See this! I just gifted the story: Inspiration capsule
ch 85 A Whole New World
LGBT+ · Aries_Monx
the greatest thing a father can say to his son
Father snorted. "I can imagine." He rubbed his chin with a wide smile. " What? You think I don't hear you muttering that each time a pretty chick and her kid passes by? You think I don't understand my son's fetishes? You think I don't understand my own? No, how could I NOT have understood you, son? To even come up with such a great acronym takes a level of passion which demands recognition. Yes, I admit that much. Yet to think you believed yourself the only one able to comprehend the meaning of such a glorious word..."The man shook his head is derision. "Too naive. You weren't even a twinkle in my eye when I was teasing young widows and comforting lonely housewives!" He boasted, chuckling with untamed vigor.
Fantasy · AnonCommander
Lots of potential and the story has some good structure but it feels more like a rough draft then a finished story. trying to introduce so many characters leaves them all feeling as if they have little importance, conversation fell cutoff and forced with no build up and no explanation on why character who talk to one another are even present Layla by Ch11 feels like a figment of imagination because we don't know how she looks like or even her backstory or anything just that's she's present for some reason. the powers seem cool so no problem their but it just seems like the MC is trying to do too much with them too early, forms for various situation usually come up because the character eventually gets stumped by a problem they didn't account for and have to adapt. build up is the most major problem, no transitions between scenes or even an explanation on why a character is present at certain locations is given leaving a reader wondering when did some even become a part of the scene and why should i care that their present. All in all i like a lot of ideas just need more polishing of writing skill, hope the story get more stable in writing quality.
Bio-Force Field in Worm
Book&Literature · ASJ_ASJ