- 0 d Continuous Writing
- 25.3 h of Reading
- 12 Read books
Winter_Blade1980
female LV 11I am an oddity
2020-01-08 Joined United StatesBadges 7
Moments 23
lol. 🤣 well all and fun but from what I've learned !? works for that. Or a few extra words to make it exciting. Believe you me, I would love to use all those but the true is I guess the access is like distracting from the story or something like that. for this story, it's up to the author . I just wanted to help because I've been there and now I see the same mistakes I've made as a new writer as this one has. got to help each other out 🙃
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System Nemesis
Fantasy · LaPlume
they are easy to miss. 😉 easy to miss when you are having fun writing
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System Nemesis
Fantasy · LaPlume
as in ?! but then it still a question but it could be changed to !? to make the sentence different
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System Nemesis
Fantasy · LaPlume
I was referring to it needs to be pural. it is written as just bag, 4 bag instead of 4 bags
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System Nemesis
Fantasy · LaPlume
shouldn't it be are instead of were? both words change a sentence
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System Nemesis
Fantasy · LaPlume
instead of persons , people might sound better
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System Nemesis
Fantasy · LaPlume
I think it needs an !
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System Nemesis
Fantasy · LaPlume
🤭🤣🤭🤢🤮🤣
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System Nemesis
Fantasy · LaPlume
if the sentence was changed then yes. But the the sentence said "one of" which suggests multiple. 😁
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System Nemesis
Fantasy · LaPlume
🤦♀️🤭🤣
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System Nemesis
Fantasy · LaPlume
lol. not good with the romance department but don't make the character out to be such a robot. nothing wrong with teasing the reader but this is rough. add something nice. it doesn't have to be R or X. there are ways to give a romance scene that is pg or pg 13.
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System Nemesis
Fantasy · LaPlume
I realized why the beginning bothered me. The comments are a little right. beginning has character development and instead of being vague add to it. study what primitive humans used to make clothing. Give your story a meal meat to it and make it strong. the did come into that cave with nothing but there are ways around it instead of ignoring it. good story 👏
ch 83 Melting
System Nemesis
Fantasy · LaPlume
See this! I just gifted the story: Potion
ch 31 Geopolitical Situation
System Nemesis
Fantasy · LaPlume
yeah I noticed that. it's the way it is written it looks mixed up
System Nemesis
Fantasy · LaPlume