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KARBONZ: Meh how dull seems hes going to be a slave to womanThe Marvelous Dragon Balls · C6
Diablo099: Bull**** if mc not stupid then it the author I like your work until this chap that he just teach haki to someone that he met not long ago even a kid will not trust stranger but mc ????? And your excuse is mc is not a genius but what I saw is mc is stupid heheheAsgardian Sword God · C32
Harsimran_Singh_5205: Ima dropping it’s getting too forced as of now. A normal man would keep his life a first priority and keep secret man Haki is unique to him and if he need help to protect his own life his conquerering haki should be locked away he ain’t no king at this point just a kid with great strength but not that great wisdom thanks :)Asgardian Sword God · C32
Diablo099: This is it he say normal in the intelligence department but what we see is he very stupid just teach haki that unique and can make someone stronger to other this what you call normal in intelligence department?????????what a load of bull****Asgardian Sword God · C32
Soiichiro: I don't get the point of teaching them (maybe vitra since he seems nice), he looses training time for himself and give potential betrayers some advantages. Anyway that's only my thought and it's not possible to please everybody.Asgardian Sword God · C32
Shahenshah: Why is he training a person he doesn't even know? What if he is the one who has tried to kill him? MC can't be that stupidAsgardian Sword God · C32
The_Wulin: hehe, sorry for wanting lots of girls, I can't help it. I would try to make a promise to make a normal story with 1 lover, but that's probably impossible for me. Sad that you don't like the harem route.Douluo Dalu: Wulin's Legend
KARBONZ: Decided to have a look and this is actually done well it immediately introduces 2 girls unlike others where the guy has that one girl for a while then immediately fùcks another girl since he can't control himself and ends up being an unloyal baśťard. So this is good since hes straight to the point that he will be with other girls I dispise it when he's with that one girl for so long and then ends up betraying her so this was pretty goodDouluo Dalu: Wulin's Legend
Soiichiro: Please, tell me your MC won't teach them haki... That's just one of the only counter of his logia body. With assassins after him, that's just suicid and dumb... Otherwise great chapter as always.Asgardian Sword God · C31
Ehbon: I can already see a bit of a downward spiral for this story, and it makes me sad. Completing a nanosuit at the same time he completes the arc reactor, that’s laughable. It took Tony years of innovation after the reactor to even start to use nanotechnology in his suits, and as we’ve already established he is way smarter than Lucifer. I’m seeing the pattern of giving the Mc every single power in the MCU right away and that is NOT a good thing story wise. This’ll just become a story about the Mc never being challenged by anything because he’s a god by the time he’s 12, and let’s be real... there are enough stories like that on webnovel to begin with. I was really hoping this would just stick to angelic powers for Lucifer, and maybe devils deals and such but unfortunately it looks like he’s going to get every power under the sun.
I’ll keep reading for now, in hopes that my assumption is wrong but I’m fairly certain it’s already happening.Adventurer In The Multiverse · C10
The_Faggotten_Ones: the good part for me is only the first arc(fairy tail), after that? meh. i can't even bear myself to read the second arc, and drop at naruto arc. i like the old man theme tho, pity... its boring....A New Path
nattomakki: Its mean that author has improved to made his writing more realistic. In real live people of course will frown upon Harem idea, though theres a rare case that some woman instead want to become mistress then legal wife.Sis-Con with Dimensional Chat Group · C150
GinOokami: 2 years is quite a long time tho'. Especially since she's a married woman and 3 kids (now 2) with her.
But I don't know the train of thoughts of modern women, much less as old as this.
I'm probably reading too much NTR doujinshi... yeah that's probably itBecoming Immortal · C11
True_Dio_Brando: I didn't understand the kidnapping part. Someone get in there and kidnap her? How did this happen? The two were not together. Did the protagonist not react in time? I did not understand.Sis-Con with Dimensional Chat Group · C146
mrayj45: Mc will need jedi robes to hide the sparkles or maybe assassin's creed outfit.Becoming Immortal · C9
Flawless_Saber_Dao: I think you are downplaying it too much. first off, I am sure that the earlier vampires must be more powerful than what you see in the movies(them being very early of their kind and all) and I think that the setting author wanted to show in this scene was that him being unable to progress for a long time and able to increase powers in a critical moment. Plus it was shown in this scene that he was only able to control lightning when his core disintegratedBecoming Immortal · C9
Jaykay2307: Why should I have to do work to enjoy something, Of course grammar shouldn't be the only thing you're looking for in a book but if you consistently use something like "ur" instead of "your" then obviously you don't care about the quality of the chapters just the quantity which is a disservice to the story Andy th either stories which are within this one.Start by Becoming a Mangaka
FinzRaizer: JUST extra information.
