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In A Fantasy World: Pioneer Of Mana In The Apocalypse

Fantasy 29 Bab 11.6K Dilihat
Penulis: ScriptGamer

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Ringkasan

A mortal soul broke free from the endless cycle of reincarnation, embarking on a perilous journey through diverse realms and spatial dimensions.

One day, Juan found himself abruptly awakening in the heart of a forested mountain. Yet he fallen from height just to reach the ground.

Encountered and saved by a hunting tribe. Now living and changing their very lives. Got exiled and then he returned having ambition of a conqueror.

Months passed, and Juan, leading a quiet life in this secluded world, suddenly learned that nearby tribes were afflicted by an invisible plague, transforming ordinary beings into grotesque monsters.

Juan woke up in the morning suddenly with an unnamed mana breathing method in mind.

Join him as he venture from a short nobody into an overpowered mc that will become a pioneer in hands with mana.

He shall conquer the land and become the first and unprecedented emperor of this world! Let the land be of my use and thy resources!

....


I shall stop I think, I don't have any motivation anymore. I shall rewrite this into a new book once I become stronger in my path as an author. Ty

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  1. ScriptGamer
    ScriptGamer Berpartisipasi 13
  2. VoidPhantom
    VoidPhantom Berpartisipasi 5
  3. Toni_Yunanto
    Toni_Yunanto Berpartisipasi 5

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Toni_Yunanto

I would suggest you consider breaking up the text into smaller paragraphs for easier reading. Additionally, you may want to consider adding more descriptive language to help paint a clearer picture for the reader. For example, you could describe the appearance of the stars, the colors of the civilizations, and the emotions of the characters. Here is a possible rewrite of the passage with these suggestions: In the myths of many ever expanding universes, the boundless void becomes the vast sky. Only the stars call the silent universe, warmth we all live beneath. They twinkle like diamonds in the endless night, each one a beacon of hope and wonder. Hope and darkness we all call the planets civilization. Amidst this unexplained emptiness, different colors to all civilizations, despite their despairing frame. Some are bright and vibrant, others are dull and faded. Each one reflects the mood and culture of its inhabitants.

7mth
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Vimbai_Murindagomo

One gets a sense of an excellent command of language.That alone coupled with the simplicity of expression for me adds to reading experiensce, giving the book a pace of its own. An outstanding read.

7mth
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VoidPhantom

I understood the story but I had to read it slowly, the book is good but if I may beg, please dumb it now a little bit, still the book is good and I recommend it

7mth
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Penulis ScriptGamer