- 0 d Continuous Writing
- - h of Reading
- 850 Read books
HFritzH
LV 2Badges 2
Moments 13
That you had to justify yourself in the comments shows that you didn't write it well. The MC has internal thoughts, and you just skipped the thoughts of the plans. And this is the beginning of the story, so we don't know the personality of the MC Which makes you an unreliable narrator, and readers who want a light read don't really like that narration, there is already a lot of variety of stories to read, and to save time we discard stories according to the personality of the Mc or the ways he narrates. .
ch 12 Intimidating
Undying Warlord
Action · HideousGrain
If he wants to have some kind of official power, that only belongs to him. I think this is the only way to ascend socially.
Well, the days following the Tournament have been, eventful. I turned down the offer of Knighthood, mostly on moral grounds. Someone shouldn't be rewarded for being fast or strong, but for being known for protecting those who can't protect themselves.
Captain America Thaws out in Westeros
Movies · OrangePanther
I'm hating the way you portray his personality, because you bothered to create a past in which he's over 100 years old, and also spent countless years in the reincarnation test, but sometimes you portray him as mature and patient, but other times as a teenager who can't hide his emotions. It's really irritating when you do the latter, because it creates an inconsistent character. The same thing happens with Selene, who at the beginning you showed her with a personality that made it impossible for her to hide her fear, terror, anxiety, etc. But now she is the perfect assassin who knows how to hide all the emotions. I hope you take it as a constructive criticism.
"230 Maest crystals?? That's...161 Maest crystals with the discount. We can finally eat something again!!!"
Spirit Soul
Urban · HideousGrain
It is not to develop feelings, and be casual.
Her… what was her name again. Something with Ka… it was just at the tip of his tongue as well. If he could use Occlumency then he knew he would be able to remember but was there a point.
HP transmigrated into Domeric Bolton (GOT and HP crossover)
TV · Fortunate_Soul
I find the change of point of view very confusing, it changes very often
ch 18 Birth of Greed
Undying Warlord
Action · HideousGrain