Dracolame - Profile

I think it's too limiting to think of using points of view like that. For me, in this case, Rudeus's internal perspective is great. Yet following your thoughts we should use the POV General (I'm assuming you're speaking from the external or third-person point of view) because there will just be some action in Rudeus' escape and rescue. But why do I want Rudeus' internal point of view? First, we must now decide what are the consequences of this conflict. I think it would be good to do character development in Rudeus and therefore evolve the relationship in Mc and Rudeus. We have an idea but we need a precise objective. Rudeus may feel humiliated at having been saved or be jealous or frustrated with power at any rate one the trigger is the difference in potency. Then all his emotions will make him act differently for example he will become more determined or even become depressive (a development of character is not necessarily positive) and therefore this will influence the relationship between Mc and Rudeus for example Rudeus will be more respect or take some distance with the Mc. Then we have to decide how to tell this conflict. This is where we choose the point of view. We have the choice between first person, third person and omniscient point of view. We can describe the power of Mc with the 3 but what is important here is to show the DIFFERENCE in power between Mc and Rudeus. The omniscient and first person point of view are the best because we can make a comparison between the two (with the third person we only show the action and it is the reader who makes the comparison and after the author must explain in comments). Then we have to do one in between. I think the first person is the right one. When Mc saves Rudeus, we can really show the difference in power between the twins. For example, Rudeus sees only shadows and explosions, the fight lasts about ten seconds, the destruction of the battlefield. In short describe the fight with the 5 senses of Rudeus totally overwhelmed by the speed and the power of the fight. This increases the reader's immersion. So here it is, Rudeus had nothing to say but had a lot more to show but it's mainly because I wanted to do character development with Rudeus. If we wanted to focus on Philip we could have skipped the conflict and found out what happened next through his point of view. What is important is to have good reasons for doing so. Please note, the rest of the story I have just described is personal, the author is free to do what he wants. Good luck. (Google Translate) PS: sorry for the text block, skipping several lines does not work, I hope it is understandable.

This chapter has been deleted.

Mushoku Tensei: Andrei Greyrat

Anime & Comics · Supremo_01

In storytelling, the point of view is a tool at the service of the story and not for the reader or the author. In short, choose a point of view with a precise objective and not something random. However, you are a beginning author, choosing the point of view that you are most comfortable with is a totally acceptable argument. Good continuation. (Google Translate)

This chapter has been deleted.

Mushoku Tensei: Andrei Greyrat

Anime & Comics · Supremo_01

We don't give a damn about Eris' attitude, we already know his personality. What is interesting are the OC (Mc and Kanna) and I am disappointed ... For me the Mc is a good person but also selfish and rational. So this action of emphaty and compassion towards a stranger is weird (be careful !! only the reason not the action itself). I think Mc would have acted the same but for the same reasons. Let me explain: since Mc will be hanging out with Eris for several years, it is useless to worsen their relationship so remaining indifferent to his aggressiveness is the safest reaction. But the chapter itself is tasteless. Waits! Waits! I explain myself by detailing what happens in this chapter. Chronology: - dialogue Mc and Pere by Eris: it is just a normal dialogue where it is presented so there is nothing to say. - MC ride: nothing to say it's just filling (it's not bad as long as it is useful, here we are talking about the environment where the MC will live for several years so I see no problem ) -interaction Mc and Kanna: just a little dialogue without importance so nothing to say - meeting with Eris (The most important moment of the chapter): as I said above this first meeting is disappointed because of the reaction of Mc against nature but especially the reaction of Kana that we totally forget during this meeting . Wtf, she attacks Paul because he attacks Mc but when he is threatened by a little girl no reaction. Anyway, when I saw Mc is passive with Eris, rather than seeing empathy, I rather have the impression that the author wanted him to start well in his relationship with Eris because it is an important character or it's just that the author likes the character. It's a shame that the first meeting with Eris is like this. Good continuation author (Google Translate)

This chapter has been deleted.

Mushoku Tensei: Andrei Greyrat

Anime & Comics · Supremo_01