Gudmund Thoresen the leader of the Southern California pINPOINt team. He took over the team when his older brother Sigmund was killed in action. Now Gudmund is finding new clues that seem to be from Sigmund. He learned that the person that killed Sigmund, is working behind someone eviler.

I always see him on my dreams
But who is He
Will I see Him in real life


Athena Ramos always dreamed about a mystery guy which she can't believe cause why do her feelings acting strange when she's dreaming about him but athena convince herself that its just a dream, a dream that will never in real life
Little did she know that will change her life.

#RE-INCARNATION#SYSTEM#FANTASY#ACTION
.
.
l.oki ,a boy who started to control his dream and achieved it.
.
.
Later found out that by controlling his dreams he could not only see the future but also break through the limitations of the physical world through dreams.
.
.
He learned that he didn't even found 0.1% about dreams and the truth about creation and why did it exist ,but he knows that dreams are the key to the knowledge he seeks.
................................................................................................
Read to know what made loki want to controls his dreams, how and to what extent did he found out about mystery of the creation through dreams.
//////////////////////////////////////////////////////
AUTHOR'S NOTE :the first few chapters will have some mistakes regarding grammar and spellings and some inconvenience with paragraph arrangemeant .i hope readers will endure a bit and read chapters before deciding is the novel worth reading or not.
.
thank you.

#RE-INCARNATION#SYSTEM#FANTASY#ACTION
.
.
Loki ,a boy who started to control his dream and achieved it.
.
.
Later found out that by controlling his dreams he could not only see the future but also break through the limitations of the physical world through dreams.
.
.
He learned that he didn't even found 0.1% about dreams and the truth about creation and why did it exist ,but he knows that dreams are the key to the knowledge he seeks.
................................................................................................
Read to know what made loki want to controls his dreams, how and to what extent did he found out about mystery of the creation through dreams.
//////////////////////////////////////////////////////
AUTHOR'S NOTE :the first few chapters will have some mistakes regarding grammar and spellings and some inconvenience with paragraph arrangemeant .i hope readers will endure a bit and read chapters before deciding is the novel worth reading or not.
.
thank you.

Since before I could remember, I've been having these dreams. Dreams where I was a different person in a different world. The world was about magic, and magic was power, and I was the most powerful magician.

I thought it was just dreams from a powerful imagination, until the day when I accidentally cast magic in the real world. That was the day when the first stone was cast. 

What was magic? What were these dreams? What is real? And what did I set into motion?

Ng makarating kami sa  kanyang condo unit
 
Agad kami pumasok
 
Agad niya ako hinalikan
 
Halik na parang sabik na sabik
 
Parang walang bukas
 
Hindi ko alam kung paano kmai nakapasok sa loon ng kwart
 
Hindi ko alam at hindi ko namalayan na may nagyari na sa amin
 
Bakit mukhang totoo ito
 
Bakit parang hindi ito panaginip
 
Pero impossible naman makasama ko si sir sa isang kwarto
 
Mas imposibleng papasukin niya ako diro
 
Ano bang nangyayri sa akin
 
Ganoon ba kallalim ang pagmamahal ko kay sir kahit sa panaginip , napapanaginipan ko ang kanyang mga halik
 
Bakit parang totoo ang mga ito
 
Ipinikit ko na ang aking mata
 
Ayaw ko na mag-isip pa, matutulog na lang nga ako 
 
Tutal bukas malalaman ko din ito na pannginip lang ito at walang katotohan
 
At bukas magigigng ako sa paniginip
 
Magising ako sa katotohanan 
Magigigng ako sa realidad
 
Kaya bigla ko naalala ang mga nabasa ko sa libro tungkol sa paniginip
 
"Even the loveliest dream bears like a blemish its difference from reality, the awareness that what it grants is mere illusion."- Theodor Wiesengrund Adorno
 
"Dreams feel real while we're in them. It's only when we wake up that we realize something was actually strange."- Inception, 2010 film
 
"The best thing about dreams is that fleeting moment, when you are between asleep and awake, when you don't know the difference between reality and fantasy, when for just that one moment you feel with your entire soul that the dream is reality, and it really happened."- James Arthur Baldwin
 
"Dreams are illustrations…from the book your soul is writing about you."- Marsha Norman
 
 "All that we see or seem, is but a dream within a dream."- Edgar Allan Poe
"Dreams are often most profound when they seem the most crazy."- Sigmund Freud
"Yet it is in our idleness, in our dreams, that the submerged truth sometimes comes to the top."- Virginia Woolf
Dreaming is an act of pure imagination, attesting in all men a creative power, which if it were available in waking, would make every man a Dante or Shakespeare."- H.F. Hedge
"All the things one has forgotten scream for help in dreams."- Elias Canetti

