Badges 5
Moments 6
3yr
Commented Maybe separate the last 3 sentences to make it more dramatic?
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The Hidden Alpha
Fantasy · Kristii_Holmes
3yr
Commented Great story, I’m interested to see what else will happen next. Just a recommendation though, a few more spaces and commas in the longer paragraphs of the story will make it easier to read. I would also recommend a bigger distinction between the dialogue and the story, maybe more spaces. The story is clean and most of my recommendations are on the spacing and commas. Maybe an introduction to the world and history soon would be good?
This chapter has been deleted.
The Hidden Alpha
Fantasy · Kristii_Holmes
3yr
Commented I think drug should be dragged.
This chapter has been deleted.
The Hidden Alpha
Fantasy · Kristii_Holmes
3yr
Commented What does chér mean? Maybe an note on what that means.
This chapter has been deleted.
The Hidden Alpha
Fantasy · Kristii_Holmes
Maybe differentiate thoughts from story?
The Hidden Alpha
Fantasy · Kristii_Holmes