Faibani - Profile

last 3 chapters had WAAAAAY too much history and background information, no one needs 500 words about the character of Tywin becase no one reads a fanfic when you dont know the world or have at least watched the series or read the books.

good chapter

"The Beam traveld 500 Kilometers " i highly doubt that, i guess meters?

is there any chance you find a Way to Distinguish the Talk between Tun and Jon So the reader knows he is not talking with a bird in the sky with his Mouth but with his mind? like "< Tun you see anything?> " or Write in italic or " 'Tun you see anything?' " just using the "" like in normal Speech is realy confusing like with whom he is talking with ? and then yeah with Tun .. but why no one quistion the lunatic who speaks while walking around? Please its such a smal change with a big impact when Jon is Comunicating with his Animals. Thanks

i agree ,this whole Labyrinth with hIstory stuff is a huge skip for me .

i Realy like the Story as well, Critque should come along with Propositons and offers and a reason behind it only then someone can discuss it if the author so Desirers. im a Bakerymaster and i accept you cant make anything that 100% of people like , i aim with my bread and Pastrys for like 80% like 800 from 1000 People would enjoy what i make. You have always uneducated sows that enjoy the 1$ bread of a suppermarket or other cheap inferior Products even when they can afford the more Pricy bread (no hate against the poor i dont talk/insult them). End of Day Enjoy the good feedback and take Pride in your work.

the lacn of dragons or the alone part in the synopsis is a concern

free cissy

i know that a normal horse is 10 Silver and in his Mind its okay buying passage for 40 gold? mc cant be that dumb.

this story gets more confusing as heck...

the time shifting perspectives and recaps make the story more confusing than anything. Making the "timeline" Activitys a Mess. Just tell happenings as they happen, ther was not once a üast scene that cleared anything.

Why write Anbushes when Meaning Anbu !? making no sense

any chance name the Werwolves into skinchanger or wargs?

insane how this storry has 4.66 stars. The Names alone lets you puke blood .. KRAM?!?!? DUDE what is this

what is "On Behalf of Daeron" mean? like PoV ??can you not invent the tire a new? i saw you had already another story running and you still make rooki mistakes. Please seperate Thougt 'i think' and Speaking "i tell you" chapter 1 i think thats a problem

can you please copy paste your chapters into "Grammarly" thats a free tool for writers to check there works . you have so many silly sentenses it kills the reading flow completly.

someone to check on your sentences would be cool . some just make no sense.

is this ai Written or Translatet? Different names are thrown about like candy.... realy trash to read