Chapter 36: Chapter 34.
"So, Sirius's trial should be done by now," Lisa commented to Harry who was walking alongside her and lazily shuffling some cards as they walked down the school hallways with Loki perched on Harry's shoulder. "I hope he wins, seemed to me like he had it in the bag."
"I hope he wins too," Harry agreed. "Apparently, he's actually quite rich and I've just remembered that he owes me years of birthday presents." Harry grinned along with Loki.
"Snape looked pissed," Lisa continued. "He really wanted Sirius killed! The man's disturbing!"
"How the hell is that guy a teacher?" Harry frowned just before the three of them turned a corner and nearly bumped into none other than the most hated teacher in Hogwarts, Severus Snape.
"Watch it, Potter!" Snape hissed, glaring down at Harry with malice, looking like he wanted nothing less than to kill Harry and revive him just to repeat the process over and over. "Can't you watch where you're going?! Why don't you wear a pair of glasses like that degenerate father of yours?! Or were you just distracted by that monkey of yours?! Your father had a monkey as well! His name was Sirius Black! A vicious little imbecile that only managed to escape his well-deserved justice because of you!" Snape spat out angrily.
"...And a good morning to you as well." Harry eventually replied, staring at the older man with slightly wider eyes than normal.
"Zip it, Potter!" Snarled Snape. "A hundred points from Gryffindor for your stupidity and another hundred for your attitude!" He growled before he stormed off.
"D...d...does he know that we're not in Gryffindor?" Lisa asked once Snape was gone before gesturing to the Ravenclaw crests on their school uniform.
"I think his rage made him forget," Harry guessed.
"Wait, what the hell?!" Several Gryffindor students blurted out together later that evening as they all stopped by the house points hourglass and saw that their house had lost two hundred points somehow. They were so shocked that they barely noticed several students from the other houses gathering around to see what all the fuss was about.
"What's going on here?" Professor McGonagall demanded to know as she walked over, the sea of students parted to allow her through. Once she stopped and stared at the hourglasses, her jaw dropped slightly upon seeing the sudden drop in points.
Fortunately, everyone was so distracted by the hourglass that they didn't notice Harry, Lisa and Loki standing a small distance away. The trio exchanged looks with each other before deciding to give each other a small nod. They took a step back, then they took another, and another, and another and then they turned and decided to quickly walk away.
"Severus!" They heard her yell just before they decided to walk away just a little faster.
"Hmm, kisses are nice." Harry hummed in-between kisses as Lisa sat on his lap, Harry's right hand was lazily rubbing over her right knee while his left rubbed her mid-back.
"Glad you like it." Lisa smiled before kissing him again. Harry leaned into the kiss, Lisa shifted on his lap to make herself more comfortable, inadvertently causing his right hand to reach closer to a certain spot, causing Harry to pause and stop their make-out session and stare at Lisa.
"Lisa, where's your penis?" Harry stared at her with concern.
"I beg your pardon?" Lisa stared at him with confusion.
"Where is your penis?" Harry repeated as he pulled his hand away. "I accidentally touched there and there was no penis." He stated in a frightened voice.
"I'm a girl," Lisa reminded him.
"Yeah, I know that," Harry rolled his eyes. "But where is your...you know...pee-pee?"
"Girs don't have a pee-pee." Lisa responded.
"Do they not?" Harry blinked.
"What? Did you think we did?"
"Yeah, don't girls just have smaller versions of boy pee-pees?" Harry asked, staring at Lisa who stared at Harry for several long moments.
"Right, let's go to Madam Pomfrey." Lisa decided as she stood up.
"So she can find your pee-pee?" Harry asked as Lisa pulled him up to his feet.
"No, she's going to give you a talk that I'm not qualified enough to give." Lisa sighed before pausing. "Loki," She called, across the room, Loki looked up from the book that he was pretending to read and stared at her with a curious expression on his face. "You're coming too, I'm not going through this twice." She declared.
"So," Professor Flitwick said as he began wrapping up his class. "I want all homework delivered to the front, I am also extraordinarily pleased with your work today, well done all of you. Your next piece of homework is to be delivered to me one week from now, no later than that, I'm expecting you to each write about five different spells we've learnt this year along with their uses and drawbacks. Have a good day class, I do hope that you've all learnt something important today." He was about to leave when suddenly Loki started making several loud noises and hand gestures that caused everyone in the class to look at him. "Ah, what did he say?" Professor Flitwick asked, long past surprised by the intelligence of Harry's monkey.
"He's saying he learnt something." Harry translated.
"Oh, and what would that be?" Professor Flitwick asked curiously, Loki smiled before he quickly made several more noises and hand gestures.
"Ah, well, he said that boys have a penis and girls have a va-guy-na." Harry translated.
"A vagina." Lisa corrected him.
"That's what we said, a va-gee-na." Harry shrugged.
"What's a va-gee-ba?" A male student behind Harry asked.
"A vagina." Lisa corrected.
"Well, my fellow student, a va-gira is what girls have," Harry spoke with the same tone one would expect from an expert.
"A vagina," Lisa repeated. "And don't ask anymore." She told the other students who thankfully for her stayed silent long enough for everyone to leave the class.
"I don't know why you interrupted," Harry said as they walked to their next class. "I was just about to explain how a va-lima works."
"A vagina." Lisa corrected him.
"That's what I said," Harry frowned. "A va-gym-a.
