What a Cliche adventure Chapter 3

I turn my head towards the beautiful elf sitting on my lap and gently kiss her lips. I mean how could I not just go and kiss someone sleeping so cutely on my lap? It's fucking adorable.

She then asks me a question while waking up slightly and yawning "Are you happy that you came to this world your Majesty?"

I smirk as I think of my answer. I have a adorably gorgeous blonde elf woman with amazing breasts sitting on my lap while I sit on a throne in the country I created. What more could a man want?

Well maybe more women... but I won't tell her that because I never really got the whole harem thing.

Maybe guy's just liked it because the girls would just fall all over the MC without him even really doing anything. Or having a personality for that matter.

When I go to answer her smiling face though, I am interrupted by a piercing noise coming from my side.

*ring ring ring*

I look around for it but I can't find it. Where the hell is this noise coming from? It sounds like an old school rotary phone with how it's ringing. Wait could it be maybe I'm dreaming? I pinch myself and the throne and Elf woman disappear and the background is replaced with a dark void.

Because I had nothing to orient or stand on I jolted awake from the feeling of falling I had. I blame that DiCaprio movie.

I wake up groggily and terrified. Fuck, it was a dream. Why can't I be at that point already. Isn't there something I can do? Not like an anime or a cut-scene where if I don't like the part I can still skip it.

I look around for a bit and see that I am not on solid ground, I am in fact hanging about 20 feet above the ground. Lovely. I look upward and see that my parachute is in fact caught on the tree above.

Well shit. Why did I just fall asleep like this? Did I just decide not to deal with it or did I get knocked out?

Well this won't a fun situation to get out of. Not to mention that I took 4 points of damage from who knows what so now my health is even lower now.

Right after yawning again I can hear my phone start ringing again, I answer it while in my tired stupor, "John here. Currently suspended 20 feet in the air."

"Haha, hey John, how ya' doin' there bud?"

I know that voice, it's that asshole Kami-sama. I respond to him with contempt buried in my voice, "So was it your bright idea to give me the quest <Survive> after dropping me off in the sky? Or was it an accident?"

"Ah, heh. I thought that would be a great quest name since I loved that ending. Man it made me sad." This bastard isn't remorseful at all.

"Welp, either it being an accident or on purpose though, I felt you would survive. I will say though, after you got caught on a tree I realized that you knew quite a few curse words I don't even know, and I play games online AND I am God, so that's quite an achievement for you. Well regardless, as congratulations for surviving you get a status point and a skill! Whoopie!"

He is way too carefree. Also since he knew I would survive that means he knew I would fall? Bastard.

[Skill [Inventory Auto-Organization]Acquired]

[<Status point> Acquired]

I sigh.

Kami-sama starts talking again,"Well I'll leave you to get down now. I'll give you the next quest once you get to the ground. Also, last bit of advice, don't fall from here, with your current max HP you wouldn't be able to survive." He then ends the call.

Well shit, another quest already. I guess it kinda is the tutorial after all.

Well while I hang out here I may as well go and see what I can do with that new skill.

I open up my inventory and it asks me to set up parameters for organization in a pop up box, neat. I always approve of a way of being lazy, especially if it doesn't really have a downside.

Uh, X, if I tell you the parameters think you can do this for me?

'Certainly'

Well I guess first set the categories to stuff from my world and stuff from this world. Then maybe separate it by what type it is? Like Food I brought goes into food in my world folder, and raw materials I brought go into raw materials into my world folder.

'Setting parameters… and set. If any adjustments are needed inform me of the contents and I shall execute them'

Thanks.

I open the inventory again and it is no longer filled with a bunch of stuff in random order, it now has just 2 folders in it.

I 'click' (mentally choose?) on the 'My World' and see there are several different folders with various different names. I go to the one labeled weapons and see that inside of that they are separated even further into categories, like melee and ranged, it even goes further with the organization.

Jesus christ, x is efficient.

This is a pretty sweet skill though, not gonna lie. Especially for someone as unorganized and lazy as me.

I go to the melee and then blade section and pull out a pocket knife that I will use to help me get down in a little bit.

Oh, right the status point I got as well. I go to the status screen and all the status numbers have plus signs by them, uhh what build should I go for and what does each thing govern.

