Oh boy, where to start... Capitalize important places, use ctrl+alt+num- after "there's Ray" Turning it into "there's Ray—an 18 years old...blah blah."
Do not overuse the " 's" as it sounds lazy. this is the first paragraph.
Heck, even my grammar program is having a hay day. if you ever get on how to word something, look in books or others content. Or shove out $380 (estimated) for Grammarly. It will train you.
AridasWolf
Check the review for new link
Fantasy · Diablo0_0