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OukisLips: How are Felicia and Natasha “faking” being hostages if Loki has the mind controlling staff?

Black Soldier · C18
23 hours ago
How are Felicia and Natasha “faking” being hostages if Loki has the mind controlling staff? View More
Black Soldier · C18
23 hours ago
Reading Status: C10
The first three chapters are essentially a copy of "The Gamer in Teen Wolf." From that point on, the fanfiction becomes more original. But somehow that makes it worse. The focus becomes the "romance" between the MC and Allison, which is beyond forced. And the MC is beyond beta when it comes to Allison. At least Beta describes a human being (or werewolf in this case), whereas the MC essentially becomes Allison's dog the moment they meet, to the point that he'd take her side over his friends' of many years. Even when Allison goes out with Scott and keeps the MC on a backburner relationship, he still acts like her dog. Nothing about the character interactions in this fanfiction is believable. View More
Born With The Evolution System
1 day ago

noobageddon_: Everything else is good, if you ignore the romance. He pair mc with allison(ch5). How did she even come to like scott in the first place?? Just to follow canon?? Also with how they get together is kinda low, it feels like mc destroys allison image of scott and steal her. Its not even an hour them she decide ‘really’ break up with scott and she throw herself to mc. Also allison got mc on the hook. (If you read the this ff youll understand my questions)


Well probably will be back after sometime, but for now im out.

Born With The Evolution System
1 day ago

ZiaZombie: Really liking your story, my only qualm is Allison. I honestly believe you could make a better person for him to be with if that is to happen for romance. NOT trying to say she's a bad pick, personally I feel you could make a way better character. However this feels like it can't happen any time soon since you have been writing the story focused around these two characters. Ultimately Allison did pick Scott over the main character, this is the primary reason why I can't see her as a primary love interest, she even said she was ready to cross the line with Scott even when she was having second doubts. Loss of virginity to a girl or even a man is special to people. She was willing to give it to Scott what does this make the MC as nothing more than a second choice. I really love the character you have been writing, he is however starting to feel similar to a dog that's sole duty is to protect their master. The relationship with Allison needs to be fixed, what is stopping her from using the MC as a rebound and go back to Scott, relationships in real life are like that especially when the two people are still in love with each other which they are, if your going by source material. I am enjoying your story so far so keep up the good work!

Born With The Evolution System · C6
1 day ago

Deal_With_It: The MC name objectively kinda isn't good and you keep talking about stats but you haven't put up a character sheet or compared stats since like the first few chapters.

Born With The Evolution System · C6
1 day ago

Deal_With_It: Breaking up at Scott and dating another dude the next day doesn't seem like what she would do.

Born With The Evolution System · C5
1 day ago

NoFace_: I think Author loves ntr and loved watching his wife getting fu.cked by other dudes

Born With The Evolution System · C5
1 day ago

DaoOfNothing: i am talking about not listening to his part of the story and it's not easy to say "hey i am werewolf" and i don't think she know about the kiss

what i want to say that she didn't break up with scott in the right way

Born With The Evolution System · C5
1 day ago

ErozothDraeor: So killer of innocents and children, aka Kate gets a free pass?

Born With The Evolution System · C5
1 day ago

lucifer_brightest: I feel your pain. I've been trying to find one for so long but it's always the same thing with the same hoes

Born With The Evolution System · C5
1 day ago

BeiFeng: Man I am so disappointed in this novel it seems I will never find a **** wolf fanfic where the mc doesn't go after the whore Lydia the bitchy Allison or the need to die and piss on the Ashes Kate Fucking Argent so disappointing😔

Born With The Evolution System · C5
1 day ago

DaoOfNothing: worst kind of a girl because she didn't listen to the two sides and the worst she kissed another guy when she with someone else

selfish .... untrustworthy .... (bitc*)

Born With The Evolution System · C5
1 day ago

Kalafijor: this alisson is bit c h ,she would cheat on him right away, and i think author will ntr mc ......