"No, it's called a vagina." Lisa glared at him.
"That's what I said, a van-Oppenheimer."
"You're doing this on purpose, aren't you?" Lisa narrowed her eyes at him.
"A bit," Harry said with a cheeky grin. Lisa stared at him for several seconds, his grin didn't seem to change in the slightest, so she decided to kick him in the shin.
"Hey, Harry, look, the Daily Prophet says that Sirius was freed yesterday!" Lisa said the next morning at breakfast as she along with many others read the newspaper that had arrived.
"Ha, I knew he would get off!" Harry grinned. "I told you he would."
"It was a pretty close thing, according to this," Lisa commented as she continued to read through the paper. "Apparently, they've decided to sentence Peter Pettigrew to the dementors kiss."
"Told you that would happen," Harry replied.
"No, you didn't." Lisa blinked.
"We could spend all day arguing about what I did and did not tell you," Harry said, rolling his eyes. "Just give me the ten galleons." He held his hand out expectantly.
"But we didn't bet." Lisa pointed out.
"We could spend all day arguing about if we bet or not, give me the ten galleons." Harry stared at her expectantly.
"Fine," Lisa sighed before pulling out ten galleons and handing them to Harry.
"Thanks!" Harry smiled brightly at her.
"Oh, and Harry," Lisa spoke up. "Do you remember that today we're going to Hogsmead?" She asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Hmm, yeah," Harry nodded.
"I'll need to buy some stuff, do you mind if I have ten galleons?" She asked hopefully.
"Oh yeah, sure," Harry nodded and handed her the money without thinking.
"Thank you," She smiled before kissing him on the cheek.
"You're welcome!" He smiled brightly. 'Wow, today must be a good day for me,' He thought to himself. 'Sirius is free, I've had a nice breakfast, my girlfriend gave me a kiss and I got ten galleons from her and...ooohhhhhh.' Harry blinked and stared at Lisa who was staring at him with a smug look on her face that told him she had very correctly guessed his thought process. "Well played, you cheeky girl."
"Thanks," She smirked.
"So, what do you want to do now?" Lisa asked as she, Harry and Loki travelled through the streets of Hogsmead.
"I dunno," Harry shrugged. "Maybe we should..." Harry paused and trailed off. "...We should work out what the hell is going on with him." He gestured ahead. Lisa stared where he was gesturing and saw Sirius walking towards them while several large sacks of various colours levitated behind him. Sirius was of course ignoring the way that everybody around him was staring at him.
"Hi, guys! I'm free!" Sirius smiled before pulling Harry into a hug.
"I'm glad to see you, Sirius," Harry hugged him back briefly before letting him go. "But what are you doing here?"
"I came to see you of course!" Sirius laughed. "I knew you'd probably be at Hogsmead so I've been searching around for you."
"That's nice, what's up with the bags?" Harry asked curiously.
"Ah, glad you asked," Sirius grinned. "I've missed out on years of your birthdays and Christmases and so on so I thought I'd make it up to you. Ta-da!" He gestured to the bags behind him.
"Wait a sec, these are all for me?" Harry blinked.
"Yep, and they're only for the first five years I've missed, more will be coming soon." Sirius smiled proudly. Harry blinked again and gaped at Sirius for a few seconds before he turned to Lisa.
"We're going to name one of our kids after him," Harry told her in a tone that said he would not be argued with.
"And then, it took him a good few minutes to realise that I had stuck his shoes to the ground." Sirius laughed as he, Harry, Lisa and Loki walked out of the three broomsticks.
"That actually happened?" Lisa laughed while Harry giggled at Sirius's story.
"Really, really. Cross my heart and hope to die," Sirius grinned. "We very nearly got caught, just about managed to get away with it."
"That is some of the most hilarious stuff I've ever heard," Harry replied. "I...wait, is that Fudge?" Harry blinked when he saw the Minister approaching them.
"Yeah, it is, and who's that with him?" Lisa asked, staring at the portly pink-dressed woman following along with Fudge.
"What the fuck is that?!" Harry blurted out upon seeing the person following Fudge.
"That's Dolores Umbridge, she's basically his personal secretary, be on your best behaviour," Sirius whispered to the two just before Fudge and Umbridge stopped in front of them.
"Ah, Mr Black," Fudge greeted him. "It's a pleasure to see you out and about, ah, and here are young Harry Potter and Lisa Swan."
"Minister," Lisa greeted him politely while Harry gave him a small nod.
"Hello sir," Harry waved at Umbridge.
"I beg your pardon?" Umbridge blinked. "What did you say?"
"I said 'hello sir'," Harry told Umbridge, wondering why that was apparently an issue.
"Right, we'll be off now." Lisa quickly told them, Loki was barely able to nod in agreement before Lisa grabbed Harry by the arm and began dragging him away.
"Sorry about that, kids, you know." Sirius awkwardly spoke up once Harry and Lisa were out of sight.
"Uh...yes, yes, anyway, I'm glad I spotted you." Fudge continued. "It was my hope that you wouldn't mind explaining to me exactly..."
"What the fuck do you mean that that was a woman?!" Harry's incredulous voice was heard by pretty much everyone in the area as it echoed into everyone's ears. "That thing looked like Pennywise, the fucking dancing clown! Was it always a woman?!"
"Ah...is there any chance that we can forget about that?" Sirius asked awkwardly.
"Not likely." Umbridge sniffed.
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