Badges 6
Moments 21
Indeed. What a selfish pice of sh**. I get that he's not on the best terms with his manager, but he basically didn't help a single person except for himself when he clearly had the time to do so.
ch 0 1 Rebirth Into An Angel
Everyone Becomes Demonized: I Become A Six-Winged Seraph
Sci-fi · Taking Medicine As Sweets
Honestly, that would make more sense than not ever having seen him XD I don't know how you'd manage that while living in the same household.
I was surprised of course, for I have never really had been affectionate with the marquis before. For as long as I could remember, my father never hugged me, the one in the real world that is. We are not considered as one happy family anyway, so I did not honestly longed for it even once. But contrary to that, I found the marquis' hug pleasant. It actually made me happy. Strangely enough, it made me feel like I have been waiting for it.
Re: The Villainess Does It With Class
Fantasy · Raeven_Black
only -> alone (this alone with last me for decades)
'Do you see this jeweled bonsai tree just now? This only will last me for decades!'
Re: The Villainess Does It With Class
Fantasy · Raeven_Black
Please do keep in mind that "too" means also / as well. And "either" basically means 'or'. Either this or that. You are using the wrong word ;)
"Please don't worry about this anymore. And please rest either, you have been neglecting yourself. I don't like it," I pouted and tightened my hold on him.
Re: The Villainess Does It With Class
Fantasy · Raeven_Black
I thought she said she never even saw her dad even though they lived in the same house..? Which is very strange btw. In any case, yeah, it should be obvious that he never hugged her if they never even saw each other..
I was surprised of course, for I have never really had been affectionate with the marquis before. For as long as I could remember, my father never hugged me, the one in the real world that is. We are not considered as one happy family anyway, so I did not honestly longed for it even once. But contrary to that, I found the marquis' hug pleasant. It actually made me happy. Strangely enough, it made me feel like I have been waiting for it.
Re: The Villainess Does It With Class
Fantasy · Raeven_Black
Probably: .. throwing it past Shizuka, whipping her hair as it passed. It's an odd sentence anyway
Shizuka growled trying to recover some of her ferocity but it came out closer to a whimper. Amelie sighed and dashed forward, cracking the floor underneath her feet. When she reached Shizuka she pulled her trident back, throwing and threw it past Shizuka's face, whipping her hair as it past.
D.E.M.O.N.S: Getting Summoned Weekly isn't so Bad
Fantasy · Vongrak
Oh no, get well soon GoldenKitsune!
ch 31 Master and Disciple
Arcadia Chronicles: The Story of Lien Hua
Eastern · GoldenKitsune
Perhaps put them as F grade missions, D grade mission and so on instead of just F missions. Also the grade B already requires you to.. be as strong as an inner disciple or to form a group? How about that?
"The missions are separated in grades from the easiest to the most difficult: F is a trivial mission and doesn't give many points, but they are perfect for you. After F comes E. Already these missions are more interesting, and will mainly be missions to collect some resources or even small hunting missions. Then there are the D missions. At this level there will be hunting missions where you have to bring a recognition that you have performed these missions, an ear or a horn, it depends, or collection of important resources. After D you'll begin the real difficult missions, the grade B already requires you to be strong enough as an Inner Sect Disciple or in a group. From grade A onwards, these are quests that require you to be an Inner Sect Disciple or even a Sect Elder, so you don't need to know them for now."
Arcadia Chronicles: The Story of Lien Hua
Eastern · GoldenKitsune
don't be smart -> don't try to be smart
"This locket that I have here in my hand is where all one's sect points are deposited, so even for the smartest of us, the points are directly seen by the locket and even if they are changed externally, the sect always knows your exact points, so don't be smart."
Arcadia Chronicles: The Story of Lien Hua
Eastern · GoldenKitsune
his -> her
"Don't worry, his breathing is getting stronger, so it shouldn't be anything serious, but we need to go get help. Can you go get Old Li? He knows almost everyone in this mountain, so he should know a doctor as well."
