>Night City is the harem. Well, that's mighty disappointing. I'm not gonna give you any grief but many people will if this pops off, it is sorta fake advertising. Either way, good luck with the fic.
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Video Games · JManM
I vote for none, they all sound pretty bland to begin with anyways.
ch 65 Suggestions (Not a chapter)
Anime & Comics · Kisshot
It's already better. Now if you could separate the narration from the dialogue into their own lines rather than 1 continuous paragraph it'd be even better.
ch 0 1 Chapter 10 A Day Of Training
Video Games · PowerArmorGuy
He says her name way too much. Imagine having a conversation with someone, do you say their name every other sentence? Saying once or twice to make it obvious who you're talking to but otherwise "you" or not mentioning her at all is better. The only time her name should be spoken is at the start of a dialogue segment or when the MC himself is trying to get her attention. Also format this a bit, it's hard to read. Start every dialogue on a new line, Don't stick everything in a huge paragraph. [Narration goes here] >Dialogue from character 1 goes here >Dialogue from character 2 goes here >Dialogue from character 1 goes here [Back to Narration] >Dialogue 1 >Dialogue 2
ch 0 1 Chapter 10 A Day Of Training
Video Games · PowerArmorGuy
I'm basing this from his inner monologue of which there is plenty. He does nothing else but obsess over stats and traits and even when he monologues about somebody, it's very impersonal or how to use them in the future. As I've said, so far he comes out as some sort of obsessed sociopath that simply can't connect with other people.
ch 0 1 Chapter 6 Preparations
Video Games · PowerArmorGuy
He feels to robotic I guess? Or the author is too into the gamer mindset. I'd expect some form of attachment to the various characters that he's lived with for years now. Feels like he looks at everybody as game characters when he's clearly interacting with them on a regular basis. Or is he some kind of sociopath? I like it so far even if it's rambly but the MC is starting to become uncomfortable in how utterly little he cares about anything.
ch 0 1 Chapter 6 Preparations
Video Games · PowerArmorGuy
"Actually, they were the ones who found me, but thank you," said Nie Li trying to keep a distance from her. "Where are the others?"
Book&Literature · DaoistDlL6M5
Honestly very bland so far. Also rushed but mainly bland.
ch 0 6 Chapter 6
Anime & Comics · G_28
"I quite being the villain" my ass, the MC just goes full psycho with no redeeming features, you wish he'd just die for good. Also he gets some random power that makes women retarded yandere around him. But the last straw was him finding about the fact that the heroines can hear his thoughts in the first few chapters, what's the fucking point of the whole setup then? It might as well be a generic OP psycho villain MC, there's nothing else there at this point. Quite literally no point in the initial setup since it all gets thrown out of the window. Fucking change the title.
I Quit Being The Villain
Urban · Kurupts