Webnovel Author: Luffy_For_The_Win - Fanfic Collection

I just got to ch35 and am not sure if buying the later chapters are worth it. Pros: It was an interesting story with a cool premise and character development. Cons: The writing is subpar at best. I could easily fix half the problems using the free version of grammarly. The problem that irked the most was the bad pacing and storybuilding half the time. There are scenes that the mc is supposed to have a development in, and by the end of the development I can’t/don’t see any change. This is expounded by the times the author realized he forgot to explain something and just suddenly threw it in with no context or better explanation behind it. The author even forgets to explain ther world, I.e. worldbuilding, when it’s needed to expound on the situation. This is probably one of the worst uses of time skips I’ve ever read. It’s like I’m going to have to train, proceeds to skip any kind of explaination of the world and any systems he will use to train, jumps to end and has barely had half a point to 1 point of growth when he is supposed to be beyond 6 points. It’s completely off the rails. Then there is the characters that he apparently introduces himself to to use them later. Then proceeds to not give anymore character building on any of the characters except for their introduction and his description of their traits. Very little else there. Then there are the status screens. They don’t mean anything to the readers except to fill word count. There are even 2 times where the author copy pasted the stat sheet and there were no changes to it. It’s like the age old setting, show proof/growth through actions not words. None of the upgrades in stats seemed to improve the mcs abilities. At no time does he even use these stats corrects. A grade 3 fighter punches our newly grade 2 mc(2 is way weaker than 3) and he doesn’t explode. Considering 10 in stats is the threshold in superhuman. The mc was at 11. The enemy was in the 20s. The dude is twice as strong as the mc and he is somehow able to fight back. Just too much of a stretch there. Overall, I liked the story so far and the plot. Just too many skips and lack of character building all around. Tips for the author: Don’t use training time skips if u haven’t explained how the mc is going to train. Don’t give character intros if all they are important for is filler or u are just going to skip all the possible interactions between the mc and them.

I’ll go add it to my library and see if I can give any constructive help if it needs it

Take in mind that I usually don’t like 1st person writing. First for the good parts: it has a decent premise and has good plot. Bad parts: First is the horrible choice in what,1-3, person the story should be written. Throughout the novel the author switches between 1st, 2nd, and 3rd person. The author also seems to be writing in third person and then just replacing all the he with I. It turns out very striking when the mc is talking about himself in an outsiders(3rd persons) perspective but sticks with I throughout. The author also likes to have sentences describing scenes with you(2nd person) perspective and then follows with a 1st person sarcastic comment. It is so bad that I had to stop early. Character design is kinda influenced by the above problem. The mc seems very apathetic and distant. This is further exacerbated by the seemingly sarcastic comments made by the mc along with the serious 4th wall breaking moments. It really takes a lot away from the story and made me drop the book after the 5th time seeing it happen. Note to author: Stick with 1 perspective. Don’t assume that the readers know everything about the one piece series. Don’t make mc comments different from how you describe the world. If u describe, for example, a teleportation as flashy and unexpected( again with the sudden perspective change) don’t follow it up with the mc saying it is normal. Who is the mc talking to? The reader, obviously, but keep ur stories contained in the story!!! Don’t try to comment on imaginary, in the mcs perspective, people. It just drives me to believe the mc is psychotic. This isn’t helped by the attitude and personality traits u decided to give ur mc.