Brother_sly_1
Lv 5- Joined Jun 2017
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Nyanodesu: Giving you a review since you asked for one. Story development is pretty nice, a bit grindy but I can see it's starting to pick up. The characters, well I mean there's only one OC so far, and there hasn't been much said about who he was before he transmigrated into the HP world. Thus I can't really say much about him. What I can say is that he's very normal. Like the textbook answer for average, which is fine I guess. He's not overly evil, but not quite a goody-two-shoes either (from what I've read so far, maybe he'll develop a savior complex or something in the future). His alignment would probably fall somewhere in between neutral-good and neutral-evil. The other characters are just normal, no real changes from the HP books. There isn't much to say about the grammatical side of things. There are lots of little spelling errors and errors in sentence structure but the overall flow of the story isn't damaged by them so it's tolerable. You should maybe get a friend who's good with their English to read over it to see if he can fix some of your smaller mistakes (only works if you have friends though). Cant really credit you much for worldbuilding so far, other than the fact that you didn't mess it up, which I guess is good in its own way. As a proper review I can't rate the book very highly, but I still tremendously enjoy reading it, so do keep it up.
Skyrim system in Harry Potter World
Daoist1235: I hope the mc realises sooner that the way he is acting is like a jerk , i know he is bitter about thepast (cuz honestly getting beaten up everyday doesn't usually generates any good feelings neither does getting beteayed).However i feel hrme should realise that this incarnation if people haven't wronged him or anything.
Edea: Hero Summoning Conspiracy · C15
Harry Potter: Rise of The Spiral · C38
Live_A_Legend: Yes, I’ve been waiting for this heavenly fan fic
A New Wolf in Twilight · C0
GreatNovelLover: it's an interesting story plz continue writing it!
A New Wolf in Twilight · C0
princeofzen: Continue man come on why are caring about that idiots comment
A New Wolf in Twilight · C0