“Hanggang kailan ba kita mamahalin Sir Miguel? Hanggang kailan ako magpapakatanga sayo? Hanggang kailan ba titigil ang puso ko sa pagmamahal sayo, Hanngang Kailan ba? Pag ubos na ubos na ba ako? Hanggang kailan ko ba tatangapin na hanggang panaginip lang kita? Hanggang kailan ba ako magpapanggap na ako na ang mahal mo na hindi lang ako panakip butas?” Tanong ni  Rose kay Sir Miguel

“Wag mo akong mahalin, sinabi ko bang mahalin mo ako, YOU jump into my Bed tapos magdedemand ka ngayon na mahalin kita, Una palang sinabi ko na sayo wala kang mapapala sa akin, pero makulit ka, Alam mo hanggang ngayon mahal ko pa rin ang aking asawa” mabalaksik niyang sabi,habang sinasabi ni Sir MIguel yunparang kandila akong nauubos, parang ayaw ko ng mabuhay pa, ang sakit ng mga salita niya, sino ba naman ako para mahalin ng isang milyonaryo, isang lamang akong mababang uring babae dahil katulong lang ako sa kanilang mansyon at sabi nga nya mahal niya ang kanyang asawa na matagal ng patay, ang sakit sakit parang hinhiwa ang puso ko sa bawat salitang binibigkas niya.

Siguro tama na yung narinig ko para magising ako sa katotohanan, kaya bago ka pa akong mabaliw sa pagmamahal na meron ako para sa kanya, mas mabuting umalis na ako sa mansyon.

Paano makita mo ang dati mong boss makalipas ang tatlong taon, Ano ang gagawin mo?

Subaybayan ang Kwento nina Rose At Miguel

Helios was given a second life in exchange for a heavy responsibility—To protect the world from the devastation.

They, who embodied the will of a planet and had enough strength to shred the two most powerful beings in a heartbeat.

With the threat of destruction looming over the world, Helios reincarnated, fought in bitter wars, and died.

He reincarnated again. This time he tried a different approach, sacrificing a thousand years in pursuit of a perfect Godhood.

Even that failed.

Now he chose to reincarnate again in the hope to regain his humanity.

Would he succeed or fail?

Read more to find out.

---

This is a Crossover between Fate Grand Order and DxD, an AU you might say.

Features:
The main story is set in the Era of Artoria Pendragon.
Lots of Kingdom building.
Lots of action-packed wars.
Lots of fluff.

Schedule - 4 chapters every week

---

I don't own anything in this book. This is just a piece of fiction.

