Chapter 3: I shall live with No Regrets
"That's her- the daughter of a poor dancer- I heard her mother was a slut!" Fingers pointed at my direction when I was only five years old. Insults, criticisms burnt down my skin like a scar that day.
My father was a powerful Duke, the second powerful family after the Royal Family. It was true that he had married a dancer. My mother. No one dared to raise a finger at him when he was in my presence. But when the Emperor had sent him away to protect the borders of our country- insults plagued me.
I had learned that day how important it was to gain a powerful tittle. How important it was to climb up the hierarchy system.
I was lucky, since the Royal Couple had favored me and were my second family. There was only one boy who refused to see me as his family. It was the Crown Prince, Prince Ares.
He was always disgusted with me, and hated me to his guts. Although he wore a poker-mask on his face, his eyes would sometimes show his true self. Before, I thought it would just take patience and practice to gain his attention.
Over the years, I had learned that if I could make Prince Ares love me... maybe people wouldn't insult me anymore as their future Empress. I had trained days after days. Practicing Waltz dancing, princess etiquette to gain his attention. Formal Manners and Art Performances were all just for show.
"My Rose, you are a talented girl, just as your mother. You are a great dancer," my father and a few other people said. They were all pleased with my dancing and singing skills.
After this, I had asked him if I could learn how to dance. I didn't like like it actually. It was just for showing Prince Ares how talented I really was. It was all for attention.
But I then realized something. I came to love Prince Ares.
I danced in many banquets, parties, shows, dramas, and other balls. But he never spared anything in my direction. I thought it would. After that...
I learned how to play five different instruments. Embroider with two needles, sing in all of the ranges as possible, and study all of Leiden's History.
Nothing really happened.
But the truth was as ugly and dark. A Nightmare.
I closed my eyes as I brushed in all of my memories. How many years has it been? Yes... I had spent twelve years of my life to chase a useless man like him.
What did I get back in return?
Scars. Hatred. Disgust.
Now that I have been reborn into a Fifteen-year-old girl- I promise my life that I will not make the stupid mistakes.
Prince Ares might not be the person he was from the past, but he was the one who scarred me, and I will stay away from anyone who will betray me just like in the past.
It would be a nightmare that I could never forget. And I promise... that I will use that nightmare to my advantage to live again with no regrets.
"Rose? What are you thinking of?" My father asked me as he stood next to me facing an exquisite view of the full moon in the night sky.
"I was just wondering how the moon shines so bright in the eternal darkness." I half-lied, half curious about what I just said. "It must seem so lonely without its companion stars around it. Yet, it's so bright, filled with hope and happiness." I say with bitterness in my voice.
"The world is cruel and dark, My Rose." My father replies sensing the bitterness in my voice.
"Hmm. I know that," I say quietly. "It feels so lonely,"
"Remember, even if you ever feel lonely, even if you ever feel like the night sky is alone, look up at the moon. Remember that wherever you are, your mother, your nanny, and I will always look upon you," he says.
I smile with a small smile on my face, biting my lips. I now had to take my happiness and make it as bright as the moon.
I will never look back. No Regrets.
"Father, even if the world hates me, even if the night skies are dark and dim, promise me- will you never leave my side?" I ask him quietly.
"I cannot dream of that day, My Rose,"
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