Taiga_Inari - Profile

Good job :)

Glad to see you taking feedback to heart, author not worked, take your time, enjoy the process and im sure us readers will enjoy it aswell!

Ive caught up now, so far so good, few errors, somethings stick out like a sore thumb so far though, 1) mmo game with no mention from outside world of the game 2) mmo game where we have yet to see any other players 3) His logic for stats esp after leveling up seems silly, also little context is 1 hp a single tackle from death? or is 1 hp baseline of a normal persons sturdiness, explain the stat weight soon please. 4) Bullies beating people up with 0 interaction without adults is weird when their is no context for why, its also overused and uninteresting for the most part, helping the girl with her bullies is a nice touch thus far. But realistically who would go to school if the random kids have more authority than all the teachers, staff, etc. 5) Try to use the author note's instead of word count at end of chapters. Keep up the great work, its nice so far, glad to see a novel with so few grammar issues early in the writing, think about making a discord or something, some people might be able to help proof read or might find some fan artists Regards, Inari

the bear can see him in the cat tribe territory, seems like they should of been wiped out already lol

idk why everyone wants her to start being in control so fast, personally i want her to be unsure of herself, so she improves her current situation with josef, idk how it would be a butthurt survival if they go right into mind control with eye powers XD

the anticipation XD