Chapter 4: Life. Part one.
How many times I am convinced that I love art so much. And why can't I paint pictures and portraits?!
Today, when I was sitting at the station admiring the scenery of the trains, I noticed one girl. She was wearing a red cloak. Her long hair was well tied in a bun. I didn't see her face. I only saw her from behind. She was sitting with her back to me and I could only see the movement of her hand, which applied various colors to the canvas with a thin brush.
She is an artist.
I watched for two whole hours as she applied color by color. She painted people passing by and trains. She used dark paint colors to paint a crowd of people. But what was most bewitching in her painting was the sky. For the sky, she used the brightest shades of blue. Because of this, the picture was divided into two parts. Dark and light. But then she drew thin blue lines over the heads of the people. These lines were almost invisible. But I noticed them. And the feeling was created as if all these people were connected with this clear sky.
I realized that she is very brave. She still sees hope in people. She, in her painting, showed that a person can be like the sky. Clean and bright.
I watched her until she got up and collected all her things. As she passed me I could see the expression on her face. It was sad.
When she left I looked at the leather folder I carry with me everywhere in case I meet that young man. I looked around and also left the station.
As I walked along a deserted alley decorated with autumn leaves, I remembered the words of one student who said, "The most beautiful thing in autumn is that you can see migratory birds."
I remembered his words as clearly as I remembered my own words said today at the lecture:
"Tell me how do you understand the word Nothingnes?"
"The absence of anything."
"Emptiness."
"Illusion."
"Silence."
"Poverty."
There were many answers and I said, "Everything that you have listed may be true. But think again. Does Nothing make sense? For example, what do you think when you say I know nothing."
I have heard many answers. Everyone started arguing with each other. I stood and listened to their arguments.
"Professor, nothing is already something!"
And then I replied, "Nothing is the beginning. For example, when I say that I know nothing, in fact, I mean that I have the opportunity, a lot of opportunity to learn something. Get knowledge. So when you say you don't know anything, that doesn't mean you're stupid. "
Everyone started laughing.
"Professor, nothing is the beginning of everything," one of the students shouted.
And again, I remembered the folder that was in my office and was waiting for me to return it.
At the end of my lecture, I added, "When a person says that he has nothing, he is actually very close to having everything. You can only fill the empty space."
"I didn't know you were such an optimist!"
"That's all for today," I said and quickly, as if scalded, ran to the window and looked out so that it caused anxiety on the part of the students.
"Careful Professor!"
After I had spent a monotonous day, I went out and decided to walk to the house through the park.
In autumn the park is completely empty.
The rain dripped in small drops.
I walked through the puddles that reflected this world.
Suddenly, in front of me I saw a leaf that was lying on a puddle. And suddenly the thought came to me that a person is no different from this leaf.
Man loves stability. And just like this leaf, a person lies on the surface of his life not wanting to dive deeper and know all his possibilities.
As I passed the rows of benches that stretched along the path, I thought about everything in the world.
But what struck me the most was that all my life I have been walking along the same line. One way. My life is like a record stuck on one note. And in order to change the record, I have to learn how to write a melody.
The desire to change your life is as strong as the desire to meet that person and give him the folder.
The next day was my day off.
I decided to go to the museum.
As soon as I entered the spacious museum, everyone immediately noticed me.
Crowds of people wandered back and forth in the hope of understanding this complex world through art.
I walked past many canvases and portraits, but I stopped in front of one picture that was hanging on a white wall in splendid isolation.
It was a painting that depicted just black space. And in the very corner there was a small house, and if you looked closely, you could see a man and a little girl in front of the house.
Then I suddenly noticed a picture too familiar to me. I came closer and yes, it was exactly the picture that was painted by that girl in red.
A crowd of people and a train, and too bright colors that envelop people. While I was looking at this painting, I suddenly heard, "This is perhaps my best painting of this year."
I turned and saw Her.
Her black eyes are filled with all the colors of the world.
"You are very brave. You see hope in people," I said and noticed that she blushed a little.
"Thank you."
When she moved a little to the side, I noticed that she was wearing a black suit and a real man's tie. Her hair was also pinned up in a bun. She had a thin face with delicate features. But big and black eyes overshadowed everything else.
One could drown in those eyes.
"Sir, I have a feeling as if I've already seen you somewhere," she suddenly said, giving me a serious look.
"Perhaps you've seen my books on store shelves, or you've attended my boring lectures at some point."
"Exactly! You teach at that university! My sister Lucy is studying there."
"Lucy, I think I remember her. So she is your sister. "
"Yes. And that means I saw you there."
"And I saw you the day you were painting at the station."
"So it was your eyes that were drilling my back!" she exclaimed.
"Sorry, I couldn't take my eyes off you. I admire artists, "I said, feeling completely free and good around this pleasant stranger.
She came up to me. Her piercing eyes managed to see my soul in those seconds. She was much shorter, but nevertheless, I felt all her superiority and confidence. She said frowning, "Just don't try to fall in love with me. I'm not that kind of woman. I'm not in this world to find love."
