From third person perspective at the start of the paragraph at the end of the chapter to first person perspective, without transition. Changing perspectives with no warning to the reader is not good writing, this is confusing to the reader. I realize this comment is most likely going to be deleted, but if you're serious about becoming a published professional author, you will be expected to take criticism when it is due, it will be your editors job to make sure you make changes to your writing when necessary for the understanding of your readers. Author started the paragraph with, "The first recognizable person was Wilted Rose. I..." Who is I? Who recognized Wilted Rose, the omniscient author? I had to re-read this entire end of the chapter to realize who was speaking by elimination of number of people who are supposed to be in the room (3 guilds) Munchies, Dark Blade are mentioned, before realizing it must be Wilted Rose who is speaking.
ch 43 Finding The Hermit Flint III
Games · easyread
Pornographic Content Hate or bullying Release of personal info Violence Spam Other
Webnovel
From third person perspective at the start of the paragraph at the end of the chapter to first person perspective, without transition. Changing perspectives with no warning to the reader is not good writing, this is confusing to the reader. I realize this comment is most likely going to be deleted, but if you're serious about becoming a published professional author, you will be expected to take criticism when it is due, it will be your editors job to make sure you make changes to your writing when necessary for the understanding of your readers. Author started the paragraph with, "The first recognizable person was Wilted Rose. I..." Who is I? Who recognized Wilted Rose, the omniscient author? I had to re-read this entire end of the chapter to realize who was speaking by elimination of number of people who are supposed to be in the room (3 guilds) Munchies, Dark Blade are mentioned, before realizing it must be Wilted Rose who is speaking.
ch 43 Finding The Hermit Flint III
The Ancients World
Games · easyread