Angor still felt bad for what just happened to him, but the outcome wasn't too bad—at least he could forget about repaying Jebra's "token of friendship" from now on.
Moreover, the incident helped him cleanse his name because Sliv just proved his guiltlessness with that Detect Truth spell.
"Are you alright, Mister Padt?" Freud asked when he saw Angor deep in thoughts. "You were hurt by Mister Sliv's power, no? I saw you vomiting blood…"
He never knew that Angor was pretending it.
"I'm fine. Do you know about Sliv?"
"Sort of." Freud nodded. "I heard a lot about him back at the Tower of Hurricane. He's 'Sorcerer of Big Fish' Sliv, a master of Summoning and Sea Manipulation. The fish under his feet is one of his summoned creatures. It's named 'Brigitte'."
"'Sorcerer of Big Fish'…" Angor carefully kept that name in his mind.
Freud thought and decided not to ask what happened between Angor and Sliv. The answer probably did not concern a dead man like him.
Swiftly, Gondola took them back to Freighting Town. When they arrived back at the orphanage, Angor used his spirit to sense the illusion and found Tulu sprawl-sleeping at Alda's playground with a terrified expression, probably having a bad dream. The small soul of Alda was sitting on a rocking horse nearby while curiously observing the illusion around him.
Angor stepped into the illusion and suddenly stopped moving when he noticed that an illusion monster he deployed around one of the entrances was no longer there.
The whole illusion around the orphanage was well and intact, apart from several illusion nodes that created a "flying face" ghost, which had been destroyed.
It should be at least a level-2 apprentice who could break his illusion nodes, which meant Alda, Sunny, and Tulu couldn't have done it.
"Jebra…"
Angor felt his mood worsening when he once again thought about his shady stalker. Now that he would act more carefully, he decided to keep his spirit feelers activated so that he could detect anything hiding around him in time.
He was now certain that Jebra was following him to look for clues about Lucas' skull. He was also wondering what happened to the skull. When he was escaping from the dark island, both the Leviathan and "God of Seas" Flunza were watching over the place. Who was so brave as to steal the skull under their noses?
Other than being curious, Angor had decided to completely stay out of this matter since it had nothing to do with him. He did wish to find out which lucky guy had inherited the great treasure, but he wouldn't go after it anymore.
He heard footsteps coming from the orphanage building and saw Sunny, still in her bright red skirt and holding that sharp putty knife, floating toward Freud.
"Mister Dison!"
Freud put a hand on her head and smiled gently.
Angor sighed and would like to return to the matter at hand. "You have ample time for get-together later. For now, follow me, Freud."
Without minding Tulu and Sunny, Angor deployed his Nightmare Domain and pulled Freud inside.
Sunny was a bit annoyed when Angor took Freud from her, but she had no choice but to go away because she had no hope of opposing Angor.
Inside Angor's Nightmare Domain of an elegant castle, Angor and Freud took their seats and looked at each other, while the other nightmare creatures, including the musician teacups, toy soldiers and a rainbow dragonfly, had their fun in various ways, either away from Angor or on Angor's head.
At first, Freud thought this was another of Angor's illusions. But then he found it hard to believe that all these lively and frisky creatures could be the result of an illusion.
"Is-is this place real or…" Freud failed to hold back his question.
"It's both real and fake."
Freud didn't understand the odd answer but didn't question further. He only thought that Angor didn't want to tell him.
The truth was, even Angor wasn't sure whether he could consider the Nightmare Realm or the projected monsters to be real.
"Where we are is not important, let's talk about you." Angor sat upright and looked at Freud in the eyes. "I have to leave the Land of Revelation soon. Before doing so, I need to settle something with you. Back in the purification garden, I promised to set you free as soon as I got the Dream Whelk. It's time to fulfill those words.
"You're free to go."
Freud showed a puzzled look as he no longer knew what he should do. He had lost all purposes of life when he died. Resting in Angor's "illusion room" while reading the fiction books had helped him forget about his condition somewhat. By writing research papers for the Dream Whelk, he was trying to find a new goal for his life, or afterlife. But he had yet to determine a future goal for real.
Now that Angor granted him freedom, he was at a loss of what to do.
"You don't look happy about it?"
Freud showed a painful smile and explained his concern.
"Your future?" Angor knuckled a table nearby. "I've seen some of your papers and saw you're interested in taking over someone's body. That seems to be a good direction. With a new body, you can either begin your life anew or continue with what you were doing before."
"But it's too hard to find such a body that is 100% in tune with my soul. Not to mention that I need to take someone talented to pick up wizardry. It's already unlikely to find new talents these days, so you see…" Freud shook his head and chuckled.
"Unlikely, but not impossible, right?"
"Yeah. I'll probably spend the rest of my afterlife traveling everywhere while looking for such a body. And I need to constantly spend time recovering soul energy while at it so that I don't vanish too soon. I wonder if I can succeed before I perish again."
Unlike Greya, who was already a powerful truth-finder wizard, an average apprentice like Freud would have a very hard time taking over someone's vessel.
"Mister Padt… can I stay with you?" Freud suddenly asked.
"You know you won't be 'free' in that case, no?"
"I meant to finish my 'Dream Whelk Project' for real, Mister Padt. I'd like to keep at it. Something tells me that I can achieve greatness if I go down this path."
"That's your ambition for the future?"
"I don't know, but I got the feeling that I'm supposed to do it."
Angor gave Freud a meaningful gaze. "Do you really think it's possible to combine dreams with illusions?"
Freud wanted to say yes but did not, because he didn't have proof.
"As I said before, your theory is fascinating but unlikely. Compared to this, have you read the book I gave you earlier?"
Angor was referring to Lucid Dream. A lucid dream meant a dream during which the dreamer was aware that they were dreaming and could somewhat control the dream to a certain extent. When Freud mentioned performing alchemy practice in dreams without consuming alchemy materials, Angor immediately thought about "lucid dreams", which would help with his alchemy attempts greatly should they make this happen.
But again, he didn't see any means of mixing his illusions with the Dream Whelk at the moment. By giving Freud Lucid Dream, he hoped that Freud could find new inspirations from the book and come up with something new.
"A lucid dream isn't hard to achieve for wizards who study dream-related arts, Mister Padt. I… once attempted working on a lucid dream using the Dream Whelk. But no, it didn't go well."
"Why?"
"It's too random. When I put an item to 'sleep' and manage to enter the same lucid dream as it, I can never find where to find the item in the dream."
"Then why do you think dreams can work with my illusions?"
"Because you're the creator of an illusion, Mister Padt. You can control everything in an illusion, and if you can figure out how to do the same when hypnotizing an item, you'll be able to set up what is going to happen in the dream. Such dreams will be more useful than many of the known Mystery items out there!"
Angor shrugged. "This is all pointless unless we can find where to start."
"Not exactly, Mister Padt. I just thought about an idea we could use."
"What is it?"
"I once said that you can only use 'dream energy' to activate the Dream Whelk. But… you just used something I didn't recognize to make it happen in Neya's room. I didn't ask about it when Neya was looking, but now, can you tell me what you used back there?"


