TheImmortalCharles - Profile

...back in the real world. “You! Stop what you’re doing now and surrender!” “Officer, I’m not the criminal. These three were trying to rob me, but I fought back.” “...is this true?” “...yes.” X3 “...since that’s the case, you’re under arrest.” “What? Why me? They tried to rob me!” “Yes, they did. But you were the one who assaulted them.” “...you can’t be serrious!” “Wow, all of that seemingly great education and you never learned that bullies don’t get punished, only the bullied that fight back get in trouble.” “It’s called self defense.” “Everyone who has ever claimed that has still served time, we just stopped allowing it to be used as a defense and crime has gone down. Well, reported crimes. As for you three... either rob someone successfully or don’t try, having to deal with this is annoying and a waste of my time. And if you are successful, don’t forget my cut. Now move it.” “Yes sir, we won’t forget sir.” “Go!” “...I’ll report you for this.” “...now you get to disappear.”

“Ok. First, you have to walk on bricks. Second, you have to train in water. Third, you have to pretend you’re an animal. Fourth, you have to fight wild animals... that’s all I have at the moment. Is that clear?” “...” “...” “...” “...is he touched, in the head?” “...no. At least, I didn’t think so before now.” “...we will pray for guidance and safety for his remaining days.” “...you know I can hear you all.”

Everything is about face! Do you want to improve? Sacrifice face! Did you want to show how great you are? Risk face! Want to build a tank out of a ford? Ask Face for help... wait, that was Murdock not Face.

Wouldn’t it be great if the system gave him a skill for taking verbal punishment, every time the system tells him anything it insults him... nevermind, growing up with asian parents his skill level is already divine level.

One day, if I want to be a protagonist, I need to teach myself how to cook. How else am I going to get that perfect body? First things first, make a ton of money, then buy the proper tools to cook with, learn to cook with tools, give away the tools and money, move somewhere no one knows me, struggle to survive, face hardships, eat poorly, then after all that I’ll get a system... there should be someone who treats me like trash somewhere in there too...

I do love the idea of the mc setting up a genjutsu in narutos room where every time he looks in the mirror he sees the same paint patterns on his face that were on the statues. “Why does this look like what I panted on the first?” *soap and water filled scrubbing* “And done...how? Now it looks like the second...was it under the first paint?” *more vigorous soap and water filled scrubbing* “Now there can’t be any...WHERE IS IT COMING FROM!” *extremely vigorous soap and water filled scrubbing* “...please let it be done...of course it’s the forth pattern.” *despair filled soap and water filled scrubbing* “...thank you, thank you, thank you. I promise I’ll never graffiti again. My face hurts too much.” [words are painted on the wall behind him while he’s looking in the mirror] “...’it’s a genjutsu slowpoke, learn more’... I’ll get you for this Daichi...’try it, this was easy mode’... I’m sorry, I was wrong.” *bows his head*

“Sensei! Help!” “What’s wrong?!” “How do I turn off my sensing ability?!” “What do you mean? Just stop using it.” “I forgot how!” “...how did you forget how!” “I saw something that freaked me out and now I can’t stop! It’s obscene and preverted... and I can’t look away!” “...what do you see?” “The strong individuals are preforming a striping routine for the civilian.” “...what makes that so bad?” “They’re all men! Fat, thin, tall, short, and every combination in between!” “...that’s not so bad-“ “-how can someone who clealy doesn’t exercise at all be so flexible and athletic? The logic of this world is being destroyed right infront of my eyes!” “...you’ll one day see worse, use this to get used to it.” “HOLY $#%¥!!!” “WHAT NOW!” “HOW DO THEY KNOW ABOUT THAT?!?!?!”

I’ve heard of digging your own grave, but who uses an excavator?

*ding* [You have become an S rank Personal Massager] “...” “...at least the ladies will still want you.” “...” “...sorry.” “...” THE END

“...I’ll bite your arm!”

Did you know that the coins you earn expire over time? But if you spend them on unlocking chapters of the trial read books you get the coins back around a month later with their expiration reset. Otherwise...

“...are you ready?” “...yes.” “Here’s the fruit.” “Thank you.” *ding* [How did you get back here so soon?] “...where am I? What happened?” *ding* [You have died, again.] “...$#%+!” *ding* [Maybe you’ll do better in this other world.] “...thanks.” *ding* [Don’t come back so soon.] ‘Wow! That light is bright! Why is my hand pink?’ “Super Spirit Bomb!” ”...$#%+!” *ding* [WHAT DID I JUST SAY!]