- 0 d Continuous Writing
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Sovora
male LV 13Badges 7
Moments 8
During the whole sequence Mark should have had his hand-held mirror with him the entire time so "taking out the hand-held mirror" is a bit misleading since it's right in his hand. Should I just edit such issues out of the chapter? Or just leave it here and leave a comment like this pointing it out?
"W-was that a... L-Luxray?" Mark asked while lying next to Houndour, taking out the hand-held mirror. "T-that was my first time... seeing one..."
Pokemon: Attempt At Slightly Above Mediocre
Video Games · Sovora
It should have been in his hand throughout the sequence. Ah, I just realized I left "taking out the hand-held mirror" instead of "He looked down on the cracked mirror" in a paragraph before this one. Whoops.
"Ermm... so where are we?" Mark said and tried to look through his pockets, only to find that he had dropped the map as they were running away. "Oh no... the map!"
Pokemon: Attempt At Slightly Above Mediocre
Video Games · Sovora
It was supposed to have fallen out of Mark's pocket after the shockwave. But in hindsight, I probably should have cut this part out or at least added more to it.
"Ermm... so where are we?" Mark said and tried to look through his pockets, only to find that he had dropped the map as they were running away. "Oh no... the map!"
Pokemon: Attempt At Slightly Above Mediocre
Video Games · Sovora
Thank you for your continued support! I won't spoil anything but I can say that the story will take place in the camp for a while.
ch 0 5 Rules and Regulations
Pokemon: Attempt At Slightly Above Mediocre
Video Games · Sovora
Didn't realize updating the paragraph would remove comments. @funmaxwell thanks for pointing it out about the vegan thing, completely flew past me while I was writing this part.
"Riiiight... let's move on then," Jason said as he continued walking. The thought of becoming vegetarian crossed his mind for a second before shelving the thought for later.
Pokemon: Attempt At Slightly Above Mediocre
Video Games · Sovora
Yeah completely flew past me while writing that part, thanks for pointing it out!
This paragraph has been deleted.
Pokemon: Attempt At Slightly Above Mediocre
Video Games · Sovora
The Psyducks were paid actors
In the surroundings, Mark noticed Woopers laying in the mud as they basked in the sun. Payducks could be seen under the waterfall as the water smashed onto their heads. But although there was a variety of water pokemon, there wasn't a Buizel insight.
Pokemon: Attempt At Slightly Above Mediocre
Video Games · Sovora