ECLIPSEN - Profile

umm don't make her a love interest. It will be wierd. I don't know if this is going the harem route. My personal preference would be it doesn't but that's your choice. Anyways have been following this since its release. Very nice story. praise- It's easily one of the best works in this genre I have read. While still not there at versatile superstar levels, it has its own unique charm. You have done an amazing job creating a bit Mary Suish but lovable character and the interactions are genuinely original and funny. The writing is good and has a lot of flair too it. The story as of now hasn't gotten stale. criticism- Is becoming a bit heavy handed with the cutscenes of acting. Earlier they showcased the talent being displayed with a tinge of how the actor or character is being bought out. Now they feel just like cutscenes and that's it. Sometimes it feels like you can't decide what route to take with the story. It feels as if a cohesive plot is lacking as you go off on tangents (maybe that's just me). I would suggest that if this is true though to take a few days off before updating. Think your thoughts and formulate, you don't need to maintain a deadline for yourself.

Dont change character too drastically. Like don't make him a typical Chinese harem, face slapping unrealistic SOB who does whatever he wants without consequence. the best part of this story it protag is atleast remotely human and hasn't completely deroled into a deranged psychopath. If someone is telling you that the protag needs to go that route tell him there are hundreds of novels that do that. (Hollywood made has a section where the author actively states pedophilia is fine). that not going unstable, that just going crazy. it's fine. the story is fine. go down the stable route. stable is good , it means character development done right. you could make the situation chatoic, don't make the character chaotic.

I would like to help but I don't know languages except English and Hindi. If you want someone to grammar check, proof read or anything of that sort I would love to lend a hand. Extremely sorry to hear what happened and gratitude for some great work that you have put out.