Shit. X help me out.

'Unable to determine what each status does, experimentation is required for further knowledge.'

God dammit. Well I guess I should pick one that looks good. I guess [Dexterity]? If it's like games in the other world then this should help me get down… right? Well one way to find out, Apply the point to [Dexterity] please!

Wait why did I ask it... I can just use the plus sign. Whatever, it's more iconic for a first time to do it this way. Not gonna do it again though since it's weird.

[Status [Dexterity] Increased to 6]

Neat. Well next step is getting down.

So, I'm not really by any trees so I can't just climb down one of those. I'm kinda just in the middle of a small clearing.

I sigh again, why did I have to land here? Why not plains or even the damn snow. I brought snow clothing with me so it's not like I'd freeze to death.

This is such a troublesome spot, but I guess I can cut one side of the parachutes strings and hope for the best like I thought a bit ago when I grabbed the knife.

I open the pocket knife and trim away at the strings, after cutting two of them I feel the parachute lurch downward slightly. Well I guess I should mention this right now but don't try this at home kids, leave it to dumbasses like me.

I cut another one and I descend roughly 2 feet, still dangerous but at least slightly less.

I cut another string and go down 4 more feet, I can also see that this parachute will not fare well for much longer. It's slowly starting to tear, gotta hurry this up a bit.

I chop one last time and hope I don't just send myself straight to the ground. I brace myself as I descend 4 more feet, way faster than I did last time and I bounce at the end which makes the parachute tear even more.

All the strings are quite strained and it's tearing from my weight... this parachute does not have much longer to live. May as well go all the way now with it.

I slice at one of the few remaining strings and it slowly stars lowering me down.

How anticlimactic.

"WAIT! SHIT! NO STOP GRAVITY!" It started making me descend very quickly all of a sudden in the last 7 feet causing me to land on my ass, quite hard.

Like have you ever had those moments where you just want to die? Not from something embarrassing but from being sick. That is how I feel right now.

[[Fear Resistance (Minor)] Level-Up]

[[Fall Resistance(Minor)] Acquired]

… I lost 8 HP from that fall.

I don't think anything is broken though if that's any kind of consolation for myself. Well I don't know, my ass does feel kinda broken.

I just go and lay face down where I landed because I just want to get some of my feeling back.

I feel like fucking death right now, I have 3 out of my 15 HP left and I feel like it.

My phone is ringing again so I begrudgingly answer the phone, "Hello?"

Kami-sama then replied with a lot of enthusiasm "Congratulations on getting down from there alive, not what I would have done, but hey you lived so that's good news. Well anyhow I'll give you a small reward before giving you the next quest, but keep in mind this is the last reward that'll be given to you unless you make me really happy. I doubt that'll happen again though, heh."

My body starts feeling lighter suddenly, when I go to look at my stats my HP has almost fully recovered, it's now at 11/15 HP.

The best news though is my ass is no longer in pain. I am scared to touch it or move though because if I hurt it again just by touching it... I don't even want to imagine it.

Then Kami-Sama starts talking again, "For the next quest there are two steps, first you must defeat a monster" Suddenly a rabbit appears in front of me, but it's fucking huge.

"What did you feed this rabbit kami-sama?" This rabbit is easily 8 feet tall, it's pure white and has bright green eyes.

"This is just a monster of this world, I think you should be able to defeat it" I respond quickly "Wait wait, hold up. This is a monster? It's not an animal?"

Then Kami-sama responds to me "Yup it's a monster, there are very few animals in this world, those that are here are either very expensive or are tamed. Like cows and horse are expensive, but cats and dogs aren't."

"Wait so I can tame this?" I ask quickly.

Kami-sama laughs at my question.

I hope I don't have to talk to him this often each day, I can only stand so much ridicule.

After calming down he answers back in a rather monotone voice "Nope. Because it's supposed to start attacking you in 30 seconds. I'd give it a good punch and kill it before then if I was you because I don't plan on saving you anymore."

Is it just me or did he sound really cold at the end there? Like more cold than usual?

Wait 30 seconds? Shit uhh, RPG, RPG. Think think think. Uhh, Appraisal?

Oh shit, here's the stats for it, appeared like a pop-up window.

