Garland - Profile

This really needs a lot of fixing, especially the grammar. Their are times when you don't really know who is talking or who is thinking as it blends with the other parts of the story. Heck, somehow "I really don't want to open a harem here" was much more readable than this and that is saying something. As for the story itself, it's pretty weird even for a Hentaiverse story. The opening was just plain WTF with the whole cure having a gender change side effect. Even the two girls who were introduced became too close immediately that i thought he knew them in the past but this was the first time he met them. The start was slightly interesting but after going to the house, it turned uninteresting. As for the MC, he is pretty boring and kinda uninteresting. It's a character taking over the MC yet it doesn't feel like it. Sure he keeps mentioning the knowledge of his past but that's just it. Its always about him talking about it and never really having much change in his overall characters. Heck, the other characters who are close to the MC never really mentions such changes. He is 18 years old yet he acts like an innocent teenager who just leanred what sex is. The MC from "I really don't want to open a harem here" was boring because he overall didn't want to be in the story which already killed some enjoyment out of it and all he did was react to situation instead of being a very active MC. The MC here meanwhile is boring because he is just so boring. Even with him inhabiting the body of the MC doesn't really matter as he is still this boring mc. Overall, another really lackluster translated hentaiverse story. It seems that there is only one good hentaiverse story

Thist story needs a lot of work. Even for something that isn't taken to serious, it has so many problems that it sometimes become unbearable. First of, names. Their are so many names that are either changed or just keeps switching between one name and the next. Heck, even the MC, Arthas, keeps reverting back to the his old name. He is already inhabiting Arthas' body and living his life, what the hell is the point of still using his old name. Heck, you had Calia Menethil's name as Jalia which kinda threw me off since i originally read it as Jaina. The Lore is consistent though i question on what is the point on making Jaina his Aunt. Really no point in all of it. As for the writing, it sure has problems. I can see that its pretty much Porn with Plot but the writing needs some major work. While i wouldn't say that its completely bad, it's not even average level. Writing, Grammer and Story Structure is just failing. I have read One-Shot Smut Stories written better than this. The mere fact that your Synopsis is just one large paragraph already tells me the below average writing.

Another trash story written by the ever trash VirginLoserZ. You are really a curse and parasite in this website. But even then their are also these trash readers and reviews who give your story even 5 stars. Man, this really shows the level of low intellect readers who would read anything as long as their is smut in it.

And only an idiot would accept this level of translation. What? You gonna accept it such as that and have people give it high reviews? If you are translating it then do it properly. That is the point of the whole translation thing yet here you are giving the sad excuse of "then go learn chinese then if you have problem with it". Every translation does that since how grammar and sentence structure is different in every language, just look at subbed Anime.

Another Translated Story and man this is bad. Besides the obvious on what kind of story this is, it suffers a lot of issues. The Writing has major issues in both execution and even just overall spelling and grammar. Especially a lot of spelling mistakes, heck Tanjiro's name is written as Tanjirou and heck, they don't even know Tanjiro's mother's name despite what the title implies. Her name is Kie Kamado, not Aoizhi Kamado.

The idea for the story is interesting but the execution is very lacking. The voice in his head is never explained, it just happens and even if Bete knows it, it's never given much of an explanation. Is it someone from Earth who resides within Bete's mind or what? Maybe because Bete reference's earth things that shouldn't make sense in Orario but we never really get to it. This overall make's Bete's perspective very confusing and just feel out of place sometimes. If your story centered on having someone from Earth who knows Danmachi reside within Bete's mind and talking to him, the overall execution could have been done much better. Also, i don't really like the quotes and references to other form of media. It's not even funny and it comes off as very strange and just removes the feel of the reading. It's just being said by the other character which doesn't make sense.

Overall while it was intersting to see how Izayoi works in the world of MHA, the pacing of the story really just felt too fast. You mentioned not wanting to write over the top descriptive stories but your story suffers from pacing issues and just how it really doesn't work well combined with the short chapters. Its all about balancing and really it just felt weak as its just Izayoi slapped into MHA without much thought. He doesn't interact with his classmates, we don't really see him much outside of what happens in canon and he is just a tag along who really doesn't bring much to the world. Its just following basic canon.

While it was interesting at first, the story kinda became dull with just how boring and uninteresting Kyomu is. Their is not much drive in him and he doesn't even have an interesting personality that really makes him fun to read. The chapters felt so dull and dragged on that i really wanted to skip chapters. These translated stories are rarely good.

Try writing a long review using a phone. You think its gonna be easy typing the keys while thinking of a proper review.

Meh, another one piece diary story where the girls just fall in love with the mc so easily. The summary alone tells you what kind of story this is. These translated stories are never good.

The story is above average and while the structure and writing of the story is fine, it has just certain elements that doesn't make it completely enjoyable. I do find the pacing of the story very slow and i get it that its not really a full plot or action heavy story but just reading it feels slow overall. While it has a basic system, my one issue is the Affection System. I really don't like Affection as a part of the system as its a form of manipulation of the female character's feelings and instead of having a genuine relationship that is built, it feels like the system is manipulating their feelings for the MC by making them like MC. Heck, he already has a trait or perk that makes female character like the MC faster.

Yeah but Heaven wouldn't be called another world as it is still part of the Danmachi Universe. It wasn't the fact that she concluded that he was from another world but just how quickly she had guessed that he was from another. Their could have been many theories and suggestions on why he is like that but immediately she says that he is from another world. She already knew the answer.

Its pretty average to me and while it was interesting to have the stroy set in a fantasy hentai, it kinda got really annoying when the system overall had a personal8ty and was practically a guide to the mc. Its like having a tutorial in an entire playthrough, pretty mich telling the mc everything and handing out rewards left and right to try and justify giving him things without actually being believable. This is why i hate systems that have a personality or a character. Instead of the mc being resourceful and doing things to abuse the system, here the mc can just ask the system for answers and it will do everything for him.