Fireclaw205 - Profile

This book is decent the only flaw is the author is obsessed with repeated phrases such as, “he’s anything but ordinary” or “Val is unordinary” “Val can see because he has nocturnal vision” like let us make the assumption after you have told us in the past he is this. It makes the book unreadable because all I can focus on now is how every other paragraph you repeate these phrases. The book is good other than that so if you can stomach having to read the same phrase over and over again.

From when I started reading to where I am now, I would say that the concept of this story and the development is very good. The only thing holding this down would be that there are a lot of grammatical errors. So much so that I have to spend time trying to figure out what the authors means in some cases. While this takes away from the story, it isnt enough to stop me from reading this book! One advice I would give the author for improvement is obviously learning the english language, as well as trying to deepen the plot of the story! A couple examples I have from other books ive read would be that instead of the main character going through an event and then magically getting the ability to not register pain or care about pain, they make it so that the event is super discriptive and made it so that something happened to where the main character got used to pain. They describe it like, “Suwu felt like his skin was being flayed alive, his muscles being streched around his body, trying to compresses his bones into fine powder! His organs felt like they inflated so much that they were trying to rip apart his body to run away.” That type of discription. Anyway I just wanted to give my opinion because I enjoyed your story and can’t wait for you to devlop as a writer!