A young traveler who receives enlightenment from another civilization is on a mission to save his beloved mentor. In his journey to seek the ultimate truth, he travels extensively and along the way, he experiences some unpredictable encounters. Will he be able to save his mentor or will his path be derailed?

Forgiveness and redemption
The year is 1976, 12 years have gone by since JFK's first term and it is high time that he returned.
When John returned to America, he returned to a country that had seen much, like poverty and the black rights movements, but unlike reality and with the help of individuals like Florence Nightingale and Bobby Kennedy, The US had little poverty and the African-Americans finally got some rights.
Chef Ramsay, Katherine, Virginia and many other chefs, happily made free curry for the homeless and needy.
Many of the special assistants have done much to better the lives of the American people, it was thanks to Joan that the cold war never found place, Sigmund Freud helped better the education and made it so that all American children could have a proper education for free, Jim Garrison helped Nelson Mandela get out of prison, legally and together, the two of them made Africa a better, free and safer country, Bobby helped prevent the assassinations of Malcolm X and Martin Luther King JR, and in the end, Rosa Parks could sit wherever she wanted to in a bus.
JFK's presidential campaign now began, and to make a short story short, he won, mostly because no one was crazy enough to run against him.
JFK was in Washington DC ready to give his speech and as people would later say, this speech reminded them of the Ich Bin Ein Berliner speech;
" I am proud to once again to be your(the peoples) shepherd, to guide you all, to help you all. I would just like to take this moment to say, I am proud to be an American, and let those who say that dreams never come true, let them come to America!- the people cheered- Thank you and may God bless us all "
Everything was almost ready, but JFK was missing one thing or someone.
During the last 12 years, Vidocq and his dear squire, have been busy as ever, the grand detective has been trying to take down Vautrin and The Perfectibilists, but now that JFK needs Vidocq once more, the grand detective and his squire shall answer the call.
The stage was set and the second term was now starting.
Vidocq and Jonathan were walking down a hallway in the White House, as they were passing each other, Vidocq said;
" It is time for you to finish this " 
Jonathan had an expression which said; I knew it.
The young man was standing in the Atacama Desert along with his friends.
" Why did you choose this place? " asked Kay.
" For if negotiations fail, at least, no one will be hurt, when the battle begins " said Jonathan.
" So you choose the driest place in the world, " said Belobog.
" Well, I could just make it rain, " said Chaac.
" I think that would be a bad idea, since Atacama's climate is similar to that of Mars, you would end up crushing many scientists' dreams of many experiments " said Jonathan.
" Fair enough, " said Chaac.
" He is here… " said Kay.
Jonathan readied himself.
Now becoming visible, appeared Opiel Guabiron.
" I am honored that you have come, " said Jonathan with a smile.
The half-man and half-dog just looked at the Nephilim.
" What business do you have with him? " asked Opiel.
" I wish for this to end, " said Jonathan.
" End? "
" Yes, no more fighting, no more death- Opiel was about to say something, but Jonathan cut him off- I understand your grief, you love your people, but revenge is not the way " said Jonathan sincerely.
the keeper of the door to Coabey did not know what to say.
" Don't say anything, let us just see " said the son of Jehoel with a smile.
" See what? " asked Opiel.
" The 50 states " said Jonathan with a smile, and so, Jonathan and Opiel travel all over America, seeing every state, Opiel saw places where the Native Americans were suffering but he also saw places where they were prospering, in the end, Opiel and Jonathan made a deal, Opiel would stop sending murderers and in exchange, Jonathan would personally help the Native Americans get better lives, and that is how the Nephilim befriended the keeper of the door to Coabey.
JFK and his special assistants would go on many adventures, but for now, this is where "I" end the story, and in the words of JFK himself;
" Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country "


These are the stories of the other Nephilim.

"Showbusiness. Wow. What you really want is what you really get, ano, Sandreanna?"
 
Bumaba ang tingin ko sa paanan ng aking paa nang marinig na magsalita si Mommy. Umigting ang aking panga para pigilan ang sariling kumalaban sa kanila. It's full of sarcasm kahit na narinig ko siyang tumawa sa bandang huli.
 
"Isang taon. Isang taon mong tiniis na hindi umuwi sa atin. Isang taon kang hinintay ng mga kapatid mo. Tapos malalaman namin, nag-artista ka pa lang walang hiya ka?!"
 
Napaangat ako ng tingin nang marinig na magsalita si Daddy. He was looking at me intently at kung hindi yata nakahawak si Mommy sa balikat niya, baka kanina niya pa akong nilapitan at sinampal.
 
"I've been in this industry for months already, tapos bigla kayong magpapakita sa akin para ano? Para guluhin ang tahimik kong buhay?"
 
