redx

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  • Joined Jan 2019
  • India
  • Male
  • I am a normal person who loves good stories to pass his free time and also loves to write when I have time

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    Published more than 10000 words on Webnovel

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    Checked in for a total of 90 days

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dbbarnes: I didn't want to give a bad review. I really didn't. But after reading up to your latest chapter (Chapter 20), and reading the comments (most of which I agree with or was already thinking) I have to say that your writing is degrading as it goes along. Instead of getting better, it's getting more lazy and sloppy. If I have to rate this novel, it would be of the lowest rating I can give. The saving grace is that the update speed is quick and stable. But I'd rather have slower updates and a better story. Your mc is heavily reliant on plot armour in the earlier chapters and is becoming increasingly so and even intellectually challenged as the chapters progress. His brain must be dying. There in no point, decision or idea he has that can make the reader go - wow, that was a good idea. Smart move Mr. MC - There is also no challenge or suspense, as every action he has taken so far is completely predictable.

Fortunately, it is still in the early part of the novel, so you can easily improve the standard of quality if you put in a little effort. Read the objective comments in your latest chapter and take it to heart.

You won't be able to keep that ranking you seem so proud of if you don't, as many readers are already considering dropping the novel. My advice, at the start of the next chapter, before the story begins, let the readers know you saw the comments and objections and will take them seriously and try your best to improve on the mc and storyline.
If you do make the effort and improve, I will gladly delete this review and low rating while leaving a better review and higher rating. I didn't want to leave a poor review/rating in the first place. Usually, I'd just drop the novel instead of leaving poor remarks, but I think this story has potential to do well and go far. However, it's up to the author to decide if he's adaptable and open-minded enough to do so

The Lust System
6 hours ago

Andylovescandy: Writing Quality: 2 star = The grammar is very messy, it feels like I am reading a novel from lmntl, but its more confusing. Its still understandable to say the least so 2 stars.
Stability of Updates: 5 star = Author keeps releasing a lot of chapters which is nice.
Story development: 1 star = I have read the author works before and I realized that he keeps wanting to push this novel in the same direction as Hitose note, which was way better than this.
The only difference is, some new anime like Detective conan is added and instead of taking Raku's place author went for his brother.
The relationships are awkward, I get that, its the type of novel were MC is great and every girls keeps falling for our MC but this is the same place where the author fails and makes this novel worse than Hitose note or any other novel he wrote before.
The girls keep falling for MC but Author keeps cock blocking himself, even though we all know that he will have s*x with the girl a chapter later on.
Character design: 1 star: Even though the characters are from other animes, author fails to maintain the character's behaviors even though he doesn't have to think about any of them. (I know its hard to write and bla bla bla... but these characters already exist in other works, so its just copying the character's characteristics but author still fails to do so.)
Let's leave the other character's for now, but the author can't decide even on the MC characteristics. Sometimes he is dense, sometimes he is way to clever and flirty, sometimes he is a gentleman but other time is a creepy pervert.
He keeps acting like every girl belongs to him even though sometimes he keeps stopping himself from getting them. Like make your mind, do you want them or not.
And the characters, Every chapter at least 5 new characters are introduced and every one of them sounds and acts like a harem candidate, By the count of it, MC is fu*king every women in his town. I am on chapter 58 right now and I lost count of how many girls there are by the 10th chapter.
World Background: 2 Star = The world is very confusing since a lot of different anime's are cramped into one place. But props to the author for trying but it could be done better.

Conclusion: I am not hating on author or his work like I said, I liked his previous novel before but I am quite disappointed since instead of improving he went downhill from what he created.
If you want to read this novel keep in mind that its not going to be sophisticated in the very least. Its like a very plain ****** novel written by a hyped up author, who wants to make his novel good but it turns out bad. It's not that bad like some novels in this site but its not good either.
If you want to binge read something due to you having a lot of free time, go ahead and read this novel.
I suggest author to focus on making a single chapter perfect than releasing 10 in a day. Quality over Quantity.

Start by Becoming a Mangaka
7 hours ago
Sorry but MC has become too arrogant for my taste... View More
Dual Cultivation · C136
3 weeks ago

The_God_Asura: Look author I liked your story up to chapter 30 and a few, I gave some chances for the story is continuedi to read, more know already is in chapter 70 and still you did not leave the danmachi, in addition to the MC still be so weak that comes to discouragement.

