AsteriskDelta

LV 15
2018-12-02 Bergabung United States
Aktivitas
Karya Asli
Lencana 12

Moments 7
AsteriskDelta
AsteriskDelta
2 years ago
Replied to _Dream_God_

Did you forget what happens to your child and their mother after you're burned at the stake? This isn't modern day...

AsteriskDelta
AsteriskDelta
2 years ago
Commented

Not a big fan of "moralizing" Aphrodite like this. Saying "she just has a different sense of morals" is ridiculous; so do psychopaths, and so do bears. Yet even if they see nothing wrong with their actions, we still put them down if they try to harm us or eat us. To be clear, I have no issue "allying" with her, I just find the characters preaching "buh buh but humans are worse!" annoying, and no one in their right mind should/would feel grateful to someone for *not* enslaving them. That's not a virtue, that's a bare minimum for not getting yourself executed. Gods might not be worse than a human of similar age with great power, but I doubt they're better, either-- it's a sentience+self-interest thing, not a human thing.

AsteriskDelta
AsteriskDelta
2 years ago
Posted

Credit where credit's due: the author writes coherent scenes and vivid descriptions, and the story would have been very enjoyable if he'd chosen a different direction to take the characters. That said, this story can get painfully awkward to read, and it doesn't help that it feels like a self-insert fantasy, albeit a worrisome one (friendly reminder to NOT pull a chris-chan, Author). The MC is... well... a naive, infantalized young man-- an impressive achievement when you're a 30+ y/o reincarnator who saw the worst of humanity and killed himself over it. Yet five years of a warm family, and suddenly he's more of a pure, blank slate than most real children. He lacks initiative and any sense of self-preservation, and continually makes oversights or poor decisions. Furthermore, he seems to be influenced by a complex over both his gender and race (which is explicitly mentioned by the author despite being of no importance to the story), before preaching about "respect" or "eliminating evil". The side characters aren't much better, with each of them settling into their archetype so fast I got whiplash, and the inexplicable depth of bonds/emotions is written off as his "charm blessing". The antagonists are all comically evil, literally laughing as they beat women or plot to take over the world. The impetus for the plot, while less cringy, is equally nonsensical (super-powerful parents, having literally never taught him anything or challenged him, are dissatisfied with his strength and throw him into mortal combat for giggles [read: "growth"]) TL;DR: A novel to pass time with if you shut off your brain, but eventually the sheer cringe factor will convince you to stop. None of the story's themes were "bad", per se, but they were very poorly implemented and feel more like a caricature of stories that did them right.

AsteriskDelta
AsteriskDelta
2 years ago
Posted

Although it's one of the most well-written novels on the site (so far as coherency and pacing), it suffers from poorly-constructed (frustrating, even) main characters as well as the author making (heavily foreshadowing) several promises to his readers which he reneges on due to the author's IRL wife. Furthermore, he creates a great deal of unnecessary drama by making the MC unwilling to communicate certain things or stubbornly clinging to the morality of his old world, which could have all been avoided if he was simply honest to others AND himself. This review will focus mainly on the negative aspects of the story, as there's an excess of reviews that discuss the positive points, many of which I (at least partly) agree with. Development of characters is quite good when it comes to non-MC male characters and mature female characters, but there are more than a few female characters MC's age who seemingly never mature and constantly antagonize him (a trait that the author appears to find "endearing"), to which he does... absolutely nothing, allowing himself to be walked all over (note several men also act like this initially, but the MC either comes to an understanding with them or punishes them/tells them to GTFO). I'm not saying that the women should all just swoon around Roland or whatnot, I just wish he wouldn't indefinitely excuse poor behavior that he wouldn't tolerate from his other (male) subordinates. Roland himself has an almost static character from chapter 20 on, and the few occasions he decides he needs to change/grow result in a long internal monologue before he goes back to exactly how he was before. Random side-character peasants are unironically better-developed than him. Furthermore, Roland is basically a Chinese JP-MC-- though he does kill, he accepts far too much abuse (only from women, mind you, he's more than happy to reprimand men), preaches sunshine and daisies and the power of friendship, and only really succeeds due to plot armor and the constant work of more competent people who are willing to make the hard decisions he won't. His blend of western high-horse moral preaching mixed with CCP propaganda can get very grating at times. That said, among my sea of complaints, props to the author for turning what started out as a 2D enemy (The Church) into a compelling antagonistic faction with whom the upper echelons can be empathized with and understood. Frankly, if Roland wasn't an MC, The Church would have literally have been humanity's only hope, and their actions go from cartoonishly evil to morally grey ones taken by desperate men and women who acted in a bid to save humanity-- and, frankly, their actions would have been vindicated if they weren't in a fiction novel with a superpowered (metaphorically speaking, at least early on) MC suddenly appearing to save the day. The romance takes center-stage in this story, and while the writing itself is good, the relationship it portrays is downright pitiful and more fit for someone in middle/highschool than adults of the characters' age, not to mention they progress at a glacial speed (takes over a year for him to get more than a peck). Anna (the "official" female love interest, and the only one the author was "allowed" [by his wife] to explicitly write) treats him quite poorly at times, alternating between hot and cold and outright snubbing him countless times, even in front of others or after a long time apart. I honestly believe the author lacks romantic experience and simply puts up with however his IRL wife treats him, then assumes that all relationships are like that and writes the MC as the same henpecked husk of a man that he is. Frankly, there's nothing in the story that makes me feel like she ever loved him, something other (densely ignored) female characters express in spades. To add insult to injury, Anna herself is about as 2D a character as they come-- super-powerful, super-smart (goes from barely literate to overturning modern quantum mechanics and outshining all modern scientists within less than a year), and yet lacks any defining personality characteristics; she's quiet, ostensibly nerdy, and... nothing else. She's basically just a plot device to give the MC a combo CNC/lathe/welder/kiln machine and let him kickstart industrialization. Oh, and despite seeing combat only ever once before, she's perfectly calm against monsters that terrify warriors with decades of experience despite the man she "loves" dying a few feet away. As one can probably guess from the above, it was the poor romance/female lead that ruined this story for me, even making the kingdom-building aspects unenjoyable as the MC constantly interacted with women who clearly cared for him and would have made far better partners The other female "love interest" (if she can even be called that-- the author, as I said before, was forbidden to write about her/other women by his wife) is one of the most well-developed in the entire story, and has both a genuinely entertaining personality and admirable personal qualities. Despite this, she's relegated to constantly "watching over" the MC, and despite always trying to help him, risking her life for him countless times, and the two clearly loving eachother, the author can't even strap his bullocks back on long enough to give her the happy ending she deserves. May the idiots who called this "harem" step on a lego brick, and may the poor author dig his spine out of the dumpster and find an IRL woman who actually shows him the same love and care he shows her.

