It all started when my dad took the kids to the pool and since then he seems to have disappeared. I waited alongside my siblings, until we were finally sucked into a whirlpool that appeared. The End.
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Ammar_monim: Read it twice please update faster.Easy Cultivation · C35
violet_girl: This butter knife is 6.2 inches it will cut through air if you blow on it. It spreads butter smother than any knife in the east!Black Tech Internet Cafe System · C590
Precheur: "he also hated the blatant murder the MC committed against innocent people because they were related to the target of the MC. Sometimes he wished he would be one of those isekai heroes and go to another world and become an OP character that would have a harem of the most beautiful women and become an unstoppable warrior." i dropped here, knew how trash it would becomeAgainst The Gods with an Anime System
Commanding Wind and Cloud · C590
Commanding Wind and Cloud · C589
Commanding Wind and Cloud · C588
EveryDayWaster: Now, when I started reading this novel, I tried so hard not to complain. It's just feels so rushed. Like the first 5 chaps are like wh-what so he dea- but now he's in the hospi- and eait hes killing people no- and it's yyyyyy. But cough cough, here's how I feel on the novel. MC : it's a better then average MC, like 4 star range. World backgrounds average, but it'd a bit early to say that. But as I know my back, I know NOTHING interesting, or well explained. (Maybe thats my fault as I was confused for info dumps.) STORY : Is again but still to early for reader to get thr juicy bits.
And thats a very bad and basic review of mine. (Probably the former)
So all I'll say untill a 100 chaps later is, slow down and explain ur stuff, add ways to show the viewers transitions, or just dont make ne miss somebody dead in a line. I look foward to what Mr.Author will bring.Super Farmer
A Stay-at-home Dad's Restaurant In An Alternate World · C29
A Stay-at-home Dad's Restaurant In An Alternate World · C13
uryx: Mag is just fine, you're only used to Mike/Michael. I actually prefer Mag, I also think you're thinking of MEG.A Stay-at-home Dad's Restaurant In An Alternate World · C13
mystichead: Mag to Mike
Father to Daddy DearestA Stay-at-home Dad's Restaurant In An Alternate World · C2
Darkload: Thanks for starting up this Novel that's also known as (Daddy Fantasy World Restaurant / Vú Em Chi Dị Giới Phòng Ăn / 奶爸的异界餐厅)A Stay-at-home Dad's Restaurant In An Alternate World · C1
Arusda: Use Mike or mass release them till kitchenovel chap to adapt to Mag. Kinda odd name for mc lolA Stay-at-home Dad's Restaurant In An Alternate World · C1
mystichead: Please use MikeA Stay-at-home Dad's Restaurant In An Alternate World · C1
mithun: Please use Mike instead of mag. Like kitchen novel translator.A Stay-at-home Dad's Restaurant In An Alternate World · C1
YaoYao: Well, a new way to reincarnate/travel to another world.
But still, truck-sama are you really that bored to make another human not to die and suffer when you "gently" touch them or because now your job of transporting people to another worlds is decreasing that you want to make others suffer ?
The next time you do your job please make them die.Sternritter Calendar (ATG fanfic) · C1
Zerak: I recommend editing the chapter.
First: I am not 100% sure but I am confident that they would inject him with something to help him feel no pain or to speed the presses, even if he has brain damage.
Second: the bad **** that happened in his life doesn’t make sense.
Sure the bullying can pass since kids do really said **** sometimes.
But his uncle is unlikely to cut his tongue out and he would probably die before help came. I would change it to something else. Like accidentally drinking some acid or a chemical that ****ed his tongue.
For the hearing you can change it to a robbery or something more likely to happen.
As for the teacher hitting him that would not happen. He is both blind and deaf so he would need very specialised care to be able to learn and anyone that is specialised for that would not be prone to violence.
I recommend changing it to just cancer or something other illnesses because getting punched will not make you lose your sense of smell.
As for the last one it’s possible to happen though I don’t know why someone like that would possibly be out on the street alone, so maybe falling down and hitting his head or something falling on him would be more appropriate
It would not change anything for the future of the story but it would improve the quality of it if you edit it that way or something similar.Sternritter Calendar (ATG fanfic) · C1
Black Tech Internet Cafe System · C387
Rakdos: Too bad no Final FantasyBlack Tech Internet Cafe System · C382
Hiryo: Final Fantasy Hell Yeah!Black Tech Internet Cafe System · C382
Ashless: I like it too. Though I prefer final fantasy. That would be awesomeBlack Tech Internet Cafe System · C382
fan fac atg tdg btth · C1
RekiChan: See this! I gifted this story: my Liver!!!Black Tech Internet Cafe System · C310
N0ES: MC = Mentally Challenged?✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️The Almighty Ring
Peaches: Self-proclaimed professional gamer MC acting like a noob? Check.
Mary Sue MC? Check
Plot Armor thicker than the Author's face? Check.
Loyal Fatty? Check
Instant Harem of breast jiggling women without even trying? Check.
Harem wasted on Clueless Virgin MC? Check.
Bland Thug encounters that exist solely to show how awesome the MC is? Check.The Almighty Ring
BlueSkies: There's hardly a story worth reading about 12 chapters in and there's no character or world development just horrendous word dumps on character gameplay elements that aren't even introduced well; the typical game breaking VR template with a kid who finds a magical ring that lets him hack into the game that his daddy wouldn't buy him and equip things IRL to flex in front of his classmates about how strong he is and not to judge a book by its cover. Combat is essentially my attributes were better> (system log exp rewards)
Maybe next life you rabbits will see Mt Tai!The Almighty Ring
Ethanajn: No personality. No meaningful characters. No direction or plot. Feels like the author just ripped off ideas he liked from other novels and taped them together.The Almighty Ring
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