I laughed. It is happened! The human made me smile and even a quiet laugh.
"I don't want love either. It's not interesting to me at all. "
"How boring we are. I can tell you right away that people don't like you, am I right? "
"I don't know."
"For them we are boring. But they are even more boring for us. I don't like it when a woman thinks that the purpose of her life is to find love and get married, "she said walking slowly around me. Well, a real cat.
"I don't like it when a man thinks that there should be someone in his life who will cook for him and keep him company on a lonely night."
She smiled and held out her hand to me, "You and I can be good friends."
But before I had time to shake her hand and introduce myself properly, she looked at her watch and said, "It's late. I have to go."
And here's another person I want to see again.
The guy with sunny hair and the girl with a serious outlook on life.
And of course the next day, too, was a day off.
Today I realized that something in me has changed. Because instead of going to the station or bus stop, I accepted Ikuta's invitation to keep him company on a hike in the lake.
Despite the fact that it was autumn, the weather today was very warm and the sun shone as if it was July month.
"It's probably the last days of the heat before the cold," Ikuta said as we began to walk along the paths through the forest.
I was wearing light checkered pants and the same light white shirt. And my head was covered with a yellow hat.
"What is this folder? Are you writing a new book?" asked Ikuta looking at the leather folder.
"No. It's just a long story," I replied and Ikuta didn't elaborate further.
What I like about him is that he knows the boundaries between people. He knows that everyone has their own borders and no one has the right to cross them. Whatever happens.
"Skyemoone," he suddenly said my full name, which meant one thing - he wanted to talk about something very important.
"Yes," I said.
"On my daughter's account. You know she really likes you, don't you?"
«I know.»
"I know you're a lonely man. You don't need anyone. And in general, sometimes I think you're some kind of robot. A very cool robot of course. But could you tell her that you don't have any feelings for her."
"I'll tell her. And anyway, a girl like her doesn't need anyone. She's too smart to marry. Sometimes I think she wants to get married to make you happy."
"Me?! What makes you think so? I raised my children so they were selfish. So, they think about their lives before and never listen to my whims when it comes to their affairs. I don't think she wants to marry because of me. She just liked you. I'll tell you the secret, but this is the first time she likes someone. She is an unsociable person and it is hard for her to communicate with people. Just like you. She doesn't particularly like to talk to anyone. She never had any friends. And you're the first person she liked."
"Ikuta, I will tell her about my feelings. Don't worry about it."
Instead of getting angry, he hugged me and, as if playfully pushing me aside, said, "So you don't want to be my son-in-law?! Well, you're very lucky. If you were my son-in-law, I'd stop being your friend."
Finally, when we reached the small lake, I quickly laid my plaid on the grass and just as quickly settled down.
Under the tree it was cool and the sun's rays warmed my bare feet. The rustling of leaves and the singing of distant birds made me start to fall asleep.
But through the light veil of daytime sleep, I could hear Ikuta splashing in the water and shouting, "Skye wake up! You didn't come here to sleep!"
"I am not sleeping."
"You're sleeping!"
The lake was sparkling with sunlight. There was no one around. Only tall trees.
Ikuta waved to me. "Come here!"
Only I wanted to get up and take off my clothes to plunge into the warm water, when suddenly I heard behind someone's steps and suddenly!
Golden hair that merged with green leaves.
Barefoot, I ran after on my vision.
A narrow path led me into a dark forest which stood and awaited the guests, I ran forward. But there was no golden hair. I was chasing the emptiness.
And then I stopped.
Why do I care? Who is this young man that I'm acting like a lunatic?!
"Sky! Where are you?" Ikuta's voice was heard.
«I am here!"
No sooner had I come to my senses as Ikuta hugged me as if I had been gone for a year.
"I'm fine. I just wanted to go to the bathroom."
"Well, you're weird!"
While Ikuta was swimming for another two hours, I slept so soundly that I didn't even notice him sitting down near me.
"What a good day today, and you overslept it," he said.
"Ikuta," I began but stopped.
"Are you in love?" he suddenly asked.
"What? What makes you think of that?"
"Well, you're kind of lost. And to the fact that your eyes look around like you're waiting for someone."
"Did you read Alice in Wonderland?"
"I still read it sometimes."
"So, lately I feel like Alice chasing the White Rabbit."
"And what does that mean?"
"I don't know."
For a while, we were both silent, and then I suddenly wanted to ask, "Have you ever felt like you want to leave, go far away and never come back?"
"No. I like it here."
"I always want to leave. I want to travel. To see the world."
"If you leave, the university will lose its reputation," Ikuta said. "Well, if you want to leave, I hope you tell me about it. Don't disappear without saying anything."
«Of course, I will tell."
"It's getting dark. It's time to go home."
When the forest around us turned into a haven for nocturnal animals, we packed up and went back to the car.
On the way home, we were both silent.
And the reason for my silence was the White Rabbit, the guy with the sunny hair.
The man I have to find.
Gifts
-- Gift
received Weekly Power Status
-- Power
Ranking 
-- Power
stone