Batic - Profile

See this! I just gifted the story: Ice cola

See this! I just gifted the story: Pizza

I found it distracted from the flow of the story. Let's be realistic, if you enjoy this style of story, you are typically not going to be upset by a mild depiction of blood.

Definitely a different way to get a top villain. Good so far.

The motorcycle was a beast of a machine, capable of taking him to speeds. What kind of speeds, needs expanded, ie, - of over a 150 kmh, or - that were totally insane. Just as examples.

This seems to be a different take than what you usually see.

Okay, so who crashed the system.

Interesting, very interesting.[img=recommend]

Looking forward to more.[img=update]

I actually prefer weak to strong with strong character development in the early stages. The biggest difficulty with this genre is the pacing, IE, keeping the MC just strong enough to overcome the obstacles with a strong effort. I think that you are progressing well so far. Keep it up !! : )

Seems to be a different type of start. Interested in seeing what is going to happen.

To the people wondering about still using firearms in 2110. Wounding by flinging small bits of metal at high speed most likely will still be the most economical way to injure an opponent. And using a confined explosion will still be the cheapest and most compact way to do it for a very long time.

Liking your story very much, especially the John Ringo Kildar vibe, there at the end.

Actually I think that your writing is very good, especially at this stage of your writing career. The biggest complaint that I would have would be the spelling errors, if you are not sure of the spelling and are sounding it out while spelling, jot it down on a piece of paper so that you don't break your flow, then come back at the end of the session and run it through a spell-check or do a search on it, then go back and correct it in the story. Another thing would be to run each chapter through a spell / grammar checker before posting, this will catch most mistakes and make the finished chapter look more professional. Kep up the good work and KEEP ON WRITIN!

It feels like the author is still trying to find his groove before really digging in for the full story ride.

More,please.

haven't seen this approach in a while, looks good. Some of the writings a little rough, but looks like it is improving. Mostly just little things like repeated words, or spelling or usage errors. Still better than 90% of what I find on the novel sites. Good job and keep it coming!