Chapter 85: Chapter 85. Insight into oneself
Unfortunately, no matter how much he tried to distract himself, the story of the Trost family would echo in the back of his mind.
A strange feeling of disgust crept up from the hidden corners of his consciousness, unwilling to let him forget.
It was so intense and unrelenting that his stomach was churning violently, forcing him to dry heave.
'Deep breaths! Deep breaths! Fuck! Why is it happening here as well!?'
Angry and feeling unwell, Michael headed toward the Sleepy Peaks Inn. All his desire to see Helen melted into a pool of viscous negative feelings, continuously assaulting his psyche.
He wobbled unsteadily through the streets of Kyovashad, not realizing he had strayed from the usual route he would take.
'In the end... I can't seem to get rid of it...'
[You - Wanderer! I know what you are!](?)
"..."
Raising his head from the paved ground, he saw a Monk looking disdainfully at him.
Repressing the negative and violent feelings stirring within him, the Necromancer stopped in front of the man.
"What is it, priest? Who are you, and what do you want?"
[I'm Voszalko. I know what you are.](Voszalko)
"Can you stop speaking stupidly and in riddles? Talk properly!"
[Haha. Iosef told me. He told me about Nevesk, about the blood, about your vision. You think you were saved...](Voszalko)
Michael's eyebrows scrunched up while his hands balled up into fists.
This shitty Monk was seriously pushing his luck!
[*Spits* Fool! A demon's blood is alive! It will eat you from within until all remains is her.](Voszalko)
Taking a deep breath, the Necromancer controlled his emotion to the best of his capabilities, barely squeezing out a growl in response.
"...and!?"
[Tsk! Go to Nevesk. Go! You will see the truth there.](Voszalko)
Watching the back of the leaving Monk, Michael endured the anger clouding his vision and reason and kept heading toward the Inn.
When he finally reached the Inn, a Quest window appeared, informing him of a newly accepted Side Quest.
[ Side Quest issued - Blood of the Mother
Objective: Meet Voszalko in Nevesk. ]
Grunting and dismissing the interface with a wave of his hands, Michael removed his fighting equipment and changed into more comfortable clothes.
The events of today kept replaying in his mind, disturbing the fake peace thought he had.
"On Earth or here, humans remain the same disgusting creatures..."
Shaking his head in contempt, Michael was once more put face to face with the fact that he was a stranger to this world, just as he was a stranger to his old one.
"In the end, it's the same feeling of estrangement. No matter how much I pretend, I'll always know the truth..."
Back on Earth, he experienced a similar yet more prolonged suffering because of this.
It was always there in the back of his mind, even throughout his childhood. It appeared in the form of strong reasoning, always pouring down cold water on any type of emotion he experienced.
Afraid to be noticed by the other children and ostracized, he learned to act by reading the emotions of the other children around him and simulating them.
By the time he reached 18, he had already gone through high school, and nobody noticed anything wrong. Maybe he was only slightly more of a recluse, but just the right amount, so it wouldn't create suspicions.
Unfortunately, after he has repeatedly done this through college, he realized that he unknowingly started compartmentalizing everything.
"Urgh..."
Feeling his stomach churning out of control, Michael fell over in front of the chamber pot and began retching violently.
Fortunately, the 'chamber pot' was a bucket of sorts and was enchanted with magic, making it clean. Otherwise, after stuffing his face in it, the young Necromancer might find himself passing out from disgust.
After almost ten minutes of dry heaving, he rested with his back, leaning on the bed while allowing the cold floor to restore his frail mental sanity.
"*Sigh* So fucking fucked up..."
Michael looked through the window in a daze, unaware of the passage of time.
When he came to it, it was already nighttime. Furthermore, someone was knocking on his door.
Getting up with the few strands of strength left in him, he opened the door and saw a worried Helen.
He smiled wrily and let her inside. As she stood in silence on his bed, Michael recovered just about enough of his social awareness to get a Cleaning Marble out of his Inventory and crush it.
[I heard from the guards about Vendral and his child...](Helen)
"Mhm."
[I hope you won't blame yourself. Corik was long gone by the time you reached the Black Asylum.](Helen)
"I know."
[You...](Helen)
Seeing her pretty eyebrows frown in concern, Michael's heart relaxed slightly. He sat beside her on the bed and kicked the empty 'chamber pot' under the bed.
"I'm not made out of glass, Helen. I also grew up seeing the worst sides of human nature, so this is nothing new to me. I just need a bit of time to get it out of my system."
[...okay.](Helen)
Enjoying each other's presence, the couple lay on the bed for a while. When their clothes fell, they got closer and felt each other's temperature through their touching skins.
For both, it didn't feel like a normal sex session. For Helen, it felt much more intimate, as if the distance between her and Michael reduced considerably.
As for the disturbed Necromancer, it felt like a cleansing. Deep in the night, looking at the sleeping woman, many things became clear to him.
Gently getting out of bed in order not to wake her up, Michael walked toward the large mirror placed by the window.
With only some light from the shining moon and the glowing lamps in the city, the naked young man carefully inspected his visage.
It wasn't strange that the person he saw in the mirror wasn't him. Actually, to say it wasn't him wasn't correct, either.
Dressed in comfortable clothes displaying Earth's brands, his reflection in the mirror stared back calmly at him.
[You're slipping again.](?)
'Mhm.'
[Why? It's not like you're lacking anything here.](?)
'That's true.'
[Isn't it all that I ever wanted? Adventure, Quests, monsters, beauties... it's a dream come true.](?)
