lairfin - Profile

Disappointed by the development of the story. Horror is a tricky topic, telling a character is afraid does not suffice to render an horrific atmosphere. We end up in a light tone and unoriginal system novel.

The world building is terrific, the story leads you where you don’t expect. However the MC’s depression arcs are killing a bit the tempo. Once is okay, but we get it again and again... Another minor complaint : world building of the dregs, those inconsistent numbers about liters and demography (just think about the number of corpses they get) are a little petpeaves for me. If it’s published in books i suggest to review this points a bit.

Hi, a little feedback while I’m dropping the novel after chapter 15. There are repetitive breaks of tense, and confusions in the pronouns of the MC. Those are not prohibitive but the novel might benefit from correcting these.I was coming with expectations about the genre of the novel. First chapter feels optionnal, second chapter would have made a better start right into action. Then we are immersed in the usual school life but still no sign of systems. World is built around the disappearance of demons, with angels. Suddenly they’re taught about space warriors and aliens. I believe you’ll introduce the system soon after but it’s too late for me and the mix of genres is a little bit too much for my obtuse mind. I believe mentioning just fragments of these elements in chapter 2 and 3 would have smoothen things up. Hope that feedback will help you in future works. Good luck and perseverance!