Born With The Evolution System · C5
1 day ago

OukisLips: But why is he so attached to Allison to the point that he's willing to be her back-up plan? I'd get it if he were a real love rival to Scott but it seems she just uses Ris as a rebound and he has no issues with it. I'm fine with no harem, but the romance you're building here doesn't do much to help the progression of the story either. Unless the point is to alienate the readers from Allison, but from what I can tell it seems you plan to make her the MC's main love interest

Born With The Evolution System · C4
1 day ago
But why is he so attached to Allison to the point that he's willing to be her back-up plan? I'd get it if he were a real love rival to Scott but it seems she just uses Ris as a rebound and he has no issues with it. I'm fine with no harem, but the romance you're building here doesn't do much to help the progression of the story either. Unless the point is to alienate the readers from Allison, but from what I can tell it seems you plan to make her the MC's main love interest View More

Niks: I don't really like the harem route in stories .
Kind of spoils the progression often .
Also the indecisiveness of the MC is for him to find his own identity as to what he wants to do.
So far it was because he was trying to juggle his friends, his supernatural identity and his mysterious father's legacy
But now he has found an anchor and a goal in d form of Allison

Born With The Evolution System · C4
1 day ago

OukisLips: Instinctively I am annoyed with the MC's indecisiveness. But then I remember he's not a reincarnated person like most novels on this site. He's just a normal(?) teenage boy.
Thinking back to my teenage years, I can remember a few girls that I liked despite them being the type to play the field. Although it'd be cooler if the MC was a super mature stud who didn't take **** from women, this way is more realistic...

Born With The Evolution System · C4
1 day ago
Instinctively I am annoyed with the MC's indecisiveness. But then I remember he's not a reincarnated person like most novels on this site. He's just a normal(?) teenage boy.
Thinking back to my teenage years, I can remember a few girls that I liked despite them being the type to play the field. Although it'd be cooler if the MC was a super mature stud who didn't take **** from women, this way is more realistic... View More
Born With The Evolution System · C4
1 day ago

Tishirou: his relationship with allison is very annoying

Born With The Evolution System · C4
1 day ago

Kalafijor: what the fu ck are u doing with this **** alison?? she will be playing on 2 side with scoot and ris? are u out of mind , fu ck this....

Born With The Evolution System · C4
1 day ago

Kilaske: Indecisiveness is starting to get irritating. Neutral/Not Neutral. Doesn't Like Allison/ Likes Allison.
Is Allison going for the harem route? Reverse harem?

Born With The Evolution System · C4
1 day ago

JakeElliott: Is this just not the **** wolf gamer fanfic someone made?

Born With The Evolution System · C3
1 day ago

OukisLips: The Gamer in Teen Wolf. This author is just blatantly copying it so far

Born With The Evolution System · C2
1 day ago
The Gamer in Teen Wolf. This author is just blatantly copying it so far View More

Fellow_Daiost: What story?

Born With The Evolution System · C2
1 day ago

Deal_With_It: I'm enjoying the story and like yours better but plz stop copying and pasting from the other Teen Wolf story.

Born With The Evolution System · C2
1 day ago

Fellow_Daiost: Sincerely, the best fic of Teen Wolf I'm
ever see.

Born With The Evolution System · C1
1 day ago

FBI_B1TCH: Just a tip, you shouldn't put back and forth dialogue within a single paragraph.

Black Soldier · C12
1 day ago

Kilaske: Mc is a dummy. He should've asked for a date instead. Better to have the real one, instead of staring at a picture.

Black Soldier · C5
2 days ago

d3mon1988: Don't let SHEILD OR ANYONE TO SCREW THIS PLEASEEEEE AND LET HIM LEARN FROM ANCIENT ONE😊

Black Soldier · C4
2 days ago

Chin1234: Why’d you have to make mc an idiot? How can he be failing multiple classes with a cousin like Peter around?

Black Soldier · C4
2 days ago
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