I then stopped reading, more from what I saw and the revisions of the story, is still in the world of danmachi, and his story came in chapter 500.

This is insane if I've ever been discouraged in chapter 70, do you imagine I read until the 500? Damn I'm just wasting my time, in my opinion you've spoiled the story since Chapter 30, for a ****** reason. Women trying to change the cool way of the protagonist.

This was not to my liking, you instead improve the MC, spoiled it completely, until it seems the story of 'Heir to the world' the only difference is that it does not have NTR.

I just wanted to give my opinion, nothing against you, author plus your story totally discouraged me, even left me with depression, I had never seen an MC that started legal, more fic ...

Endless Path : Infinite Cosmos
1 month ago

DarthVetar: At first I was good for the fights!
Character development: Ok

The reason for giving 2 star: Harém, are too many members in the harem!

Ok Vahn, it's a white paper! Even so, at every meeting with the girls, at least some of them were already members of the harem! It is all good to have presented visions of each one of them. But I do not think this justifies this harem!

System: I did not like it! It gives you the feeling that you're restricting MC! Well, not that he is, for he is not! That's all I feel!

Action and adventure: At first I was enjoying this, I know the purpose of this is the battle of Vahn's social life! But even so, if you can incorporate more of Action and Adventure into the future, it would be great!

Romance: None! At first, it is by the harem that it exists!

I wonder ... if it merged [Enkidu], the Emperor's Domain, and Vahn's blood, would it extinguish the Divinity of a God permanently?

Endless Path : Infinite Cosmos
1 month ago
The content has been deleted
Endless Path : Infinite Cosmos
1 month ago
Sorry but chapter was quite pale and we didn't get to know why he was profound sec anyway which was sad! View More
Dual Cultivation · C135
1 month ago
The content has been blocked
The Sinners' Queen · C97
1 month ago
Sorry but gio and sofony love story really not working, when ever they did something romantic it felt like ither stupid or out of place. Because to me there relationship is something friends with benefit.

Still waiting for sofony doing it one night stand threesome and Chris becoming official host View More
The Sinners' Queen · C93
1 month ago
I don't think gio should be an MC this story because this is a story about immoral system and their host so not being a host gio shouldn't be a MC

I really wanted to see how sofony going to do her one night stand and also I am still surprised that sofony didn't do it with any girl, also I wanted to sofony threesome and Chris becoming host with help from sofony

Lastly I am little disappointed with today's chapter for technically first paid chapter because it was kinda little bit older side nothing happened only bunch of info dump.. View More
The Sinners' Queen · C91
1 month ago
I think this story should have not one but MC one sofony and other Chris, that way it would open lot of things like more story always have something to write, second than we would have two version of immoral host one male another female. What this would give us same mission two different perspective like have one night stand this two opposite gender in case of female it's very difficult task no matter how good looking the other party may be but in case of male it's god gifted mission to some.

So that why I want to see two MC View More
The Sinners' Queen · C90
1 month ago
Thanx for the 2 chapter because I really wanted to know what happened to Chris after. You it would be crazy and be funny if Wendy tells sofony that she likes Chris and wanted her help because what ever she tried she only angers him. With sofony's immoral system help she would get Chris like sofony hypnotise him to get closer to Wendy and system didn't help because Chris can officially be immoral host

I have a question did felicity ever loved him because if she really loved him that much than why steffy doesn't have any attractions towards chris....

Though I don't mind Chris and Wendy even I think it's interesting but it would more appropriate if Chris and steffy and also sofony tells him steffy is felicity... View More
The Sinners' Queen · C90
1 month ago

Ovizit: I wanted more chris story and I want to see sofony doing something immoral not with gio. I really wanted chapter where wendy and steffy about to assulted but sofony took their place to save them that's they thought and also they thought those men took her first time..

The Sinners' Queen · C88
1 month ago
I don't get how sofony know this miler dude is related to Lara when system on inform her she was suitable person to complete the quest, system didn't say who he married to and how sofony knows that that guys wife is not cheating on him because she won't cheat that doesn't mean everyone is the same...

I am not saying sofony should enjoy and actively cheat on gio all I want to see is if system giving her mission like one night stand, threesome(2 men), with other girl, threesome (2 girl) than she would dislike it even try to avoid it but at the end she would do it.
But if sofony don't do this than sofony should be removed as a main character and I want see more Chris what happened did he became one or not. Personally I would like to see Chris to be one that way we could see a dude version of immoral View More
The Sinners' Queen · C87
1 month ago
There are tons of way indirectly control people and a item coasting 20k-30k access by level 4-5 host could easily beat sofony little anti mind control ring View More

yanagi08: I think it was stated in a previous chapter. She can reveal details bout the system like its abilities but never say it's a system for immorality.

