Badges 24
Moments 89
first time in battle ig
"A Glacier Golem. That's not too bad," Kaleb murmured. He was slightly drained from using Elemental Summon for the first time since he'd obtained it from Michael, but the effect was better than expected.
Supreme Lord: I can extract everything!
Fantasy · HideousGrain
fist of flowing water crushing rock
Now water can flow or it can crash.
The Martial Unity
Action · Lord_Streak
I honestly hope Lith and solus end up together. I am really only tolerating Lith dating randoms because she didn't have a body but honestly if she starts dating randoms when she become human like I'll probably have to drop the story
ch 510 The Day After (Part 6)
Supreme Magus
Fantasy · Legion20
just wanted to say that if you've read up to this point using only coins you've spent at minimum 600$
ch 2959 Yurial’s Lesson (Part 1)
Supreme Magus
Fantasy · Legion20
how long till she gets the slave bracelet off
Since Solus kept sleeping, Lith used that time to call Wanemyre and Marth to make up for his blunder. They were happy to hear from him and wished him a good winter break.
Supreme Magus
Fantasy · Legion20
yet it took 3 chapters to go from a normal personality to a 12 year olds oc
"You deserve death, but that would be a waste. You'll be way more useful alive." The masked man continued as he advanced further.
An Extra’s POV
Fantasy · Magecrafter
alright I officially have to drop this, I tired so hard to get through to see if it actually got better. another 'grey' Gary sue story that can't kill a person
"You deserve death, but that would be a waste. You'll be way more useful alive." The masked man continued as he advanced further.
An Extra’s POV
Fantasy · Magecrafter
this is the most egregious Gary Sue I've seen on here and that's saying something
ch 57 The Deal Made [Pt 2]
An Extra’s POV
Fantasy · Magecrafter
careful it's starting to feel a little rushed. too chaotic
ch 699 At Peace
Supreme Lord: I can extract everything!
Fantasy · HideousGrain
of course
Legendary Cripple
Supreme Lord: I can extract everything!
Fantasy · HideousGrain
better, having 2 thoughts in a single instance of dialog works when it's broken up like this
"Haa~ I just hope that it won't kill me…" After saying this, he changed the topic. "Is there still no delivery of corpses for Mr. Heinz?" Kyle asked since the delivery of corpses rarely happens and he had already instructed Denise to inform him if there was any news.
Arcane Academy: The Divine Extraction Legacy
Fantasy · xlntz
there's a difference between being out for yourself and being a Gary sue
Hmm... If there were benefits, he could consider doing it though.
I Hide And Farm In The World Of Cultivation To Increase My Proficiency
Eastern · Flying Fatty
what is with this? you're having a character say something, then say something again as if they are responding to something someone else said
"I only made three strands. Alright, teach me how to make the magic zone." Kyle calmly replied as he observed the young girl in front of him.
Arcane Academy: The Divine Extraction Legacy
Fantasy · xlntz
@author : I think you're doing pretty good so far, but this dialog here sounds...bad to say the least. You should read this out loud to someone else. it doesn't sound natural and it doesn't read as natural speech. it's much better to separate the thoughts with some sort of break. after " nice to meet you" you could have had her speak, and then say " let's forget about.."
"I'm Kyle Marshall. Mr. Heinz just accepted me as his student a while ago… It's nice to meet you, Denise. Let's forget about the matter before. As you said, I just fell asleep."
Arcane Academy: The Divine Extraction Legacy
Fantasy · xlntz
remember, Chinese novel. reduce numbers by a decimal place to get a more realistic value. 12mo-> 1.2 months
ch 17 Skill Advancement
I Hide And Farm In The World Of Cultivation To Increase My Proficiency
Eastern · Flying Fatty
courting death counter: 1
If he was caught eavesdropping, that would just be courting death.
I Hide And Farm In The World Of Cultivation To Increase My Proficiency
Eastern · Flying Fatty
I'm so tired of this Chinese mentality, its forcing me to go write my own LN just to get a protagonist that's not "OHOHO I KNOW EVERYTHING, AM PERFECT, AND WILL NEVER SUFFER ANYTHING"
Hmm... If there were benefits, he could consider doing it though.
I Hide And Farm In The World Of Cultivation To Increase My Proficiency
Eastern · Flying Fatty
yeah I do a little foreshadowing
Dark, almost black, chains of thousands of wrinkled, dried-out seals connected to the active Cursed Seals. The miniature seals formed a chain that covered Michael's entire body. It almost looked like Michael was the one sealed rather than the Curse he contained.
Supreme Lord: I can extract everything!
Fantasy · HideousGrain