APackOfOrphans - Profile

If this was real, that cult teaching/mindset would do more damage to the world than the celestial dragons as evidence by Trump.

You should really rewrite Pauls way of talking as it kills the immersion and makes readers/me start questioning your writing, “if the writer messed up Paul’s character this much, what else did they mess up on? Are the characters acting as they should or is the author taking liberties again?” Gonna take a break before reading from chapter 12 as this has soured the entire thing for me right now.

The entire story has been somewhat rushed but this was the straw that broke the camel’s back on killing the suspension of disbelief. I am fine with the parents getting killed, it’s the way it was done that was so rushed it finally woke me up to how surface level the entire story was.

The grammar and dialogue was already a warning sign, the mutated evil pieces just sealed the deal. The power scaling seems like it will be exaggerated and the story telling seems like the characters are just dolls and not believable as living beings.

How much does the gacha option cost that A+ luck does not tempt him to even try a few times and instead opted for a 500k black key factory. Never understood the appeal of extreme self depreciation POV of characters to illicit sympathy. It just reads like a bad youtube apology video. Just my personal preference of show not tell. Story seems rushed but still interesting.