The Villain Ceased To Exist

LV 5

Vladarius

So, I managed to reach the latest chapter (Chp 27). Now that i got to the latest update I wish to tell my grievances towards the novel. Writing quality 3*. Overall, its decent, but there are a few issues i would like to talk about, and they are: -The paragraphs and sentences. I would like to say that the biggest issue with the paragraphs and sentences are how they keep being split up into 1 or less sentences even while it's a monologue (thinking) or exposition. By that i mean that most, and not all the writing is done that way, but it can be distracting. I advise that they be connected at least until 2 to 3 lines are written out without creating space between the sentences or paragraphs. This will create a thicker paragraph, but also inducing confidence in your writing, and showing the readers that you can deliver an intriguing plot without relying on too many spaces between paragraphs. -The comma and forceful splicing of sentences. I have already explained this to the author, so im not going to bother explaining once again. -The amount of Exposition and monologue. This is a pretty big issue if it gets out of hand and goes on further than a hundred chapters. Creating a balance between Dialogue, monologue, and exposition is very crucial to creating an extremely good foundation for your story. It's because by creating the balance that you can finally begin creating a concise and very good plot, and it's going to be very useful because if you're focusing on mystery or psychology. You will need a concise plot. If there is too much exposition the audience will get bored, and if there is too much monologue the main character is going to spoon-feed us everything you write. Which is bad because that creates a situation called "show don't tell". Simply put the main character just by thinking is going to give us every piece of info we need, and which we could have found out ourselves through the actions of other characters, or the actions of the main character. And if there is too much Dialogue then the same issue of "show don't tell" comes back. Creating situations where one character gives us every info we need about an arc or other things literally spoon-feeding the reader information the author could have simply shown later on. Maintaining the balance creates a relationship which becomes dynamic enough where you simply have to follow the plot without getting too sidetracked in exposition, monologues, or dialogues, and still get an exciting mystery, or intriguing plot points. I can give you an example of how to combine them all neatly to get an intriguing and very nice character development. (John walks through the hallway of the dilapidated inn slowly inching his way towards the most conspicuous door, but his nose picks up the smell of blood and burned chemicals. 'I wonder what Daniel is up to at this hour.' John thought while opening the door where the smoke was dissipating from. "Close the door!!" A meek and agitated voice could be heard, quickly closing the door behind him he starts coughing as the smoke covered most of the ceiling. "Cough, What in Arias name are you doing, Daniel!?" John lowers his head under the smoke only to see two skinny and hairy legs peek at him. Frowning John dashes to the window and opens it letting the smoke disperse. After a minute John has now a clear sight of a man in his mid-thirties with goggles and a mask on while half naked with his dirty undies shown. "In Arias blight! Why aren't you wearing pants!?" John inquired with trepidation shown all over his face and a sigh escaping him. "You know what? Never mind."Before Daniel could reply John threw a bag of unknown materials at his half naked friend. "Thanks John, Appreciate your help!" Daniel exclaimed with a bright smile and put his mask back on while taking out a bunch of weird materials, and John simply let out a sigh and silently left. *BOOOOOOOOOM* A huge explosion could be heard as John looked up and let out an exasperated sigh. Meanwhile, John was expecting some guardsmen to appear, but only to be disappointed that no one even cared about it, but only the children who laughed whenever Daniel opened the window to get some fresh air.) This is simply just an example. We use exposition to create the setting, monologue to point out a trait or characteristic of someone, and dialogue with exposition to show us the relationship through action. Not through words spoken between each other. And lastly, we use exposition to show that people are already used to Daniel creating explosions daily. Closing the side event of sorts which shows us. Where Daniel lives and his character, how he treats his friends, and how much he trains or goes through. We already learned so much just from 280 words. Isn't that amazing? Either way most of my issues stem from Writing Quality. Stability of updates 5* Good. Story development 4* Its good, and I am invested in the story somewhat. Character Design 4* The characters all seem pretty 3 dimensional, and mostly the main character, but it wouldn't hurt to characterize your other side characters more. World Background 5* Yeah you like to exposition and monologue a lot, and so we got a pretty rich background considering it's only been 27 chapters. Overall, 4.2*

LV 2

Giga_Weeb

Very well written. Coherent power system without plot holes and good characters. Characters have high triple digit IQ's so you know the author isn't dumb, since you can't write characters smarter than yourself without tons of effort etc.

LV 12

DaoistBoTDEK

its till quite early on currently ch9 but the potential is huge with already interesting and well written character, world and great story setup so far.Only drawback is the lack of more frequent updates.

LV 4

Darkwolf280

I have yet to start reading but I like the synopsis so yeah 5 star. but if I don't like the story then sorry. but I really wish the mc isn't half assed and a total brat.

LV 1

Wuso

interesting story, I like that the MC is a mentalist, I can tell from the cover that he will lose weight and become handsome (I love when an MC from Zhirnov becomes slender with his own efforts!), the development of the plot is well ... in some places the pace is slow, for example, the last chapters and in chapters with Aleshiei are fast, but I don’t complain anyway, she infuriates me. in general, I really liked it !!

LV 13

R0Y

certainly a hidden gem without attention it clearly balances logic for every event and has great content development. Hope the author can continue this book without getting any troubles and gain our love and trust 💕☺️. without Edison *bulb* there's no world like that without the novel there's no connection between the readers and authors . I hope I can understand you through your continued working . with all my support good luck.

LV 3

law_of_lowkey

is this harem? .............................................................................................................................................

LV 3

Sinnermann

its the greatest novel and the worst in same time and its stop a very important part

LV 1

Aaron_Aguilera_2568

the author kidnapped me to put this...........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

LV 14

Kw0z

To be honest, it’s really boring, especially since he has to lose weight, and it details useles things, but I’ll still review it positively, I guess…

LV 1

Carol_Santos_Souza

Muito bom a novel até o momento, não tenho o que reclamar, o fato do protagonista se manipulador, é muito incrível, particularmente adoro protagonista desse tipo, estou ansiosa para os próximos capítulos.

LV 1

WorthyAdversary

So, first off, this is an amazing novel for the story, just wanted to get that out. Now, onto the real stuff, first is writing quality, which, honestly, is a little bit subpar compared to other novels on Webnovel. Like, there are just a lot of spelling and grammar mistakes that can just be fixed with a quick proofread or by putting it into an AI, and I think that this just really takes away from the experience. So, I had to give this a 3 star, just cause I'm such a stickler for grammar. Second is the stability of updates, which I think is just okay. The author updates about once every two days and recently went on a big break, and well, this obviously isn't a good thing if you want to get favored by the Webnovel algorithm. So, yeah, a solid 4. Now, onto the things that are exceptional. First is the story development, which I think, is just, absolutely freaking amazing. Like, the pacing is great and it keeps you scrolling. And, the author does end on cliffhangers, but they're never too harsh, making it so that we don't hate the author every time a chapter is published. It's a pretty good psychological model that the author is writing on. Now, onto the second exceptional part about this novel, and that's the character design. It's really nice to see a novel have characters that feel extremely realistic, and also, each character has their own design, and that just makes it seem like the real world. The MC is also exceptional, with the fact that he's a mentalist, it's extremely hard to write his character and his actions and make them believable, but somehow, the author was able to successfully do it. An amazing job author! Finally is the world background, which is a solid 4 stars right now. This is due to the fact that it's a really generic world right now and there hasn't been any uniqueness in the world yet. I'll be waiting for your added uniqueness author. Overall, a novel that I would definitely recommend to another reader as a novel that is currently rising. Good work author and continue writing (cause I'm waiting...)!