the way you set the scene gives too much detail on other characters. like the waiter in this chapter.there really was no point in explaining how pretty she was since she isn't a main plot character. also, not over explaining character appearance can help readers get a mental image they like more. since not many people have the same "taste". I do think your story has good potential. so I'm not trying to be mean or anything. just an observation.
ch 0 1 CHAPTER 1
Urban · black_flowertrend
it's too over the top in detailing.
ch 0 1 CHAPTER 1
Urban · black_flowertrend
aww roundy is so eager to learn
Let me try, let me try again!
Fantasy · Yan Shi
arghhhh love this story too much now [img=update]
ch 55 This Was Not Logical
Fantasy · Yan Shi
grammar error on the "5o"
He didn't say anything and prepared 5o get off the carriage. Afterwards, he turned towards Zhao Ming and stretched out his hand for her to hold on and get down as well.
Fantasy · Kamlyn
lol the last line "accidentally" amazing
ch 110 A Slap in the Face at the Banquet (1)
Urban · Mr. Yan
thank you. I appreciate being listened to. I can't wait.
ch 0 1 CHAPTER 1
The Reborn Wife Of The Tyrant CEO
Urban · black_flowertrend