I saw how they got taken aback with what I said. Maski ako, nagulat din sa sariling sinabi. Holy mother of monkey, Sandreanna! You just talked back to your own fucking parents! Is that even an achievement? Fuck it, Sandreanna Millicent!
 
Seconds of silence and in depth internalization of what I just said, Mommy broke the silence. She cleared her throat and straightened her posture, just like what she always do.
 
"Aba't-"
 
"Calm… down... Bernardo."
 
Pinigilan ni Mommy si Daddy sa akmang paglapit sa akin. She remained calm, without breaking her stare at me. Kahit may distansiya mula sa akin, visible sa aking mata ang kumikibot-kibot niyang ugat sa noo, gumagalaw na panga, at mariing tingin sa akin.
 
Dahan-dahan siyang naglakad papunta sa puwesto ko. Mas lalong kumabog ang dibdib ko. The last time I saw her, nagulat ako sa inakto niya sa akin. Kalmadong tao si Mommy and never niya pa akong sinaktan. But she can be cruel sometimes, just like how she watched while Daddy's hurting me. She may be calm outside but she's the cruelest person I've ever met in my life inside. Titirahin ka niya sa mga salita.
 
Sinubukan kong pantayan ang tingin ni Mommy pero sa sobrang seryoso nito, para akong napapaso. Para bang may invisible laser from her eyes that's why the longer I stare at her, the painful it gets.
 
She stopped midway and I don't know if it gives my heart a time to breathe o mas lalo akong kakabahan sa mga salitang lalabas sa bibig niya.
 
"Is this an act? Is this part of your script? Or is this what that Freud Sigmund Lizares taught you?"
 
What?! How… did they know about him? Oh, fuck, yeah! Your parents aren't cavemen, Sandreanna. Kumalat nga halos sa lahat and that's way too impossible na hindi makarating sa kanila.
 
Matinding paglunok ang nagawa ko dahil sa naging tanong ni Mommy. Nagulat ako. Bakit nasali sa usapan na ito si Siggy? She's talking about Siggy, right? Freud Sigmund Lizares… that's my boyfriend's name.
 
"Anong kinalaman ni Siggy dito?"
 
Mom chuckled and that became the cue Dad was able to advanced to me to give me a hard slap!
 
Fucking ouch! Holy mother of monkey! Damn it, ang sakit!
 
Napahawak ako sa pisnge kong nakatanggap sa malakas na sampal ni Dad. Hindi agad ako nakabawi ng gulat. Nanatili ang tingin ko sa side kung saan napalingon ang ulo ko nang sampalin ako. Fucking ouch!
 
"Sa lahat talaga ng ikakalantari mo, ang anak pa talaga ni Gabriel Lizares, ano?"
 
Gusto kong maluha dahil sa sakit pero kailangan kong pigilan ang sarili ko. Dahan-dahan akong lumingon at sinalubong ang matalim na tingin ni Daddy sa mismong harapan ko. Mas lalong umigting ang panga ko para lang pigilan ang sarili.
 
"What about him? Bakit ba nasali sa usapang ito si Siggy? Ano bang pakialam ninyo sa kaniya?"
 
Natatawang umiwas ng tingin si Daddy sa akin. Nakaririndi ang tawang ginawa niya. There's no humor to it. Mom remained calm, maintaining the distance away from me.
 
"Nagtatanong ka pa talaga kung bakit nasali sa usapan ang Lizares na iyon?" sigaw ni Daddy.
 
Dumagundong ang sigaw niyang iyon that I had to close my eyes kasi feeling ko may dadapo na namang panibagong sampal kapag hindi ako pumikit. Damn it!
 
"Siggy's out of this. Bakit ba kasi kayo nandito? I am fine. I am fucking fine away from your family."
 
"Bullshit!"
 
May dumapong panibagong sampal sa parehong pisnge na dinapuan niya rin ng sampal kanina. Nagngangalit na ako sa galit. Hindi puwedeng ganito na lang palagi!
 
"I can sue you with what you've done, Dad!" asik ko sa kaniya.
 
"Look at your daughter, Cindy! Naging artista lang, sumasagot na. Where is your respect, Sandreanna? Hindi ka ganiyan! Masiyado mong sinasamba ang mundong ito na kapag namali ka ng control ay biglang mawawala ng parang bula!"
 
I clenched my fist and almost dug my own nails to my skin. Ako pa talaga ang mali ngayon?
 
"Kumalma ka, Bernardo. 'Di ba ang sabi ko, ako ang kakausap sa kaniya?"
 
Dad and Mom exchanged meaningful stares with each other until Dad dead broke it and said "Fine! Ikaw ang kumausap d'yan sa anak mong naging mayabang na."
 
