Chiq - Profile

Author Beuno, I think that this is the first time you have lost me as a reader. Eldrian's breakdown was too fast. I like that you have been building up to it by convincing us that both he and Erik are starting to lose a grip on the real world. I truly find that aspect very interesting, and the drama that will inevitably ensue delicious. But there has been little emotional build up toward the loss of his team mates. I can understand that things build up and become emotional to the point that they overflow in the real world, but that process is different for everyone, and in a novel, needs to have a lot of build up in order to pay it off satisfactorily. If Vivian had died after all of that and he broke down crying, I think that would be a good payoff for the time and effort that Eldrian had put into the quest, and the emotional relationship with her. She is the whole reason he went on this quest, and even though he did his best, his first failure caused the death of his closest friend in the game - someone that he had begun to acknowledge as more than an NPC: a human. You have put a lot of effort and time in this novel, and I love it so far. Thank you for all of it.

Author. I love the effort and time you have put into world building.