- 0 d Continuous Writing
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WhitCrayone
male LV 15Just a White Crayon
2018-09-29 Joined United StatesBadges 13
Moments 39
Love the introducing and characterization going on but I think it would be more effective to let the reader make that connection on their own, as we already know he’s from a merchant family. Yknow, a show don’t tell situation of sorts.
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Spirit’s Awakening: The Path of Lightning and Water
Fantasy · JPNovelFan
3 days without water might kill you actually. Google says 2-7 days but with blood loss and energy used to heal I’d say it’s on the shorter side
Although three days without food and water may not necessarily lead to death,
Undead God: I Can Extract Everything
Games · Angry Smile
More than soft hearted mc is literally brain dead, dropping the book
"I'm really soft-hearted."
Damn, I Awakened With A Horror System!
Fantasy · Master_OfDao
Good
The Death of Skeleton #1.
Damn, I Awakened With A Horror System!
Fantasy · Master_OfDao
Making its life harder isn’t enough you can’t have a subordinate that literally tries to kill you
Leo grumbled under his breath as he immediately used the Medallion of Forceful Upgrade to upgrade the "Restrain" skill, not forgetting to vow that he would make the life of Skeleton #1 much harder from now on!
Damn, I Awakened With A Horror System!
Fantasy · Master_OfDao
Absolutely not, if he doesn’t kill the skeleton I’m dropping the book, nobody sane would keep around a subordinate that plots against them, that’s just asking for something to go wrong
Leo angrily thought upon remembering everything. However, even though he was extremely furious, seeing the pain the skeleton was experiencing and looking at withered surroundings, Leo immediately activated his restrain skill.
Damn, I Awakened With A Horror System!
Fantasy · Master_OfDao
I’m seeing this a lot where it says on his/her/their back when something is happening behind someone, idk if it’s already been fixed in later chapters but on someone’s back would mean it’s happening on top of someone which is a funny image but saying behind them instead of on their back would be much more correct. Love the story!
Meters away on his back, a metallic clinking sound resounded followed by the sight of a huge 2-meter tall black thin legs penetrating the charred vines of the demon plant that hit Roland's shield.
Damn, I Awakened With A Horror System!
Fantasy · Master_OfDao
Pretty sure stuff like that is WNs anti plagiarism or whatever, not the author
[A/N: Heyho. The Author is back. I'm curious about some things, but I don't wanna throw everything out here. However, one thing I have to ask. Did you notice a major difference in the chapter's quality throughout the last few weeks, or is it still the same. -> That's mostly about grammar and stuff like that, not the story itself (Though I'm also curious if you think that the story's quality decreased of if it's 'stable')]
Supreme Lord: I can extract everything!
Fantasy · HideousGrain
It says tell on my screen, probably WNs anti piracy thing
"I can already tell what you guys want." He hated himself for what he was going to do and sighed heavily.
Supreme Lord: I can extract everything!
Fantasy · HideousGrain
These were all named scrolls so I’d assume there wouldn’t be any beasts. Tho an animal archer would be funny. You’re right tho the beasts have been less common recently
Nonetheless, Michael was glad that most new Summons were Berserkers and Warlock Centaurs. They were much easier to handle since they were happy about the upcoming battles against the Council of Xylon.
Supreme Lord: I can extract everything!
Fantasy · HideousGrain
It’s so clearly on purpose what are you even talking about, get off of your high horse and realize that this is a book that hasn’t gone through any editing process as I’m sure the author doesn’t have an editor. Of course there will be typos. Nobody is forcing you to point them all out or correct them. You’re not doing a charity and nobody asked you to do so. If you think so little of the author why are you reading it?
There was no way that he would be able to advance to Tier-2 to slaughter the Tier-2 Monster anytime soon. It might take decades IF he had enough money to spend all day for the next few years in a training hall with origin energy generators. Unfortunately, he didn't have that kind of money.
Supreme Lord: I can extract everything!
Fantasy · HideousGrain
Maybe you should take me saying something as a sign that your inability to just enjoy something the author put a lot of work into is ruining other people’s experience. You’re not being helpful you’re just being annoying.
Michael shuddered for a moment and picked up some distraction. He resumed reading the daily report where a bunch of interesting things were written down.
Supreme Lord: I can extract everything!
Fantasy · HideousGrain
Lots of things are used colloquially that aren’t necessarily grammatically perfect. Unless the author specifically asked you to do so, picking apart the novel looking for grammatical errors like you’re some kind of English professor and this is an essay is just unnecessary.
Michael shuddered for a moment and picked up some distraction. He resumed reading the daily report where a bunch of interesting things were written down.
Supreme Lord: I can extract everything!
Fantasy · HideousGrain
Bro some things are genuine errors which is fine but some things are just writing styles, what was written works fine, if you don’t like how it’s written don’t read it
Michael shuddered for a moment and picked up some distraction. He resumed reading the daily report where a bunch of interesting things were written down.
Supreme Lord: I can extract everything!
Fantasy · HideousGrain
Star rating is related to strength before death, achievements, and potential
His eyes traveled to the teenager, the youth's War Rune, to be precise. The War Rune was much smaller than ordinary War Runes. It looked more like a mole than an actual War Rune.
Supreme Lord: I can extract everything!
Fantasy · HideousGrain
As a race more attuned to the fire element one could assume that water element traits would be rare, but possible. Or artifacts that produce water possibly
He was going to drown…die of suffocation tens of kilometers away from the closest river.
Supreme Lord: I can extract everything!
Fantasy · HideousGrain
Either way this story has lost me, this chapter has been a pain to read and has so many holes it’s ruined my immersion, dropping the book now
The opponent's strength was unfathomable, at least a Throne-level existence. With such a powerful enemy emerging, it would be difficult for him to easily slay the Light's Lawlord in the upcoming battle.
Deities: Starting From Goblins
Games · Gray Ashes
I thought only mythic and below were allowed to enter, how are there throne levels?
The Radiant Clan's strong ones couldn't just sit and watch, especially the Throne Strong Individuals. They wanted to wipe out the Goblin Legion in one fell swoop, as they had dared to provoke the Radiant Tribe so brazenly.
Deities: Starting From Goblins
Games · Gray Ashes
Nah it’s just good old gaslighting
The Radiant Clan is based on the [Holy Corpse]. Do you understand? Corpses! If by accident, the Throne Level and High-ranking Oversteps within the clan are infected with corpse energy and are rendered useless, isn't that very normal? Why were they fine before? Naturally, it was because of the resources granted by the Blue Star Civilization that they were fine! Aren't you grateful for the great kindness of the Blue Star Civilization? Your allied civilizations will never be able to repay the kindness of the Blue Star Civilization in a lifetime! What? How were you fine before you encountered the Blue Star Civilization? You dare ask again!?
Deities: Starting From Goblins
Games · Gray Ashes
I mean, they are all 8 years old
The clerk smiled warmly, clearly used to dealing with new students. "Ah, you must be new here. Academy points can be earned from participating in the regular trials, performing well in class, and completing missions from the mission hall. The more points you earn, the more items you can purchase from the academy store."
Spirit’s Awakening: The Path of Lightning and Water
Fantasy · JPNovelFan