Tumalikod si Daddy at padabog na naupo sa kama ko para magsindi ng sigarilyo. Nabaling ang tingin ko kay Mommy na seryoso pa ring nakatingin sa akin. Para na nga'ng walang emosyon ang tingin niya. Para itong blank stare, hindi mo malaman kung para sa mabuti o hindi ang susunod na gagawin o sasabihin niya. Kinakabahan ako and this is not good.
 
Kailangan na bang tumalikod ako at takbuhan ulit sa pangalawang pagkakataon ang wrath ng parents ko? O haharapin ko na ito ngayon? Maging palaban ka naman, Sandreanna. Kahit para sa sarili mo na lang at sa kinabukasan na mayroon ka.
 
"So… that rapist helped you get up after you ran away from us?"
 
"Come again, Mom?"
 
"Cindy?!"
 
"Binahay, pinakain, binigyan ng pera, pinag-aral, ibinigay ang lahat ng luho, at ano pa, Sandreanna? What else did that rapist provided you?"
 
"What did you say, Mom?"
 
"Anong kapalit ng lahat ng ibinigay niya? 'Yang katawan mo ba?"
 
"Mom, what rapist are you talking about?!"
 
"Tell me, Sandreanna, did that guy raped you?"
 
"Ano bang pinagsasasabi mo, Mommy?! What rapist?!"
 
"That Freud Sigmund Lizares is a fucking rapist, Sandreanna! He raped his own cousin!"
 
"W-What?"
 
Hindi ko alam kung anong mararamdaman ko. Mommy's bluffing for sure, she is hundred percent bluffing.
 
"You're kidding right? This isn't a good joke to start with, Mommy. Anong… Anong rapist ang sinasabi mo? H-Hindi ganoon si Siggy, Mom. He's a good guy and he'll never do that to anyone, not with his own cousin!"
 
Tumalikod ako. This talk is super nonsense and it's getting nowhere.
 
Pero hindi pa tuluyang nakatalikod, padarag na akong pinabalik ni Mommy sa kaninang puwesto ko, paharap sa kaniya, at patalim akong tiningnan.
 
"Hindi mo na dapat nalalaman 'to pero sa kadahilanang kailangan naming protektahan at ilayo ka sa pamilyang iyon, kailangan kong sabihin ito. Maupo ka, sasabihin ko sa 'yo ang dahilan kung bakit kailangang lumayo ka sa lalaking iyon."
 
Padarag akong pinaupo ni Mommy sa malapit na couch. Gusto kong tumayo pero nanghihina ang katawan ko na pati ang paghinga ay parang hindi ko kaya. Mas lalo akong kinabahan. Hindi ko ito gusto. Naiiyak na ako. Please, tama na.
 
Gusto ko ring lingunin si Daddy pero mas pinili kong tingnan si Mommy. Ayokong marinig kung anong sasabihin niya pero hindi ko alam kung bakit hanggang ngayon ay nakaupo pa rin ako at hinihintay siyang magsalita.
 
"Your Ninong Nicholas is Gabriel Lizares' twin brother. Herd Lizares is their cousin. But that relationship of them didn't take long when Gabriel's fourth son touched Herd's daughter, Aly. Nagkagalit silang magkapatid dahil sa ginawang iyon ng anak ni Gabriel. That broke the Lizares. This was kept from the public because this is a family matter but I am telling you this now para malaman mo kung anong klaseng tao ang sinamahan mo."
 
What the actual fuck did I just hear? What the fuck?!
 
Umiwas ako ng tingin kay Mommy at umiling-iling, hindi kayang i-rehistro ng utak ko ang narinig. Para na rin akong kakapusin ng hininga, hindi makapaniwala sa lahat ng ito.
 
 
"That's not true! Hindi ganoong klaseng tao si Siggy! He's a family man and he can't be like that!" I shouted.
 
"You can ask your Ninong Nick about it. He will surely tell you everything."
 
I don't want to judge but Krane's more capable of doing it than Siggy. He's the most innocent and softest guy I've ever met! But…
 
"No! Hindi 'yan totoo! You're making it up so that I will stay away from him."
 
"I did not make this one up, Sandreanna. And yes, I am telling you this to stay you away from that guy. He's no good for you. You don't deserve that kind of guy. Bakit? Maaatim mo bang pakisamahan ang taong gumahasa sa sarili niyang kadugo?"
 
Kinakabahan na ako. Hindi ko na ma-control ang sarili ko. Gusto kong maniwala sa sinabi ni Mommy pero may parte sa akin na dapat ko munang tanungin si Siggy tungkol do'n. That can't be true. He can't do that. He will never.
 
"Bakit? Alam mo ba ang tungkol sa istoryang ito at ganiyan mo ipagtanggol ang lalaking iyon? Tell me, Sandreanna, you knew about this one?"
 
