honestly you just screwed it up , its like you are closing your eyes and imagining scenarios in your head then writing them , none linear , really out of place , no plot , like a kids fantasy cuz there is no way in hell that Elena would wake up then go '' you are single ? you are mine'' that just doesn't happen , if you really want to write an actual story at least think logically and build up the plot u cant jump from day 1 at school into killing originals and being op because that not what a story is man that's just you throwing scenes and ideas of a childish fantasy that the reader cant really enjoy or even appreciate and I'm not trying to be an ass about it but if you want to '' write a story'' u need a lot of work and a lot of planning and time u cant just throw things together and say this is a story , any case good luck in life and stay safe
ch 0 4 The new hybrid
Fantasy · Reapers_Edge
im lost .... so u jumped from his first day at school t having scott and malia in his pack?... the guy didnt even meet them for gods sake smh , also why the hell would stefan call him then want to kill him? wth is going on with your story man
ch 0 3 The Confession
Fantasy · Reapers_Edge
it gets too messed up and too much gags and the character's personality is just all over the place he would start crying for no reason , get emotional also for stupid things , and tbh mc just sucks with all that cuck bs and kind of ntr scenes and him being ok with them is just eww , also what the hell is with that noble crap like just get it together! and being noble doesn't mean being stupidly good/merciful/kind but what annoys me the most is the personality and mood swings like for god's sake decide on one either make him an ***** with ***** reactions or just make him a kid with no memories of his past life don't make it both cuz other than being confusing af its also god damn annoying !!
Mushoku Tensei Arthur
Anime & Comics · Roxy_Greyrat21