Hugo Rabbit

Level 1

Strength: ???

Cunning: ???

Intelligence: ???

Dexterity: ???

Endurance: ???

Luck: ???

Hp: 18/18

SP: ???

MP: ???

Well fuck me, he's got more max health than me.

Uhh, well I have about 20 seconds left so I punch the rabbit in the leg and then kick it.

I feel so powerless because I have like no form. The only time I've fought was back in middle school and someone was hitting the girl I liked. I got my ass handed to me by him and his friends and she never talked to me after that.

Dammit Cynthia.

I look at it's HP and it only decreased by one.

Welp.

I keep punching and kicking the rabbit with the 15 or so seconds I have left.

[Skill [Unarmed Fighting (Novice)] Acquired]

It's HP it at 9 finally but my stamina is equally low at 5, I even took another point of damage because I was using my body as a weapon.

Well I have 5 seconds left now, oh that's right I have that pocket knife still on me!

I reach into my pocket and flip it out before I stab it into the rabbit's right leg.

I can't help but realize how much of a dumbass I am for not using the knife earlier, well on the bright side I got a skill from fighting with my fists, right?

Right?

Okay, I guess it doesn't make me seem any smarter. This dagger isn't doing much to it either though so I stab it about 4 times in around the same area.

[Skill [Dagger Handling (Novice)] Acquired]

Well those 4 stabs I got into the rabbit each did 2 points of damage so that's helpful not helpful enough though.

The rabbit is moving now, this may not seem terrifying on its own because I mean it's a rabbit, BUT THE FUCKING GROUND IS SHAKING

FROM 1. DAMN. FOOTSTEP.

I can't even keep my balance in this situation and end up falling on my poor ass.

This god is just torturing me left and right down here, and I thought he was super nice when we were back in my world, it was just a facade to get me here apparently.

The rabbit looked at me and then hopped high above the tree lines, it's hop had such force that the sudden burst of wind sent me back a couple feet.

Realizing that I used up my chance at winning so I make the smart move "RUN. I NEED A HOLY HAND GRENADE FOR THIS MONSTER.

After running for about 5 minutes like a true man would I lean against a tree to catch my breath, my SP being at 2 right now isn't fun at all.

I run out of stamina so quickly that I can't run for that long at all. Then again it wasn't like I could run all that much back in my world.

Well I think I lost it now at least. Or it ran away, I mean it did have 1 HP left so a reasonable being would run away.

Wait shit that was a flag that I haven't lost it wasn't it?

I look at my map and see that there is a red dot approaching quite quickly...

Fuck you god. Just. Fuck you.

I dive to the ground at the side quickly and the rabbit absolutely squashes the tree I was hiding behind... Now I know why they are called monsters.

Then the beast does something absolutely absurd!

It tilts its head and twitches its nose.

This demon won't trick me with cuteness! "I AM IMMUNE TO YOUR PETTY TRICKS"

Wait... I said that out loud, quite loud actually. Shit.

The rabbit looks like it understood me I think because it doesn't look cute anymore, it has fangs like a carnivore.

Wait is this thing is a carnivore, world I ask you one question.

WHY ARE YOU RUINING THE CUTE BUNNIES.

I must steel myself so that I may put it out of it's misery, this is a shame to rabbits everywhere and I must purge it from this world.

I try my best to look cool as I stare at it and say "Come at me" as I hold my tiny knife and do a beckoning movement with my left hand. This thing is like a toothpick to it but with 1 HP left on it I have confidence in winning.

I think the rabbit understood that this was basically both of our last stands so it lunges straight at me with a speed that I can barely keep up with. It must be using all of it's remaining strength for this one move.

I jump to the side with the last of my SP because I only have a single point left after that doge and throw the knife to where I was just standing.

[Skill [Throwing (basic)] Acquired]

I got extremely lucky and nailed it. I figured it would stomp right where I was standing, or at least kick it, so I took a gamble, but at least a calculated one.

But man am I bad at math.

I didn't get away unscathed because of where I landed and how much debris the rabbit's gale dragged with it I took 6 damage. Taking a 3 inch wide branch going at least 15 miles an hour hurts when it hits you anywhere, especially your stomach.

