Chapter 7: Chapter 7.
"I've heard that the potion teacher is really strict." Lisa confessed to Harry as they sat in potions class and waited for the teacher along with the other students so they could get on with the first potion lesson. "He also apparently favours Slytherin's and hates Gryffindor's."
"That's not very professional," Harry frowned. "what's his policy on Ravenclaws?"
"Better than Gryffindor's but not as good as Slytherin's."
"That's better than nothing." Harry said just before the door to the class slammed open, Professor Snape walked into the class like he was about to strangle someone, his robes billowing behind him as he did so. He got to the front when he began taking the register.
"Mr Potter," Snape paused when he read Harry's name. "our new celebrity." He said in a mocking voice, several Slytherin's snickered.
"Sir," Harry raised his hand. "if I am the 'new celebrity' then who was the old one?"
"Shut it Potter, five points from Ravenclaw." Snape said, glaring at him before he finished completing the register, he then turned to the rest of the class. "This is first year potions, I must be honest when I say I do not expect much out of you. Potions is an art for the intelligent, patient and generally those with brains. There will be no foolish wand waving, some of you may find it hard to even believe that this is real magic. But the skills you learn in this class are some of the most valuable skills you could learn, assuming you aren't like the usual dunderheads I have to deal with.
I will teach you how to brew fame, bottlevglory, and even... put a stopper...in death." Snape paused to make sure everyone was listening, and they were. "Potter!" Snape said suddenly. "Tell me, what would I get if I added powdered root of asphodel to an infusion of wormwood?" Hermione quickly raised her hand to answer.
"I think it's the draught of living death sir." Harry answered, remembering the answer from the first year book.
"A lucky guess," Snape sneered at him. "Potter, where would you look if I asked you to find a bezoar?" Hermione raised her hand higher, looking desperate for him to chose her.
"Bezoar...bezoar...isn't that the thing that helps people who have been poisoned? Stomach of a goat right?"
"Are you asking? Ten point for not being prepared, didn't think to open a book did you Potter? Clearly fame isn't everything." Snape said, ignoring the fat that Harry was right with his answer. "Now Potter, what is the difference between monkshood and Wolfsbane?" Hermione had actually stood up and thrust her hand as high into the air as she could. "Sit down you silly girl!" Snape snapped at her, causing her to instantly go back into her seat. "Well Potter?" Snape said as his attention went back to Harry.
"Okay, I remember this..." Harry said as he drummed his fingers on the desk. "that's...a trick question right...aren't they the same thing?"
"Cheating now are we Potter?" Snape said, glaring at Harry.
"Sir, he didn't cheat." Lisa said. "He was reading his potions book yesterday evening and he read it today before class."
"Quiet, I did not ask you!" Snape snapped at her before turning to the board, he waved his wand and instructions appeared on the board. "Get to work brats!"
Harry within the one lesson decided that he did not like the class, he also decided that he did not like Snape as the man had not only not instructed them on how to make potions or...anything really, but he was also making life miserable for them. He constantly walked around the room, hovering over people like a ghost. If you were a Slytherin then you'd get the odd compliment, if you weren't then you'd get bad breath on your neck followed by worse insults.
At one point Neville had accidently blown up a cauldron and ended up with boils all over his face, Snape did what any adult and professional would do...shout at him then blame someone else, specifically Harry for not watching Neville's potion even though Harry was on the opposite side of the room. To Snape's credit he at least sent Neville to the hospital wing, though Harry lost what little control he had near the end of the lesson
"Look at this potion." Snape said as he looked at the potion in disgust.
"What...is wrong with my potion professor?" Harry asked in a calm voice. "It's exactly the right shade as the one in the book, the right thickness as well and..."
"Tell me Potter, are you a potions master?" Snape said, cutting him off.
"No sir but..."
"Then do not question my word, it seems to me that your face was not the only thing you inherited from your father, you also apparently inherited his tiny brain." Snape looked like he was about to spit on him but instead chose to move on and ignore the laughing Slytherins.
"Don't say anything more." Lisa whispered to him.
"Oh I won't." Harry whispered back as he saw Snape stand with his back facing towards a snickering Draco Malfoy.
Harry discreetly pulled a knut coin out of his pocket, he chose his target and after a few quick calculations he decided on his course of action. He tossed the coin up and down for a second to get a proper feel of it, he took one of his ingredients and tied it to his coin. He made sure nobody was looking before he flicked his wrist, the coin was sent towards the ground where it bounced off the ground, it landed in Malfoy's potion just before Malfoy put in the next ingredient. Harry looked towards Lisa whose expression told him that she had just seen what happened.
