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OukisLips: How are Felicia and Natasha “faking” being hostages if Loki has the mind controlling staff?Black Soldier · C18
Black Soldier · C18
Born With The Evolution System
noobageddon_: Everything else is good, if you ignore the romance. He pair mc with allison(ch5). How did she even come to like scott in the first place?? Just to follow canon?? Also with how they get together is kinda low, it feels like mc destroys allison image of scott and steal her. Its not even an hour them she decide ‘really’ break up with scott and she throw herself to mc. Also allison got mc on the hook. (If you read the this ff youll understand my questions)
Well probably will be back after sometime, but for now im out.Born With The Evolution System
ZiaZombie: Really liking your story, my only qualm is Allison. I honestly believe you could make a better person for him to be with if that is to happen for romance. NOT trying to say she's a bad pick, personally I feel you could make a way better character. However this feels like it can't happen any time soon since you have been writing the story focused around these two characters. Ultimately Allison did pick Scott over the main character, this is the primary reason why I can't see her as a primary love interest, she even said she was ready to cross the line with Scott even when she was having second doubts. Loss of virginity to a girl or even a man is special to people. She was willing to give it to Scott what does this make the MC as nothing more than a second choice. I really love the character you have been writing, he is however starting to feel similar to a dog that's sole duty is to protect their master. The relationship with Allison needs to be fixed, what is stopping her from using the MC as a rebound and go back to Scott, relationships in real life are like that especially when the two people are still in love with each other which they are, if your going by source material. I am enjoying your story so far so keep up the good work!Born With The Evolution System · C6
Deal_With_It: The MC name objectively kinda isn't good and you keep talking about stats but you haven't put up a character sheet or compared stats since like the first few chapters.Born With The Evolution System · C6
Deal_With_It: Breaking up at Scott and dating another dude the next day doesn't seem like what she would do.Born With The Evolution System · C5
NoFace_: I think Author loves ntr and loved watching his wife getting fu.cked by other dudesBorn With The Evolution System · C5
DaoOfNothing: i am talking about not listening to his part of the story and it's not easy to say "hey i am werewolf" and i don't think she know about the kiss
what i want to say that she didn't break up with scott in the right wayBorn With The Evolution System · C5
ErozothDraeor: So killer of innocents and children, aka Kate gets a free pass?Born With The Evolution System · C5
lucifer_brightest: I feel your pain. I've been trying to find one for so long but it's always the same thing with the same hoesBorn With The Evolution System · C5
BeiFeng: Man I am so disappointed in this novel it seems I will never find a **** wolf fanfic where the mc doesn't go after the whore Lydia the bitchy Allison or the need to die and piss on the Ashes Kate Fucking Argent so disappointing😔Born With The Evolution System · C5
DaoOfNothing: worst kind of a girl because she didn't listen to the two sides and the worst she kissed another guy when she with someone else
selfish .... untrustworthy .... (bitc*)Born With The Evolution System · C5
Kalafijor: this alisson is bit c h ,she would cheat on him right away, and i think author will ntr mc ......Born With The Evolution System · C5
OukisLips: But why is he so attached to Allison to the point that he's willing to be her back-up plan? I'd get it if he were a real love rival to Scott but it seems she just uses Ris as a rebound and he has no issues with it. I'm fine with no harem, but the romance you're building here doesn't do much to help the progression of the story either. Unless the point is to alienate the readers from Allison, but from what I can tell it seems you plan to make her the MC's main love interestBorn With The Evolution System · C4
Niks: I don't really like the harem route in stories .
Kind of spoils the progression often .
Also the indecisiveness of the MC is for him to find his own identity as to what he wants to do.
So far it was because he was trying to juggle his friends, his supernatural identity and his mysterious father's legacy
But now he has found an anchor and a goal in d form of AllisonBorn With The Evolution System · C4
OukisLips: Instinctively I am annoyed with the MC's indecisiveness. But then I remember he's not a reincarnated person like most novels on this site. He's just a normal(?) teenage boy.
Thinking back to my teenage years, I can remember a few girls that I liked despite them being the type to play the field. Although it'd be cooler if the MC was a super mature stud who didn't take **** from women, this way is more realistic...Born With The Evolution System · C4
Born With The Evolution System · C4
Tishirou: his relationship with allison is very annoyingBorn With The Evolution System · C4
Kalafijor: what the fu ck are u doing with this **** alison?? she will be playing on 2 side with scoot and ris? are u out of mind , fu ck this....Born With The Evolution System · C4
Kilaske: Indecisiveness is starting to get irritating. Neutral/Not Neutral. Doesn't Like Allison/ Likes Allison.
Is Allison going for the harem route? Reverse harem?Born With The Evolution System · C4
JakeElliott: Is this just not the **** wolf gamer fanfic someone made?Born With The Evolution System · C3
OukisLips: The Gamer in Teen Wolf. This author is just blatantly copying it so farBorn With The Evolution System · C2
Fellow_Daiost: What story?Born With The Evolution System · C2
Deal_With_It: I'm enjoying the story and like yours better but plz stop copying and pasting from the other Teen Wolf story.Born With The Evolution System · C2
Fellow_Daiost: Sincerely, the best fic of Teen Wolf I'm
ever see.Born With The Evolution System · C1
FBI_B1TCH: Just a tip, you shouldn't put back and forth dialogue within a single paragraph.Black Soldier · C12
Kilaske: Mc is a dummy. He should've asked for a date instead. Better to have the real one, instead of staring at a picture.Black Soldier · C5
d3mon1988: Don't let SHEILD OR ANYONE TO SCREW THIS PLEASEEEEE AND LET HIM LEARN FROM ANCIENT ONE😊Black Soldier · C4
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