Almarik_san - Profile

A bit to condescending, and too easy for the main character. It's like the author is a bit childish and want to resume his grievances... not to my liking

I'm at chapter 8, the developpment of the character is boring and too OP. It's like the author want to take the powers from all his favorite manga and give them to his protagonist, a wizard, less than 11 years old. I don't buy it. 8 chapters of "magical theory" that don't work, and, "Oh I'm learning all the things possible in a few month because of course!" Lame

Not a quality ff, and the first chapters Are rushed, too OP, without much explanation. It seems to me the author wanted to add all the fun things at the same time so he could write his own story in the twilight universe. I mean, that's ff so we can't be too demanding. But as a STORY and not just ff I think the author need to rewrite a bit. It has potential, and if in the futur the author try to ameliorate his/ her writing quality, the backroung and character design, I will read it with delight ! Thank you for trying. Good luck.

I don't like the flow of the story, the pace change sudenly when the new character enter the mind. It goes from a abused 8 years old with good memory, to a "16 years old" who seems 80. It's like one night the author has the Idea to add 2-3 world, and alternate universe, and the protagonist become OP without notice,, the protagonist suddenly know how all things work, can make money at 8 years old, is a programmer, a wizard, use telepathy to control people, a X-man etc... The First 2 chapter had a good flow, then suddenlly 8 years, 14 years, The protagonist is powerfull and in 2 min can hack internet and anderstand all the world. That's a bad build up for the character design and the world design. Like the author wanted to do all the things possible in one try....

It's hard to read, to author write 2 paragraphs to say the same thing. 3 sentences with the same meaning using synonyms. It give me headaches. I don't like the way the character think, it's not realistic, you can see the mind of the author, the plan behind it. Hopefully the author will learn from the critics and continue to write greater ff or original stories.