Chapter 70: Year Three - Chapter Twenty-One
January had come, the lessons had resumed, and the professor in front of us looked every bit like what I had expected him to be, but I couldn't be sure it was him. It was paranoia at its finest, and my eyes fixed his every movement and motion like a hawk. His sour expression, his twirling glass eye, his slightly hunched body ready to throw the first spell at the slightest occasion, it could be Alastor Moody, and it could be a Death Eater under Polyjuice.
Well, no, it definitely was Alastor Moody. He had been called urgently to fill in, and judging by how his assistant was giving a friendly wave in my general direction and turning her hair bright pink, he apparently brought Nymphadora Tonks along.
"You need to know what you're up against, you need to be prepared!" he snapped with a slight growl as he stared at each of us. "Which of you diabolical little third years would even be able to fight properly if caught unaware? Uh? Which of you bags of sniveling slugs in human skin would-"
I heard a tender Hufflepuff sniffle ever so slightly. If he was this harsh on us, what about the poor First Years? Those little creatures of cuteness and justice would probably suffer incredible trauma at his hands.
"The battlefield is a lurking cesspool of spells, constant vigilance will see you survive it, but dillydallying and overthinking will lead to your demise and your death! I have seen curses tear in half wizards twice your size and-"
A Ravenclaw began to turn green somewhere in the back.
Amanda's eyes gleamed. I shuddered. "You are prohibited from becoming an Auror, Amanda," I hissed in her direction. "You'd charge head-first into the curses," I added as she turned to look at me with a frown. "And my hair whitens enough when you play Quidditch."
"That's unfair you worrywart," she muttered back, "The job sounds so cool." She raised a hand, much to Alastor's sudden annoyance. "Professor! Do you get to fly broomsticks under enemy fire as an Auror?"
Professor Moody's lips twitched in an ugly smile. "That may happen! Dark Wizards and Witches will use charms to befuddle the scrying on their lairs, and so nothing like good old broom reconnaissance will bring them out. That, in turn, means that they will cast dangerous curses up in the air against you, and sometimes you might not even see them coming! That's why you need reflexes-"
The spell departed before I could even see it. The wand had literally twitched the slightest bit in Alastor's hand. I hadn't even seen him grab it. I hadn't even seen him bring it up. One second he was wandless, the next he had his wand in hand, and the very next one a spell had left and sailed in the air towards Amanda.
Whatever the spell was, it probably wasn't lethal.
Amanda ducked beneath the desk as it sailed past her, and my right hand caught it before it could strike straight into Wayne's wide-eyed face. I quietly hissed as the stinging jinx began to make my hand throb. "Nice catch, might want to use a wand next time," Alastor growled, somewhat pleased. "Constant Vigilance, students, means that you may never know when someone will attack you! Remember it! A single spell is all that it takes to lead you to your doom! Had that been an organ-shattering curse, Mister Umbrus over there would be dead or dying!"
I grunted as I dropped my swelling hand on the desk's surface. The swelling would disappear soon enough, but until then my right hand would be useless.
"When in doubt, summon your wand to your side! If you can't even do that, then you'll be dead before long! You have until the count of four to get your wand into your hand! Sometimes, even less! And then, you need a Counter-Charm ready! Remember the word ICE. Identify, Counter, Expelliarmus!" he slammed a spell straight into another student's chest, sending his wand to sail in the air and twirl for a bit.
The student remained unscathed at its seat. The wand rolling on the ground until Nymphadora grabbed hold of it, and then gave it back.
"A wizard without a wand is like a baby! A dead or dying baby! And you lot-"
Megan tapped me in the back, and as I neared my head without actually losing sight of Alastor, she whispered in my ear. "I want that werewolf professor back," she whispered, her voice slightly cringing.
"Me too," I agreed. "At least professor Lupin wouldn't be dangerous more than once in a full moon-"
Another bolt of red light sailed in my direction. I clenched my left hand's fist, and the desk in front of me rose to intercept the incoming blow. There was a ruckus, the desk trembled and nearly fell against me, but it held and the spell failed.
"Good!" Alastor grunted. "Reflexes! Constant Vigilance!"
Was he a broken disk or something?
As it turned out, we were the lucky ones.
After the lesson, I nearly collapsed like an invertebrate slug against the cool surface of the library table, and closed my eyes. There was homework to be done. There was a lot of homework to be done. That man wasn't normal. That man clearly wasn't normal. Listen, Defense Against the Dark Arts Jinx, let's make a deal. I won't try to destroy you any longer, but please in return, stop trying to get me killed. All right? We can have a truce, can we?
"Shade, are you all right? Does the hand still hurt?" Wayne asked in a hushed whisper by my side.
"I want to die," I muttered with a dreadful sigh. "I want to die."
"You need chocolate," Wayne acquiesced wisely. "I'd give you some, but I fear Madam Pince would kill me."
I turned to look at Wayne, while resting my head on the table. "Hey, Wayne," I whispered. "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
"I'm already grown up," Wayne grumbled, "I'm fourteen," he added, sounding pleased with himself. "I want to open up a chocolate shop. Make chocolate cakes, chocolate fudges, chocolate puddings, chocolate-"
"You will be the bane of all dentists in the world, or their most cherished hero," I remarked with a small grin. I sighed and lifted my head from the cool surface of the library's table.
"I want to be a potions master," Megan said as if answering an unspoken question sent her way.
"Oh, I want to be a professional Quidditch player and Part-Time Auror," Amanda said instead, cheekily grinning. "Then Shade and I can be buddy Aurors and kick ass, take names, and have incredible adventures!" as she said that, I raised both of my eyebrows.
"What," I mouthed. "I don't want to be an Auror." All of my friends looked at me, and scoffed, rolled their eyes, and shook their heads. Oi, since when did you join together in a single hivemind-gestalt consciousness? Don't look at me like that! I don't want to risk my life unnecessarily! "I want to build myself an island somewhere quiet and use magic to live the most beautiful, peaceful life ever until I die of boredom or old age." While secretly experimenting with the wonders of magical spell theory and creation.
"Shade," Megan said with a twitch of her lips. "You'd sign to be an Auror the next day."
I pouted.
I definitely wouldn't.
They underestimated my laziness, these friends of mine.
I was the Laziness, after all...
...And it was treason, then, what my silly friends did.
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