jefferypeter69 - Profile

at least try indicating how old your characters are or your mc

author please are 8years old kindergarten children in your country? that's really surprising, I know it's a fantasy novel, your also adding a touch of realism in it so it doesn't make sense if at all 2 adult would leave an 8yrs old to fend for himself and another human, that's said you should have made it that's he would lie about is parent leaving, cause aren't their child services in China, who pick up kids without parent or foster parents.. I know it's a fantasy world but author if your going to put a tip of realism in it, you might as well make it sensible, cause the whole plot sounds really idiotic, with the kid not even bothering about sch as well, even if he's an adult In a child's body I mean your fantasy world do follow rules and your story should also make some things clare about the world your trying to portray to us the readers technical to our reading and relatable make it primary to we the readers would know how the world in your world works

author please are 8years old kindergarten children in your country? that's really surprising, I know it's a fantasy novel, your also adding a touch of realism in it so it doesn't make sense if at all 2 adult would leave an 8yrs old to fend for himself and another human, that's said you should have made it that's he would lie about is parent leaving, cause aren't their child services in China, who pick up kids without parent or foster parents.. I know it's a fantasy world but author if your going to put a tip of realism in it, you might as well make it sensible, cause the whole plot sounds really idiotic, with the kid not even bothering about sch as well, even if he's an adult In a child's body I mean your fantasy world do follow rules and your story should also make some things clare about the world your trying to portray to us the readers technical to our reading and relatable make it primary to we the readers would know how the world in your world works

if the mc really studied the human body he would know where and how to counter the offences

if the mc really studied the human body he would know where and how to counter the offences

this is cliché, what's with, " that hair and eyes is he also a genius... so are you trying to say every persons with rear physical appearance is a genius in the book, I mean you said from what I have read so far from your the first chapter till this one it's obvious is hair is rear but not totally unseen, and does this team mate of his have to think that only geniuses can not be hit

there has not been any where, the mc used is advanced or enhance knowledge to is advantage, it he learnt human anatomy he should be able of some things

your book is beautiful every chapter is wonderful, I wish you could release we chapters more often

would have given some stones and spirt coin, if that's what's it's called . but each chapters are just too I hope your take the review into consideration

at least make the main character firm, to stand up again the head of the council, he's the general of the army, at least give him some spine

I thought you said his hair turned white are you a confused writer

please and why must ever person have a silver white hair, you need to fix your novel, if you want the mc to stand out then you won't make it so come, I Eman the air colour

dude does he have black hair or white, cause you keep moving back and forth with white and black just this chapter you said back, but I thought his hair turned white in the previous chapter ,,

please just go read enough books first, to up your writing skill, cause I think you don't ready what you write, even you won't enjoy the book you write, there are lots of thing that aren't adding up, you might be an up coming writer it's quite alright, but the act of writing also strongly depends on reading,

really you had to repeat the same chapter, imagine me flipping the finger

dude in your early chapters you said Kyle was a vampire now he's a werewolf dude aren't you reading what your writing

what does this even mean " the lady doesn't see him as and outsider" are you dense, someone your a team with and you just fought a beast with and you think that line was really good ? so would she feel uncomfortable, with him when she's got more important thing to worry about and she ain't the only lady there, dude you need up your writing skills, or story telling... words can't even criticize this nonsense am reading