Arcadia Chronicles: The Story of Lien Hua
Eastern · GoldenKitsune
his -> her
So undressing and putting on some lighter clothes and carrying his washed towel, Lien Hua approached the French window and opened it.
Arcadia Chronicles: The Story of Lien Hua
Eastern · GoldenKitsune
Yeah, I'm also not a fan of all of this foreshadowing. Plus damn, how could someone be so petty. I could see how he might think of her as a rival or think she looks down on him, but the way it is being played here it sounds like he wants her dead for perceived insults, which is just ridiculous.
Lien Hua didn't know what she had done to him, but she took it as merely juvenile rivalry. Of course it was the wrong thing to do in this situation, but Lien Hua did not think it would backfire on her in the future.
Arcadia Chronicles: The Story of Lien Hua
Eastern · GoldenKitsune
French door (n.): A door, usually one pair, of light construction with glass panes extending for most of its length. Not sure if the author meant those, but it would be an option.
So, she got up without wasting more time and went by the French door and opened it.
Arcadia Chronicles: The Story of Lien Hua
Eastern · GoldenKitsune
his body -> her body
Now she could finally begin with the concept of breathing with the whole body, so it took even less time since his body was already in a state of trance.
Arcadia Chronicles: The Story of Lien Hua
Eastern · GoldenKitsune
Suggestion: complex -> complexion
His face was very masculine, but at the same time androgynous. His complex was a very pale white, as if he were sick. He had two elongated, pale purple eyes with very long eyelashes and a high nose, small lips that were completely devoid of colour completed his looks. His appearance suggested an age between 20 to 25.
Arcadia Chronicles: The Story of Lien Hua
Eastern · GoldenKitsune
Thanks for the chapter :) I think the elder could use a bit more of a solemn / authoritarian air. He speaks very casually and that might not be very fitting. In any case, it was still a good read^^
ch 0 7 Day of The Awakening
Arcadia Chronicles: The Story of Lien Hua
Eastern · GoldenKitsune
neve -> never when your starting out -> you're
"Firstly though how coordinated are you? Fans as the name implies, is using two fans, where as you'd normally only use one whip. Some people to actually use two, but neve very well… it's just not worth it when your starting out, and once you get further in normally you've learnt everything wrong so I wouldn't bother"
D.E.M.O.N.S: Getting Summoned Weekly isn't so Bad
Fantasy · Vongrak
Suggestion: waste -> waist
Every step Kat took she sunk deeper and deeper into the snow. It wasn't long before it had already reached her waste and it was getting awkward to push forward. "Timmy, any ideas? I can't just keep packing snow in front of me, it hasn't even been five minutes and I've already halved my speed" said Kat
D.E.M.O.N.S: Getting Summoned Weekly isn't so Bad
Fantasy · Vongrak
I agree. It's way too much. She was barely introduced and suddenly we are in a ten chapter streak of chapters only covering green. Dear author, this is a terrible decision. I myself don't give a **** about green at this point. I am invested in the story for Kat's sake. Some info about characters that she spends time with regularly is fine. But even if this is going to be the case with green, this is too much. I don't know how much I should simply skim these chapters in this regard, since I do not want to miss anything relevant, but it all seems rather irrelevant to Kat so far. A bit relevant to world building, but yeah. Please do not do this to us. If you want to have a split point of view, take your time to introduce the character and swap back and forth between viewpoints so we don't get stuck waiting on getting back to the other character (since we're likely to be more invested into one of them or just want progress on both of them at some point). So yeah. -_- Please!
ch 91 Chapter 91 A Fun Little Game
D.E.M.O.N.S: Getting Summoned Weekly isn't so Bad
Fantasy · Vongrak
Doesn't this illustrate nicely how jumping can be a stupid idea in a fight?
ch 40 The Giant Boar
System Break
Games · Skully