To be honest he'd be surprised if she didn't, seeing as she was right next to him.
"What's going to happen?" She whispered to him.
"We're not going to die if that's what you're worried about."
"What did you do?"
"The instructions said do not add beetle shells at stage two of the potion, guess what stage Malfoy's on." Harry grinned. Seconds later Malfoy's cauldron began shaking.
"Um...sir." Malfoy said, Snape turned around and noticed the potion immediately. He quickly reached out so he could counteract the effects but didn't make it in time, the potion exploded and landed on the faces of Malfoy and Snape, both of whom ended up with boils on their faces.
A small alarm was heard, signalling that the lesson ended at that point and Harry was one of the first out of the door, followed by Lisa.
"I can't believe you did that!" She laughed once they were a far enough distance away.
"Did what?" Harry asked innocently.
"You...you know what, I've forgotten." She said, playing along with him.
"Great, so want to go to the library?"
"Well...it's not like we have anything else to do."
"Yeah, unless..." Harry pulled out a deck of cards. "...you want to pick a card?"
"Library it is.." Lisa said quickly before making her way to the library.
"Lisa," Harry said as he walked after her. "Lisa, Lisa. Lisa. Lisa, pick a card. Pick a card Lisa. They're there for a reason. Pick a card, pick a card Lisa. Lisa. Lisa. Pick a card, pick a card. Pick a card, pick a card. Pick a card. Lisa pick a card. Lisa why are you doing this to me? Pick a card. Pick a card Lisa. Pick a card, pick a card."
This continued for some time until they had sat down in the library.
"Lisa, my cards are waiting to be picked. Pick a card Lisa. Pick a card Lisa. Lisa you know what you can pick? Your nose and these cards but the cards are more hygienic. Pick a card Lisa. Pick it like it owes you money. Pick a card Lisa, Lisa, Lisa. Lisa, Lisa...LIIIISSAAAAAA...Lisa...pick a card...pick a card Lisa. I let you touch my monkey, why don't you let me let you touch my cards? Pick a card Lisa. I will keep going until the day you die if I must. Pick a card Lisa...pick a card."
"Fine!" Lisa said, quickly cutting him off before he could continue. "I will pick a card." She sighed before picking out a random card, it was the ace of spades.
"Memorise it then put it back in the deck," Harry instructed her, once she had done that he began shuffling. "thanks for playing along."
"It's not like you gave me much of a choice." She said but there was no real heat behind it, in fact she rather enjoyed Harry's tricks.
"I didn't force you, you could have said 'no' then I wouldn't have to waste so much effort trying to get you to pick a card." Harry replied before he took out a random card. "Is this your card?" He said as he held up the ace of diamonds.
"No, close though." She said before she opened her book, when it was opened she noticed something in her book. "Okay, I don't really expect an answer...but how?!" She said as she picked up the ace of spades.
..
..
"Oh...bloody...hell." Harry whispered to Lisa as they sat in defence against the dark arts class. "His stutter is going to drive me insane." Lisa nodded in agreement.
The two, like the others in the class, were struggling not to bang their foreheads off their desks. Harry was really looking forward to this class, however he quickly lost his enthusiasm thanks to Professor Quirrell. Harry and Lisa had originally heard that the man used to teach muggle studies before leaving for a while and then returning and become the defence against the dark arts professor after supposedly being involved in a confrontation with a vampire.
Harry doubted that this was true. Not only did the teacher not teach them anything practical but he also stuttered non-stop. That was a problem for multiple reasons, one of which was that it ruined the lesson seeing as they could barely understand him plus it took twice as long to teach.
Also Harry couldn't help but wonder how that would affect the man's magical capabilities, because as far as he could tell the man had to use words for spells just like everybody else so he wondered how that works with a man with a stutter. He also couldn't help but wonder if the man truly fought vampires like he claimed, Harry was no vampire expert but he was pretty sure that they were supposed t be super strong blood sucking monsters and it seemed unlikely that this guy had fought even one. Also weren't there any potions or spells to help him with his stutter?
Plus he could not help but wonder why Dumbledore had Quirrell teaching defence against the dark arts? Apparently the man used to be the muggle studies teacher, so why would Dumbledore take him after he returns from his trip with a stutter and a fear of everyone and everything then put him in teaching the class designed for knowing how to defend yourself. Harry just couldn't understand it.
"You enjoying yourself?" Harry whispered to Loki who was sat on his desk, Loki looked towards Quirrell and listened to him stutter for several seconds before he facepalmed hard. "I agree." Harry yawned.
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