I looked away and my lips tremble as I say "N-No…"
 
"'Yon naman pala! Hindi mo pala alam ang lahat pero kung ipagtanggol mo ang rapist na iyon ay parang alam mo na. Anak ka namin, Sandreanna, gagawin namin ang lahat malayo ka lang sa pahamak. Sinasabi namin sa 'yo to para ilayo ka sa kaniya."
 
"I don't believe you…" I whispered as I continued chanting it inside my brain. I don't believe you. I don't want to believe you. I don't…
 
"Gusto mo ng katibayan? Mentioned this story to him and see for his reaction. See for yourself, Sandreanna."
 
"Cindy, stop it."
 
"What, Bernardo? You want me to stop her from seeing that Lizares guy, right? I am doing what is right and she needs to know."
 
Sunod-sunod na pumatak ang luha ko't hindi ko na alam kung anong iniisip ko. Masiyadong maingay ang parents ko. I want to know the truth. I don't fucking know what I'm thinking now. I think I am going insane!
 
Nang marindi sa mga boses ng magulang ko, tumakbo ako palabas ng room ko. Dire-diretso, walang preno. Binalewala ang tawag nila sa pangalan ko. Humihikbi akong umalis ng condo building ko. Agad akong pumara ng taxi at sinabing magpapahatid ako sa address ng penthouse ni Siggy.
 
Nanginginig ang kamay ko habang nakasakay sa taxi. Kinakabahan ako. Hindi ko alam kung anong gagawin ko sa nalamang impormasyon. Sobrang imposible. Hindi magagawa ni Siggy 'yon sa sarili niyang kadugo!
 
With the extra key I have, I opened the penthouse only to see an empty place. There's no sign of him or any human being. Lumabas ako ng penthouse at sumakay ng lift pababa sa basement parking. Nagbabakasakaling makita ang kotse niya roon.
 
As I was waiting for the lift to open, tinawagan ko ang phone niya. But to my frustration, ring lang ito nang ring. Walang sumasagot. Hindi siya sumasagot!
 
Damn it, Sandreanna! Gusto kong balibagin ang phone na hawak ko pero kailangan kong kumalma! Damn it, Sandreanna, take it easy!
 
Iginala ko ang tingin sa kabuuan ng basement parking pero hindi ko rin nakita ang kotse niya. Inis na inis na ako sa sarili ko. Hindi ko alam kung bakit tila ako'y nagmamadali na malaman ang katotohanan.
 
Bumalik ako sa main entrance ng building. Nagtanong ako sa may reception area ng building. Nagtanong ako kung umalis ba si Siggy Lizares. She doesn't know daw kasi hindi raw dumadaan 'yon dito sa lobby. Usually, doon lang sa basement parking dumadaan 'yon. And she has a point! Sana pala tinanong ko 'yong security guard sa ibaba kung anong oras umalis si Siggy! Sobrang tanga, Sandreanna!
 
But there's no use of coming back. Lumabas na lang ako ng building. Pinakalma ang naghuhuramentado kong puso.
 
Para akong hinabol ng maraming kabayo, pagod na pagod. Umupo ako sandali sa sementadong bakod ng isang magandang bush at ipinagpahinga ang puso ko.
 
Natigil na ang luha ko pero parang gusto kong umiyak ulit dahil sa naalala ang mga salitang sinabi ni Mommy kanina.
 
Kalma lang, Sandreanna! Kailangan mong marinig ang side ni Siggy!
 
"I'm sorry…"
 
Napatingala ako sa harapan ko nang biglang may lumapit sa puwesto ko. Nagulat pa ako nang makita ang mukha niya.
 
Nagpakurap-kurap pa ako ng mata to composed myself. Fuck, surprises!
 
"For what?" kalmadong tanong ko, umiwas na rin ng tingin.
 
"For scaring you that night. For chasing you. For everything."
 
Mapakla akong napangiti nang mapagtantong nag-sorry ang isang Krane Lizares sa harapan ko. Himala. Isang malaking himala nga!
 
"When did Krane Lizares learned how to say sorry?" I said sarcastically.
 
He remained standing few inches from me. Nanatili rin akong nakaupo, nakatingala na sa kaniya. I already composed myself. Feeling fine. Feeling at ease but not in total peace.
 
"Since I realized you're not coming back after you've ran away, Sandi." Umupo siya sa tabi ko dahilan para mapa-iwas ako ng tingin. Marahan akong napapikit dahil sa naging sagot niya. "What are you doing here? It's basically the middle of the day, Sandi? Bakit ka nagpapa-init? 'Di ba ang mga artista hindi dapat naiinitan nang ganito?"
 
I scowled and stood up. Siya naman ang nakatingala sa akin ngayon. "Ikaw? Anong ginagawa mo rito? Paano mo ako nahanap?"
 