AsteriskDelta
AsteriskDelta
3 years ago
Posted

Interesting premise and start, but becomes unreadable past chapter 60 (MTL-level). Also, a very lackluster romance and a great deal of "coincidences" (plotarmor) made the story far less enjoyable as it continued.

AsteriskDelta
AsteriskDelta
3 years ago
Posted

The main character goes from intelligent and pragmatic to merciful and naive within about 30 chapters, on the level of a Japanese MC at that. "Oh, you just tried to kill me? That's fine, you can leave." At first, the MC killed threats without hesitation, yet later, he risks his identity being discovered (which would instantly get him hunted by those far more powerful) to kindly ask a group "please don't hunt wisps anymore". The foolish main character combined with the trope-filled writing killed the story for me, and likely will for anyone more fond of calculative/antihero MCs.

AsteriskDelta
AsteriskDelta
3 years ago
Commented

When will Lin take the Lindette pill? Him getting nerfed and constantly alternating between stupid and cunning (so much so he can't see the obvious solution to his problem) is starting to get a tad tiresome. I love the story, but moments like this seem really forced.

  • The Chimera Bloodline original

    The Chimera Bloodline

    Fantasy

    Note: I've just started a new (very demanding) job, so I've had to put my writing on hold until I get my life in order. Be it weeks or months, look forward to the continuation of Nemeya's antics, Kiera's derpy-ness, and Del's terminal case of badassery. Sorry for the delay! Del is an artificial life-form created on the eve of thermonuclear war, a biological superweapon designed to annihilate- and recreate- all human life. However, before Del and its “siblings" could be unleashed, their creator is mysteriously killed, putting them in hibernation for over a millennia. One day, a young woman flees into ancient ruins to escape a bandit, breaking a strange crystalline sphere and releasing Del into this new world. With the power to absorb, manipulate, and imitate all biological life, Del must survive in a world where magic and demons are very real, where the power of an individual can surpass entire countries. Given no directive but knowing its original purpose, Del decides to evaluate if humanity truly is what its creator saw it for. Thus, in the pursuit of becoming “human”, it fuses the personalities and memories of fallen humans into its own mind, trying to understand the actions and reasons of tyrants and saints alike. Before it knows it, Del has been established as a “he”, led around by his companions as they explore and influence society in a time of great upheaval. Throughout this journey, Del learns to experience the ups and downs of life; he falls in love (more than once, to the chagrin of his first wife), kills to protect, laughs and cries with his companions, indulges in debauchery, and even struggles to raise his own children. By now, Del’s already forget his original purpose, but all that changes when the Church brands him a heretical existence for the crime of being created by a mortal. To protect all those he cares about, and to end the age-old race wars kindled by the Gods, how far is he willing to go? But the Gods have a secret of their own: we aren't alone in this universe. New chapter every day or two, depending on popularity! Authors Note: If you asked me what genre this story predominantly is, I'd answer “adventurer’s romantic-comedy” without another thought. There are tense, dark moments to be sure, and terrible things to happen, but the silly and shenanigans are never far behind. I’m hoping to write a book that keeps you glued to it, but not so much that you forget to laugh. Disclaimer: This story contains graphic sex scenes and explores very real issues such as tyranny, racism, rape, torture, and genocide. Genres: Adventure, Comedy, Echhi, Fantasy, Harem, Horror, Psychological, Romance

    16 Chs 46 Koleksi