Traveling The Multiverse (Worm CYOA v1)

LV 2

Kris_Bocox_71854

Sighs. I enjoyed the start. I'm sort of mixed that you seemed to drop him into a HP world back in time rather than straight into worm as he should have been. I don't mind him hopping around, gaining abilities and all that. It was just sort of annoying that you didn't start him out in the US in Worm. Nothing that wrong with it. I was more expecting you to have fused the settings and you are just back in time in a HP/Worm setting. That would work fine. When you were talking cousin Frank, that's Harry's dad era. I don't really blame you for not really wanting to stick around there for the long haul. I'm sort of irked that you didn't really introduce us to your new family and spend a few weeks preparing basic powers and all that. With K, you can basically return a few seconds/minutes after you have left. Time travel is part of this one. I'm disappointed that you've yet to put 10 charges into HP magic and wandless magic. You were tossing in charges for reality warping. Isn't that exactly what magic is? Sighs. You don't really present your choices very well for where you are going. You say that you don't want to travel to an OP setting with lots of supernatural stuff. Every damn setting that you list has tons of that stuff around and showing up regularly at Earth. I'd have advised spending 10 charges on full blown magic immunity or anti-magic fields. You might want both II and PMs for them. If you are in such a rush to go adventuring, you should do the basics for that sort of package. Durability, Stamina, Agility, Inventory, and autoloot. Also something like a gamer loot for defeating various threats. And a currency counter/ exchange system just sort of built-in. You tossed in a handwave PK power. I don't mind some of it, but you are doing too much results without the little details of preparing and also doing something like a training montage. He needs an age adjusting changer power. That would actually just be like a 1 PM to give him a metamorph ability. Maybe 2-3 if you really want to say he needs more, but that would give him vastly better shifting abilities than N. Tonks ever dreamed of. I think that I'd have liked to see him go through the entire Hogwarts or a private tutor with those powers. Enhanced Learning/Mastery, Speed Reading, and Perfect Memory are a must as well. I'm unsure why you chose Reincarnation rather than SI. If you are just going to run off and adventure, you don't need to have a life/backstory back on Earth Bet or where ever you are starting. In the GoT setting, you are just some OP rich kid that showed up out of nowhere. I'm not so sure why you are attached to that one person in GoT. I haven't read that series and have only encountered it through various ff. I get that you saved her, killed some folks that were going to kill her and then run off with her. That's all great and wonderful. Why should I care about her though? She's like a random damsel out of no where that he leaves his family for to save, but its assumed that we know who you are talking about and why she'd be a good person to save. Cough, portal or teleport power and presto they are where they need to be safe. GoT is one of those fix fic settings that really requires you to be there for decades to really make any good changes. Otherwise, it's a matter of saving your favorite characters from their misfortune. I've been enjoying it for the most part. I'm just not really into your character's motivations for why he is doing anything or where he is starting from. Getting into his head and seeing where he is going isn't working for me. You've been good at just summarizing his various powers at the end there. We don't really need tons of detail on that. I've made a spreadsheets listing II charges per day. They get unwieldly just skiming through them. Some one reading one could see how I was intending for a character to develop, but no one wants to read pages worth of PMs or II. You've been doing good at avoiding that one. After I figured out that you made him a HP wizard, I'd have preferred that you kept him a wizard a tad, or at least taught him various forms of magic and used it as your go to weapon/tool of choice. Give him a wandless PM and something where he has a massive pool of mana and/or rapidly restoring MP regen. You don't really need to go into too many details from that point on.

LV 6

Weirdo

All I can say about this story is, it's a sh1t. First, he got to write a review or we could say, "What do you want in your worm CYOA" form. And he put in all those power in top ten most popular, it's fine since not people will do it also. Then the guy go to Harry Potter world, in James Potter era when he is older than Potter for a year, making him a senior and OC character I think, a Blackmore family. And here, he wake up as 10years old kiddo. At the moment, he got the cliche memories incoming, house elf call to eat, power experimenting for a while, dinner with family and go back to room for more basic resting. Now, here's where it get weird. Without waiting for a few day, accustoming himself in Harry Potter world, testing his power further, see his own limit, how many charge will receive per day, more basic power to protect himself, and weirdest of all, this is right after dinner, the day before he go away... Yes, my friend, he just do 'Zelretch' and go to game of throne. Without any preparation, just some "Pansy, get a tent for me. ",and be done with it.. And this makes me, and everyone mad. Why bother going to Harry Potter world when you would just go away??!! Is it fun to crush people hope?? And even if you could talk no jutsu about you didn't have an ounce of plan to stay in Harry Potter universe, can you at least make amend to the previous host body? I don't know, maybe a "SORRY, YOUR KID IS DEAD ABD I AM TAKING HIS BODY TO GO TRAVELLING LIKE SOME VAMPIRE TROLL"...Or at least, give true clone to replace you. What kind of irresponsible behavior you have to just run away with other people body??!! Shame on you author.. And please, don't throw in the "English is not my first language" sh1t. Your creativity and plot is not in English, and only mention your English is bad when your grammar sucks. Nothing relate to English besides your grammar..