SwordImmortal6 - Profile

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Dear author, in my opinion your story has a interessant concept und good world building However I think I lacks depth. Any Hero is just as good as his negative, this can be an opponent or an internal struggle. This also puts the hero in the position of an underdog, which many readers love. By struggling and overcoming these negatives the hero growths und by that lets the story progress. in your story the hero doesn't seem to really have a goal since he left the city und ran away from the king, he doesn't really has a challenge to overcome, the negative is too weak in my opinion. Another point are his female companions, their Charakter also lacks depth. If you want to improve this, you can look at archetypes and try to assign them to different characters of your story, this can give you a guideline Nevertheless you put so much effort in this story, I admire this, keep it up 🤗 And maybe the dungeon part, will change the story in a way I wouldn't expect it to and I'm completely wrong 😁 Have a great day ^^