He sighed and rested both his elbows on his knee cap, and rested his chin on his knuckles. "Tita Cindy said to look after you. Umalis ka na naman daw. Hula niya pinuntahan mo si Siggy. And I guess mothers knows best." He put a little chuckle on it but I am not impressed enough para sabayan siya sa mahinang tawang ginawa niya.
 
Hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit bigla-biglang susulpot si Krane sa harapan ko para humingi ng sorry at ngayon sasabihin niyang inutusan siya ni Mommy na sundan ako? What the hell is going on?
 
Nanatiling naka-iwas ang tingin niya. Mas mariin akong napatingin sa kaniya. Weighing myself if it's right that I should ask him about what I just knew. Pero paniguradong may alam siya. Isa siyang Lizares. Lizares na konektado sa Lizares Sugar Corporation ng aming city. What the hell!
 
"Krane, sabihin mo nga sa akin ang totoo… totoo bang ginahasa ni Siggy ang pinsan n'yo?" diretsahang tanong ko.
 
Dahil titig na titig ako kay Krane ngayon, kitang-kita ko ang changes sa expression niya. He was in shock. And it seems like he don't know what to do.
 
"H-How did… Ho-How did you know? Sandi, how did you know?!" Dahil sa gulat, napatayo pa siya nang itanong sa akin 'yon. Nilabanan ko ang bawat tingin niya kahit na nakatingala na ako sa kaniya because of the height difference.
 
"Mom said. And I don't know why did Mom say that, Krane. Wala akong pakialam kung sinabi niya. Ang gusto kong malaman kung totoo ba ang sinabi ni Mommy? Totoo bang nangyari iyon sa pamilya n'yo, Krane?"
 
Para na naman akong maiiyak. Hanggang ngayon, ayaw tanggapin ng utak ko ang nalaman ko. Siggy's not that kind of person. He will never do that!
 
Matagal akong tinitigan ni Krane. Hindi ako nagpatalo, nilabanan ko ang intensidad ng kaniyang tingin. Pero hindi ko nga lang napigilan ang sarili kong ibagsak ang luhang kanina ko pang pinipigilan.
 
Naiinis na ako! Hindi ko gusto ang ganitong klaseng pakiramdam! Bakit kailangang bulabugin ang buhay ko ng ganito?!
 
"Krane, ano ba!"
 
"Y-Yes, Sandi. Y-Yes… h-he d-did it."
 
Holy mother of monkey!
 
Napaupo ako sa kinatatayuan ko at sinubukang saluhin ang bumabagsak kong mundo. Fuck, that's fucking impossible! Hindi magagawa ni Siggy 'yon. Not my Siggy!
 
I felt Krane's comfort to me pero patuloy na bumagsak ang mundo ko, ang mundo kong kasama si Siggy Lizares.
 
"That was a family secret. I don't know why Tita Cindy told you that but I think it is for your own good, Sandi. For your own good."
 
"How can I believe you, Krane, if I just knew that your dad, my Ninong Nicholas is Gabriel Lizares, the fucking owner of Lizares Sugar Corporation's twin brother?! You lied, Krane."
 
"We needed to lie just to cut our ties with the ill-fated family, Sandi."
 
Hindi ko pinakinggan ang pinagsasabi ni Krane. I was so devastated! I want to know the truth from Siggy himself but now that Krane told me about that, I guess I lost my energy on facing him. Hindi ko kaya. Hindi ko kakayanin.
 
I remained sitted and cried myself out. Until Krane was successful enough to convince me to have a lunch somewhere here in BGC.
 
I was like a zombie. Walang gana sa lahat ng ginagawa. Mabuti na lang at nasa huwisyo ako para batiin ang iilang taong nakakilala sa akin sa resto na kinainan namin ni Krane. I also gave them the opportunity to have a photo with me. But I am dead inside. Really dead.
 
Masakit na ang ulo ko, gusto ko nang magpahinga. Kaya nang matapos ang lunch, agad akong nag-aya na ihatid niya ako pabalik sa condo ko. I didn't even questioned why he knew the address. I must have said it earlier. I just forgot lang. Ewan. Wala na yata sa katinuan ang utak ko.
 
Umuwi ako ng condo only to find out that my manager and my family are still here. They were silent nang makarating ako. Hindi rin sila nagtanong kung bakit kasama ko si Krane. For sure, alam na rin naman nina Mommy at Daddy 'yon.
 
"Now, you wanna talk about coming back to us, Sandreanna?"
 
I stared at Mommy's face. I clenched my jaw, trying to mask up the deep well alike I am thinking. I looked away and slowly nodded.
 
Wala na yata ako sa katinuan.
 
~

Sandi Hinolan is loved and adored by all. Will the man of her life be able to love and adore her?

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