Chinese Qidian now banned amd erasing novel with corrup government and Relationship beyond kissing ... what the **** with that ruleIllimitable Fantasy Works · C0
ChikaYo: Actually i rather read an epic battle between servant rather than this wet dream.. a master being played around by his own servant is not cool at all 😓Illimitable Fantasy Works · C0
KappaDaoist: wtf author you just broke number one rule in this kind of novel : dont tell npc about system or you get deleted from existence you can just tell them when they join his squad now I hope you fix it this is pretty big loop holeIllimitable Fantasy Works · C7
Kayox23: I want to know how can people say to a baby who has just been born cute I mean all babies when they're born look like potatoesRe-Nisekoi · C1
EVE_CHAN: "Judging from the fact that my mother didn't die from giving birth to me, I can only presume I'm Raku's older brother"
Raku's mother still alive, she live in other country because of her hobby, why you suddenly assume she would die because of giving birth of Raku?Re-Nisekoi · C1
TrueImmortalDevil: Hiw to make a story boring 101 ... give mc power he havent worked for ...Marvel: My Own Path · C3
Bruhnoe: The novel is being well written, without any grammatical errors or problems in the continuity of events.
Just the ability to steal status is extremely powerful and it doesn't have a large MP expense to use.
But I have problems with the protagonist. He is a tremendous hypocrite.
The MC can get strong easily and quickly, yet it steals the status of all students who have been transported to Tortus with him. Even people who are decent. And only leaving the protagonist out because it can attract the attention of Ehit, the villain of the story.
He makes everyone's future more difficult, he knows the **** he's doing and still goes on, and to say that he feels guilty about doing such a thing just makes me angrier at him. He didn't need to do something like that, he can steal status and skills very easily, yet he steals student status instead of anyone else in the room, being able to steal from knights, the king or simply wait and steal from others.
Worst of all, is that either he is someone who does not care about others or is an asshole. If he feels guilty for what he does. I believe it's the last one.
If you say he's being an asshole because of his past, I say it's bull****. He lost his parents at 16, almost an *****. Even if it does affect him, his being an asshole is still too much for my opinion.
And the author who adds Yue as the first harem girl that MC will have. About that, I find it funny to do, since it's much better to steal her skills and status if it's to follow the pattern of actions the MC is doing. He would get strong fast, gain strong skills, and letting Yue down there disrupts Ehit's plans as he wants Yue to be his new body.
Summing up all about my review. The story is well written, no grammar errors and no problem in the events written so far. The MC is a tremendous asshole. And so I will not read this novel anymore.
Good luck with your novel, Author.Arifureta: Commonplace Gamer, Strongest in Other Worlds
Saying English is not your first language is not a shield for criticism. If it isn’t your first language then don’t write in English and post it to fanfiction.net. However, the author writes that to deflect criticism. Just spend more time editing chapters. The author takes it a step beyond laziness when he says that if there are inconsistencies that it’s not his fault. ITS NOT A FANFICTION IF YOU ARE JUST MAKING UP BULLSHIT YOU VAGUELY REMEMBER FROM MOVIES! As for the main characters personality, there is nothing worth speaking about. World background? I already explained how it’s basically how a fake fan of marvel who has watched a few movies sees Marvel.[DROPPED]Lost Amongst the Stars-A Marvel Fanfic
Issou: You know I don't mind cheerful characters, but when you introduce your MC's backstory as hellish, you can't write your MC as an excited kid. "Omg Sharingan so cooool". Your writing is good but there is something wrong with this Mc. If he was just a random kid reincarnating then I would understand, but his past does not match with his current emotions.Marvel: My Own Path
HaoYue: The author is really determined on making the mc not OP but he gave it mystic eyes of death perception which is an extrmely op ability itself. So what he did is to make mc's other abities below average which is stupid. Reading the 1st part of the novel feels like a nasuverse fanfic instead of naruto. Although the author has great writing skills, the story got put off my his resolute idea of making the "mc op but not op"Cursed with Mystic Eyes in Naruto
WealthyRaccoon: Overly reliant on the source material to the point where the presence of the MC amounts to absolutely nothing, so much so that calling this fan fiction is a stretch so exaggerated it pulls your groin thrice over. Author took about 60 chapters to recount the 3rd book (at a bit under 100k words), while the original is a grand total of 107k. This alone isn't an indicator of poor quality but the fact that the only change we get is someone getting torn apart at the end, while the rest remains an almost shot for shot remake.
The MCs sole purpose at this point in time seems to be snarky comments and the occasional one liners, only making any form of contribution once it's relevance to the plot has been whittled down to a finite point.
Some HP fan fiction goes crazy with ideas like cultivation, dragon animagi and ancient families, but at least all of these stories have tried to inovate upon the source material, while this author is clearly far too comfortable wrapped up in the warm embrace of a pre gay Dumbledore JK Rowling.
Vastly over rated and provides almost nothing of substance. Just read the originals again, after all they'll tell the same story.Chronicles of Arth: Prince of Shadows
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