The Sinners' Queen · C86
1 month ago
You said that Fenrir wanted punish evil person by killing and creepling them and bring order by putting fear among people and those things just makes a person a tyrant. Only thing I meant to said if Fenrir did this she would become tyrant who have lone with few none companion that she could trust but she became ignorant about that world than she still be alone but not tyrant. View More

Einlion: No, this is entirely random when you consider the context of the story. If it isn't related to the context, it is random by default.

Fenrir's Journey : I Shall Devour The Heavens! · C60
1 month ago
I am not saying random things what I said she would become a tyrant who everyone will fear they will co-operate with her because they fear her most and respect her little and if she somehow became a weak than she won't have many person to realy upon and that's loneliness. View More

Einlion: Fenrir was alone the moment she entered this world so, once again, you're saying random **** xD

Fenrir's Journey : I Shall Devour The Heavens! · C60
1 month ago
I know I read it I said I didn't like sofony revealing too much info about her capabilities about system because the story was going sofony won't cheat and unless she started killing and torture other than sofony would be stuck in level 3-4 and there are thousands of hosts and most of them would be stronger so they could easily brain wash gio to turn against her. So than she would be in a big disadvantage. View More

yanagi08: I think it was stated in a previous chapter. She can reveal details bout the system like its abilities but never say it's a system for immorality.

The Sinners' Queen · C86
1 month ago
If Fenrir uses cruel methods like killing and bringing fear to others after few years Fenrir would found herself at same place as vhan was in divinision alone. View More
Fenrir's Journey : I Shall Devour The Heavens! · C60
1 month ago
I have a question few chapters back when a reader said it would be nice if vhan could get ghost rider eyes ability to punish sinner but than writer said he can't buy abilities now this chapter vhan can find mystery ability in item shop that can be brought..so I am confused!😥😥 View More
Endless Path : Infinite Cosmos · C804
1 month ago
I have a question if system gave sofony a mission like do it with 2 random man. Is she gonna ask him for permission than I think if writer gonna go that path than I think sofony should remove as main character as using gio help completing this mission is to easy and also wierd him saying ok sofony doing other man. One last thing I think sofony revealing too much about the system... View More
The Sinners' Queen · C86
1 month ago
Looks like it... View More

LucioOrdo: Does she have... a brother complex? 0_o

Dual Cultivation · C127
1 month ago
I really felt bad that some of manor girls unique ability was not properly used like Lili transformation ability only use end up being satisfying vhan lust, mikito gravity magic wasn't property utilize ( you have remember in anima mikito almost one shot a level 5 boss). Mikito gravity magic would be great help when fighting a bulky enemy if she could master it using Eva magic system.. View More
Endless Path : Infinite Cosmos · C802
1 month ago
Harmes made a fool out of vhan with out him being notice View More
Endless Path : Infinite Cosmos · C798
1 month ago
My question is how did crish forgot everything even he forgot everything his system AI can't be hipnotise.

I was wondering when we will see sofony doing threesome.
I like to crish getting both Wendy and steffy. View More
The Sinners' Queen · C84
1 month ago
I feel like there is more to su yin and su yang relationship than simple brother and sister... View More
Dual Cultivation · C126
1 month ago
It will be more interesting if sofony do a threesome in front of Wendy of steffy and it was stage like this that she was forced do this immoral act to save her and also in there point of veiw sofony was virgin losing her flower to save them even she has to hypnotise them.. View More
The Sinners' Queen · C82
1 month ago
I like to see sofony saw force to do a mission by the system like
Do a threesome or punishment Wendy or steffy would be her place View More
The Sinners' Queen · C82
1 month ago
One thing bell isn't a prevert, if he was than he would easily agree to harmit spy on girls bathing in the anima. View More
Endless Path : Infinite Cosmos · C794
1 month ago
I don't know why Fenrir refuse to be a descipile because it only do her good like if she became one than she can stay there which would help her get stronger and also she could learn lot of basic thing about cultivation from place master which vhan never thought her. And if she learn cultivation techniques from place master it would take more time reach if she cultivate some where else View More
Fenrir's Journey : I Shall Devour The Heavens! · C56
1 month ago
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