Badges 3
Moments 51
Facade?
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Game of Thrones: Auron Blackfyre's Tale
TV · Inkbot
Great story so far. Very much enjoyed the spin on the reason for Dumbledore’s manipulations. I hope you keep writing. I was wondering if the memory potion would reveal more of Voldemort’s memories through his scar, as he is a Horcrux. But we shall see.
ch 0 7 Chapter 7:Gomez
When A Wizard meets Wednesday
Movies · kelly_over
*repairs had to be made often.
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A Spartan's galactic empire
Fantasy · jonas_karel
*Emerged - immersed
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A Spartan's galactic empire
Fantasy · jonas_karel
*dignity - a lot of misspellings are “ie” rather than “y”
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A Spartan's galactic empire
Fantasy · jonas_karel
I would just remove the adjectives “strongest and latest” since they don’t really mean anything here. Plus there is the misspelling.
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A Spartan's galactic empire
Fantasy · jonas_karel
Using quotes “quotation marks” when a character is speaking is recommended.
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A Spartan's galactic empire
Fantasy · jonas_karel
*his baby
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A Spartan's galactic empire
Fantasy · jonas_karel
Why did you grammar like this!? :(
But what is even more 'cooler' was how slow everything was.
Burn Bright-Never Die (a Primarch si in Cyberpunk Edgerunners/2077)
Anime & Comics · vtorx_0867
*than* or replace with “from”
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A New world (Cyberpunk 2077)
Video Games · Beans_on_a_tree
He was quoting a poet. She identified the poet/source.
"Ralph Waldo Emerson," she said after a moment, her voice as flat and toneless as ever. Yet Ezra detected a hint of surprise in that simple statement.
A Wizard in Wednesday
TV · a_BMO
Daenerys was born during/after the rebellion as they fled the palace to Dragonstone. So this line makes no sense. Maybe change it to if anyone spoke ill of his family, Viserys would have skinned them. Since she was yet to be born. His character might blame her for his mother’s death so I don’t think there was ever any kindness she experienced.
Before the rebellion, if anyone had dared to think about her, Viserys himself would have them skinned alive.
Game Of Thrones: Loki In The Westeros
TV · Cruel_Death
You keep confusing the genders for this FEMALE Dryad.
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The Witcher: Lord of the Empire
Book&Literature · TitoVillar
*Her world
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The Witcher: Lord of the Empire
Book&Literature · TitoVillar
The narration here changes strangely. Wanda is alone waking up therefore saying” I was different” from Travis’s perspective does not make sense. Maybe change “I” to “Travis.”
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Not “tentacles” -> “antennae”
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The Witcher: Lord of the Empire
Book&Literature · TitoVillar
Wary—>wariness Boys—>boy
The entire room had different reactions to the latest arrival. Whereas most of the girls shot him looks of outright interest or even longing, many of the pureblood boys showed great signs of wary. Marlene noticed how Evans' eyes beamed a bit brighter at seeing him and she smiled, while the Snape boys next to her scowled and shot Peverell a calculating stare. Her soon-to-be betrothed, next to her, had perhaps the strongest reaction. Rabastan's hand twitched to the inside of his robes, his face turned into a twisted mask of hatred and anger.
Temporal Paradox: The Second Chance of Harry Potter
Book&Literature · Perseus_Blackfyre