tongue, but held it after. I knew she was right to be honest. It was just hard to accept that I was not getting better. Though, of course I would not get any better after just a few days. I should be glad I was even getting anywhere with my training in the art of archery.
"But, Adoria…"
Adoria didn't even turn to look at me when she replied, still with her back turned constantly monitoring the doors of the room.
"Yes, Your Majesty?"
"Isn't it unfair to have you as an opponent every single day? When you're so strong."
"This will make you prepared for any opponent if you believe I am that strong. But there's plenty of people who can beat me. To be honest Your Majesty, I'm still of the belief that if you're ever in a situation where you feel like you need to do something like this, your biggest priority should be finding a way to run."
Nodding silently, I could feel the corners of my lips sagging into a frown. How many months in to being the Queen of Terra was I now? It had nearly been a year, yet I had barely noticed the time. Three words constantly echoed in my mind.
Strength. Change. Empathy.
Strength was something I was desperately trying to attain, but it felt as if it would never come. How was I supposed to become strong enough to fight a war in such little time? Thinking on that only ever led to thoughts on how cold and cruel this world really was, despite the bright colours I am always surrounded by.
"You can get up now, Your Majesty."
Slowly pushing myself to my feet, I found I needed to lean on Adoria for support to regain my balance. How shameful. Worse of all, it was something awfully weak of me.
Yet another failure in the strength department. I wished I could be more like Adoria. She had both the strength and the resolve to take action with meaning. Yet here I was, with a wavering resolve at the best of times and a strength that I was not sure the frailest of animals would fail to beat.
As the days continued to go by, I had barely improved at all. It was beginning to become clear that I was likely not cut out for this sort of thing. Not everyone has the potential to become a warrior, after all. That was what I would have liked to tell myself.
Instead, every time I was kicked down by Adoria, my face crashing into the dirt, ruining the appearance I meticulously crafted for the visitors that morning and rendering other work useless, I would still refuse to give up on learning. No matter how many times she kicked me down. Right?
I could not see any other way to deal with my problem.
The time of day I felt the most free was when I was finally allowed to practice with the bow. It came naturally to me. The wood in my hand was like a natural expansion of my body. I could sense exactly what I needed to do and more often than not the arrows flew where I needed them to.
"Well, Your Majesty, I definitely didn't expect you to be so good with a bow."
"Well…I did have some practice before taking the crown."
Though I knew that killing animals was different to aiming at people. Then the idea of resolve was something that bothered me once again.
Would it even be possible for me to use this as a weapon, knowing that it would be to take another person's life, rather than an animal?
No, my enemies would not hesitate. I could not afford to either. That was assuming I ended up with any reason to use it anyway.
As we chattered away, we almost missed the abrupt sound of a large wooden horn blaring outside. Rushing to the entrance of the Earthen Palace, ignoring the protests of my knights, Adoria and I laid our eyes upon what seemed like an impossible scene before us.
At the base of The Great Oak, were two large crowds of several thousand people. Both bore great white banners, signalling that they meant no harm. One crowd was leaving, and the other arriving. Though the group that was leaving far outnumbered the crowd coming in.
It took me a few moments to understand what was going on.
People were fleeing-to Port Terra, to take action against me. Or because they felt safer there. Those arriving were likely those who either loyal or sympathetic to my cause. But to see so few of them was gut-wrenching. I could feel my stomach turning, as I saw the display of how little trust so many people laid in me.
Though, I could not blame them.
It was like I had been telling myself over and over the last few days.
I lacked the strength.
Weekly Power Status
-- Power
Ranking 
-- Power
stone