Chapter 17: Chapter 17 - "You Got Mad At Me?"
Jessica stood still for a few minutes, thinking about what she would answer, as she looked out over the abandoned square.
"All right..." Jessica said, walking in with Ethan.
The two of them entered the square and at first glance, the square looked old and seemed to have no one in it. The wooden chairs were a little broken, and I could already see some plants growing at the foot of them. The trees were no longer pruned and many were even dead. It even looked like the setting of a horror movie.
They kept walking further ahead and something caught Jessica's attention, and she walked quickly inside. There was a big tree at the end of the square. It was huge and beautiful, but it looked very old already.
Jessica stopped in front of the tree, looking at it.
"I always wanted to climb on it, when I was little." She said. "I've even broken my leg trying to do that, but I never could." She added, laughing.
Then she sat down in a wooden chair that was beside the tree. Ethan stared at the tree for a few seconds and then followed the girl to the chair, sitting down as well.
"You said you used to come here a lot...why did you stop coming?". Ethan asked, crossing his arms and leaning his back on the chair.
"Oh, my mom used to bring me here a lot, but time went by, and she just stopped...". Jessica said, a little fearfully.
Ethan looked at her, doubting a bit how the girl was saying it.
"Well, she didn't stop out of nowhere... My parents have a lot of problems in their relationship, you know? It seemed like the more I grew up, the more things got bad. So after my dad left, my mom just stopped doing anything with me." Jessica said, discouraged.
Ethan, trying to comfort, said:
"It might be kind of silly, and maybe it won't do any good...but we can come here whenever you want." Ethan said, shyly. "It certainly won't be the same, but you seem to be very happy here. He added, giving her a little smile.
Jessica smiled back and moved closer to Ethan's side.
They stood still for a while in silence, just looking at the landscape.
"You never told me about your parents, what are they like?". Jessica asked. "Like, I know your mom, she seems to be sweet with you... But what about your dad?". She added.
- Fuck! I have literally no information about my father. I could have fucking looked it up! - Ethan thought, in despair.
Ethan couldn't feel any emotion when he tried to remember his own father. He felt love for his own mother when he remembered her, but for his father, it was as if he simply never existed. Maybe he had died when he was little, or Enid simply didn't know who his father was. If he was still alive, Enid would at least ask Ethan to text his father about how things were going, but she never even commented on it.
"It's kind of complicated. I don't remember almost anything about him, in my childhood, to be honest. I remember almost nothing about my dad, and my mom never talks about him to me... I don't even really know what to describe about him." Ethan said, pretending to be sad.
- Please don't ask me if he died. Please don't ask me if he's dead - Ethan kept repeating in his head, not really knowing what to say.
"I understand... Sometimes I wish I didn't remember my father too." Jessica said.
Ethan was a little surprised by her response. He thought the two of them had a good relationship, but the problem was Jessica's parents' relationship. He preferred not to bring it up. The last time he was a bit invasive, Jessica was hurt. He decided to just be quiet and if she wanted to talk, he would be listening.
A few minutes in silence, Jessica said:
"Ethan...did you know it was me that night?".
"Huh? If that's why I ran to help you?" He asked back.
Jessica nodded, looking at him.
"To tell you the truth, I had no idea. I ran to help, because clearly there was something wrong, but when I saw you, my heart raced in a way I can't explain. I was so angry...". Ethan said. "I don't think I've ever felt so much anger before." He added, letting out a small laugh.
"Anger... at me?" Jessica asked, concerned.
Ethan stopped for a few seconds and stared deep into her eyes:
"Of course not, Jes! Why do you think so much that I got angry?". Ethan asked despondently.
"I shouldn't have been there. I was stupid and wanted to go home alone. I thought nothing was going to happen...I shouldn't have been walking alone.". She said, upset.
"What?" Ethan asked, confused.
"If I had gone away with the others, none of this would have happened. I was stupid, I was a dumb idiot." Jessica said, getting annoyed.
"What, Jessica, are you blaming yourself for what happened?" Ethan asked, indignant. "Jessica, nothing is your fault. You didn't do anything!" Ethan said, a little excited.
"Of course I do, Ethan! If I'd stopped trying to do things on my own, this wouldn't have happened.
If I had run more, all this shit wouldn't have happened!". She began to talk loudly and stressfully to Ethan.
"Do you hear what you're saying? It's not your fault!" Ethan turned to her, a little irritated.
"If only I had run more, if only I had stayed with my friends, if only I had stayed quiet at home and obeyed my mother..." She repeated angrily, with tears in her eyes.
Ethan looked at her, startled, realizing that Jessica was starting to freak out.
"...If I had avoided coming in the square that day, none of this shit would have happened.". She added trembling.
Ethan pulled Jessica to his chest and hugged her tightly, letting her just cry on his lap as he stroked her head.
Now everything made sense.
"It's not your fault, none of it is your fault. People are horrible. It's not your fault. I promise it's not your fault.". Ethan repeated, while she just cried like a child, clinging to his chest.
Ethan could feel Jessica's breathing getting calmer by the minute as she listened to his heart beating in his chest.
The afternoon went by, and they continued to cuddle in that abandoned square. Jessica was already quiet, almost asleep on his chest, while he just stroked her head slowly to calm her down.
Suddenly, Jessica's cell phone rang, but she didn't move. She seemed to have dozed off on Ethan's chest. He reached out to grab the phone from her pocket, causing Jessica to settle further into Ethan's chest.
He managed to grab her cell phone from her pocket and saw "Mom" written on it, along with many worried messages about where Jessica was.
Ethan lifted his torso a little, trying to get Jessica to wake up. She stood up, waking up, not understanding what had happened. Ethan handed her the cell phone.
"Your mother is worried." He said. "Sorry to get your cell phone. It kept ringing and you didn't look like you were going to wake up. I was worried it was your mom." He added, a little embarrassed.
"It's okay, I thought it was cute." She said, opening her cell phone to answer her mother. "I need to go home!". She completed getting up.
"It's okay, I'll take you there!". Ethan said, also getting up.
"Oh, it's across the street, I can do it myself!". She said, laughing at the situation that had just happened, her little eyes still puffy.
"I'd rather guarantee it.". He replied, laughing with her.
As they reached the door to Jessica's house, Ethan looked at her with a gentle smile and walked over to give her a kiss on the forehead before she walked in. Then Jessica stood on her tiptoes and gave Ethan a little kiss on the lips, and Ethan felt his heart race. It was sweet and soft, tasting like a strawberry bullet.
"Thank you, Ethan!" She said, then walked into her house, without looking back.
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