9niru

LV 11
2018-10-20 Joined Global
Badges 5

Moments 6
9niru
9niru
4 years ago
Posted

This sorry started out so nicely but.. 1. The male character is always changing his genre from female to male 🤦‍♀️ 2. The grammar started giving me headaches, this story really needs a proof reader 3. The fast pacing created so many holes in the story and world building, that I lost.. The father is gone somewhere, the spirit is gone, the mother is isn't that important anymore 4 character development stagnated, because of the fast pacing most likely Great story, a lot of potential will see how it will go

9niru
9niru
9niru
5 years ago
Commented

Skill *roll* *try to imagine stick rolling * Roll roll . In the wind.. 😂😂🍃🍃🍃

9niru
9niru
5 years ago
Commented

There is some grammar mistakes there and there, but for now I loving the story, please update!

9niru
9niru
5 years ago
Commented

I am. Dropping this. This is nonsense. A wolf turned poor puppy

Chuckling a bit Annette made a gesture telling Ark to follow her as she proceeded to walk towards the mansion, what she had just used was a sort of magic called charm magic, this magic worked wonders when it came to influencing peoples thoughts and desires, this magic could only be used by women though since men weren't able to for some reason. This magic was often used to seduce people, but it only worked on people who didn't have a will and mind that was strong enough. Of course this was also relative to the mages power.

The Divine Wolf... or?

The Divine Wolf... or?

Games · Tyrone_Bedoire

9niru
9niru
5 years ago
Commented

Just why you go wolf..

After having said that Annette studied the wolf for its reaction, at first it looked a bit frozen and like it was pondering, but then suddenly it looked really happy as it gazed upon her and madly nodded it's head a couple of times. This made Annette really happy, she even broke out into a smile, which she almost never did.

The Divine Wolf... or?

The Divine Wolf... or?

Games · Tyrone_Bedoire