[Increase to Level 2]

[Received 11 stat points]

[Received 1 skill point]

Hot damn, the rabbit leveled me up by 1, I'll take it thank you very much. I sure as shit deserve it after almost dying. Bastard.

I walk to the rabbit and see that it definitely is dead. In fact when I appraise it it now just changed part of it's name to Dead.

Being able to see enemy health sure is amazing, never underestimate RPG logic.

Hmm, people eat rabbits, and this guy is quite a big bunny, so I think that this guy will make for some great food later, so I pull my knife out of its side and put it into storage.

I didn't notice this before but the knife barely got it's thigh, if I was a second too late I would be dead and that thought honestly makes me shudder a bit.

Oh well, can't really change it now. I wonder how rabbit tastes anyway, hmm. Oh well I'll eat it later, I am not quite hungry yet and if I am I have plenty of ready made food.

Well time to put those points into some stats. 6 into Luck , 4 more into Dexterity, and 1 into Cunning should be fine.

As for the skill point, I wonder.

I still have the same skills available and I can't spend any to upgrade the skills I have, so I wonder what I should get.

Well I plan on getting party members soon, so [Party Management] it is.

Also, I don't like being called a heretic, so I'll put the nicest sounding name, <Forgiven One>. That should be good.

Oh, hey my cunning went up by another one.

Do all titles do this?

I take off the title and see it goes back to normal, then I put <Crazed One> and my intelligence went down by 3.

That's definitely not a name I will equip, especially from those stat debuffs, so let's put <Forgiven One> back on.

Oh Oh my phone is ringing again.

" Hello?" I answer the phone.

He replies quickly, "Ah see I knew you could do it John. So now for the next part of the quest, you need to clear a dungeon."

Wait what. A dungeon? "Is a dungeon what I think a dungeon is?"

Please not the sexual dungeon, please not the sexual dungeon.

Kami-sama must understand my fears(I think) because he says, "Don't worry, it's an underground area with monsters, traps, and loot like in video games. I will make one just for you, and you will clear it. As a bonus, if you clear it I will give it and its management to you! Just remember not to die! Simple right?"

Wait what? Managing a dungeon? Why would I wanna do that?

"What happens when I manage a dungeon Kami-sama?" I ask him.

He pauses for a moment to grasp his thoughts then responds, "Well basically it is this, your dungeon will earn you loot from adventurers, not only that but it will constantly spawn monsters. Treasures will spawn as long as there are adventurers supplying its power for said treasures. Right now, it would be full of loot because I gave it that power, but the loot won't re-spawn after you take it unless it's given more power."

I nod my head, I think I understand.

So in summary, if I got it, it would be infinite monster spawns and limited loot spawns, but if I get adventurers here then there would also be loot spawns for me/them to snatch up.

Kami-sama then interrupts my thoughts by continuing his talk, "Also you would be able to control the number of floors and the arrangement of rooms and traps if you have enough power to do so from the adventurers. Adding floors naturally takes more power than arranging rooms, and that takes more power than adding/arranging monster which in turn takes more power than by adding/arranging traps."

I respond to Kami-sama when he's finished. "Alright, I see. I'll do this get the dungeon as my base."

Well it'll be hard, but I think I can do it.

"Sleep well then John, by tomorrow morning the dungeon will be ready in the mountain base 3 miles north of here."

Well I guess I should listen to him and get some rest, it is pretty dark out now since I spent so long dealing with not dying, and my SP is pretty low.

I pull a tent out of my inventory and set it up.

Ooh I'm a bit hungry too so I'll eat some of the cooked food I brought with me.

I feel like having some Lasagna, Bone Apple the teeth.

John Arthur

Title: <Slightly Forgiven soul>

Level: 2

Strength: 6(+0)

Cunning: 8(+1)[up 1]

Intelligence: 6(+0)

Dexterity: 10(+0)[up 5]

Endurance: 5(+0)

Luck: 10(+0)[Up 6]

Equipment:

Head: None

Chest: T-shirt

Arms: None

Legs: Boxers, Jean pants, Boots

Misc: None

Weapon(s): Pocket knife

HP: 15/15

MP: 18/18

SP: 10/10

XP: 100/150

Chapter 3: The cliche Harem?

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Chapter 3: The cliche Harem?

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