'Yet, something's missing.'
[It's your mentality. It's the same. You're compartmentalizing again. Why?](?)
'I'm... not sure.'
[Do you dislike it here?](?)
'No. Like you said, it's a world with a system. I've read about this and imagined myself living in such a place thousands of times before.'
[System, huh?](?)
'What?'
[You're still differentiating between the system and the Sanctuary. Now, it makes sense.](?)
'I see. I'm still a stranger...'
[Not necessarily. You're just seeing yourself that way. You still haven't accepted the new world, even if it already accepted you.](?)
Seeing his reflection in the mirror look behind him on the bed where Helen was sleeping, Michael nodded.
Did the Sanctuary reject him? It didn't. On the contrary, it went as far as to offer him preferential treatment since it was in dire need of help. Even from a newbie such as himself.
Did the people of this world reject him? They didn't either. Just like back on Earth, there were people. That's it — no more, no less.
[Get it together. You're slipping again.](?)
'Can't help it. Over 20 years of bad habits will do that to you.'
[She deserves better. And more.](?)
'I know. But, I want to try.'
His reflection in the mirror frowned and looked at him thoughtfully.
[I tried that before. It didn't end well for the woman.](?)
'I remember. But this time, it's different. You should be able to see that.'
[Up to you then. Just don't fuck it up. Get it together! It's a new world with different rules. Stop clinging to a past you can no longer interact with.](?)
'Mhm.'
Cracks formed on Michael's reflection in the mirror as it raised an eyebrow in surprise.
[Looks like it's time. Tsk, tsk, tsk! I'm a bit jealous of that white hair.](?)
'Hmm? White?'
[Yeah. Seems like it's time for me to leave. I'm not going to repeat what I've already said before. We got our shot to experience what we only dreamt of. Take advantage of it.](?)
'I know.'
[*Snicker* White makes more sense after all.](?)
'Why so?'
[Gray can't represent death, now, can it? Grey is the middle ground between black and white, two non-colors. Black absorbs light particles, so strangely enough, it should represent life. White repels light, so it has a slightly better chance at representing death, don't you think?](?)
'You're bullshiting again...'
The cracks in the 'old Michael from Earth' continued spreading, making shards of skin fall to the floor. In its place stood a new person, different from either persona.
White hair almost shining brightly because of the moon's gentle but cold rays of light, a pair of deep brown eyes with a tente of black, and a beautiful pale-white skin that any woman back on Earth would be jealous of.
'...but I have to agree. White looks better indeed.'
There was no other answer to receive, nor there was a reason for one anymore.
The tattoos on his body were strangely glowing as well, looking more mysterious than before. Unfortunately, he lacked a mentor of the same Class as him, so he had no idea what all of this meant.
Taking a deep breath, he inspected his new 'self' in the mirror as a pair of hands coiled around his chest.
[Congratulations on your first enlightenment!](Helen)
Hearing her excited tone of voice and feeling the warmth of her skin pressing on his, Michael smiled and brought her on his lap as they stood naked in front of the mirror.
Helen was a bit shy and didn't dare look into the mirror, but sighed in relief when she realized he wasn't up to his usual mischief again.
With his hands around her waist, he kissed her plump lips and enjoyed her natural fragrance. It was very calming.
"What's this enlightenment?"
[Exactly what you're thinking of. It's a unique insight a Wanderer has on something. It can be the world, their Class, or even...](Helen)
"Themselves."
[Yes. Yours was like that, it seems. But in a more comprehensive manner since it affected your Class tattoos as well. In short, only you know what you've gained.](Helen)
Seeing her shrugging shoulders, Michael smiled helplessly as he rose to his feet with her in his arms.
"What are the gains like, usually?"
[Nothing fancy like attributes or new skills. It's a more in-depth understanding of whatever you received enlightenment in. It might be that, and only that.](Helen)
"I see. That's enough, then."
[Mhm. I've heard that it's something needed for the 4th Class Awakening. Maybe... Hey!](Helen)
Her squeal would've certainly woken up the neighbors if not for the soundproofing spell used before.
As for the reason... it was most likely due to a certain Necromancer's hands naughtily reaching for her buttocks.
In the end, they fought for another twenty rounds until they both fell asleep due to exhaustion.
By the time Michael woke up, he realized that it should be early afternoon already, judging by the sun's position. Quite annoyed at having to use such a primitive method, he decided to take Helen and buy a pocket watch today.
'It's just that... spending 6,000 gold coins on a watch seems a bit ridiculous.'
The girls explained that it was due to the complicated work that needed to be done on it and the rare magic stones needed to create one. Furthermore, it was quite fragile as well, so most Wanderers wouldn't spend coins on it, only to have it damaged in the first fight they get in or by dropping it on the ground by mistake.
A thunderous rumble echoed through the silent room, drawing a giggle from Helen.
[Someone's hungry.](Helen)
"Well... the last time I ate was yesterday morning, so it's to be expected. Let's go grab some food and then walk around the city."
[Hmpf. Is that how you ask a lady on a date?](Helen)
Michael rolled his eyes at the charming tigress and slapped her but fiercely, drawing a loud gasp.
Unresigned and not convinced, Helen fought back, and Michael had to put in more effort to subdue the tigress once more.
Another hour passed by the time she was finally satisfied, making the Necromancer curse at the stupid folk, believing that harems are easy to maintain.
Look at him! He only had one woman to take care of, and she took THIS much effort! Such plight! Such burden!
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